WWYD - pregnancy related (long)

[quinny]

I had my NT scan last week and the baby is beautiful (2 arms, 2 legs, beautiful profile/bones in face, big ol belly, fingers and toes) and the NT was 1.8 -excellent, only thing, the baby is measuring 7-8 days too big and was a few days ahead for my initial dating u/s.    I know this isn't a big deal, N was measuring tiny all along and he is perfect but the problem, they want to move my due date.  According to me, I am 13 weeks on Friday.  According to them, I am 14 weeks on Thursday.  Meh.  Who cares, right?  Well... help me decide how big a stink to make over this, k?

background:  I've only had one period since December 2009.  The one and only period I have had was the month I got pregnant with this baby.  Only problem, it was early.  I had been ovulating for months prior and was surging on the dot, every day 14 but my one and only period was.. you guessed it... 8 days early.  So they are really adamant on moving my due date because a) the baby measures appropriately and b) it matches up with the first day of my last cycle.

I know I didn't get pregnant 8 days before I said I did.  I had sperm in me one.single.day.  I got the smiley face the night before (after being negative all day) and went in the next morning.  There is no gray area, here.  My problem.  Since N was an emergency c-section and I am going for a VBAC, I cannot have any interventions - at all.  Nothing to help labor along - period.  So if I go with the new date, I run the (high) risk of them pressuring me to have a c-section before it is necessary, since there is a good chance I will go over my due date, because it is incorrect.  I'm all about another section, if that's what happens but I'm old and I want to try for another baby and so the fewer scars on my old uterus, the better the chances of it being successful so I want to try really hard for a VBAC.  not to mention recovering was hell and I can't imagine doing it with a toddler and a newborn.

Should I:
a) shrug it off and wait to see how the baby continues to grow
b) throw a fit now.

I'm in the 'a' camp, but I don't know if I'm being to passive.

[hensmum]

Wait, so did you ovulate/insem on day 14 or day 22?

I might let it go for now, and then address if you start going "overdue"

Also, speaking of recovery, you happen to be friends & neighbors with a postpartum doula...

[seattlekari]

Hmm. Could you gently remind your provider about the small detail of only having sperm in there for one day and when that actually was? Otherwise I'd be inclined to let it wait for a while and see how things look when you get closer.

[ElsaVonM]

I would throw a fit, for the simple reason that you KNOW how pregnant you are, and your records should reflect the truth. If they have a good reason not to believe you or not to change the records, they shouldn't object to explaining that to you.

[quinny]

Thanks for your responses. I worry if I don't make a stink now it'll be weird coming out of left field later. But at the same time, I think there's a good chance the baby's growth will even out and this will all be for naught. I already put up a fight, initially, when my betas came back really low and they acted like I was miscarrying. I told off the NP reminding her again that she was calculating my due date wrong and the baby was implanting when they took the beta, which was why it was so low. It's crazy I have to fight it again. In fairness to my OB, it's coming from maternal fetal medicine this time. I guess I'll just play it by ear at my next appointment. It's just infuriating that no one will listen toe when I say I know exactly what day I got pregnant (or within 24 hours).

B- don't think I haven't thought about it! If I do have a csection, can you be a night nurse maid? That was the hardest part, trying to sit up in bed, with no abs, and pick him up to nurse him. Hell pure hell. I felt like a horrible mother. I couldn't lift him to feed him. I can't imagine managing a toddler too.

[hensmum]

Haha, some postpartum doulas do overnight work! But that'll cost ya

I asked about your O/insem date, because if it was CD14, then it's a moot point, and their new due date would be accurate. All of us who got pregnant with any kind of AI have/had "inaccurate" due dates - no one gets pregnant on CD1. If it was CD22, then you do really have a point.

After thinking about this and reading replies, I think what I would do is bring it up casually at the next appt, in a conversational way. Like, "Hey, can we talk about my due date? I want to try for VBAC and want to make sure I'm not considered 'overdue' before my time."

Also - I can come by sans toddler Weds or Fri while he's in school. Let me know if you're around

[thiswillbe]

I think you've gotten good advice. The only thing I'd add is that if you don't feel like you're gaining any traction with the "sperm on X date" thing, you might consider writing a brief memo to that effect and asking them to put it in your file. Just so they have it on the record later if if becomes an issue.

[ssg73]

This is what happened to me. We didn't insem until day 22 possibly 23 of my cycle but I was dated from my last mp. I asked to have it changed and they flat out told be no. Its funny that you were worried about being over due because as I read the start of your post I immediately jumped to them inducing you too early and the baby's lungs not being ready. Ella was born at 30 weeks 5 days according to my lmp but always acted and looked like a 26/27 weeker. She was over a pound smaller than she should have been which they blamed on iugr from my hellp syndrome but I am pretty sure some of it was because she was actually 29 weeker if we had corrected my due date.

[twotrue]

Feb 12, 2013 21:04:16 GMT -5 hensmum said:

Haha, some postpartum doulas do overnight work! But that'll cost ya

I asked about your O/insem date, because if it was CD14, then it's a moot point, and their new due date would be accurate. All of us who got pregnant with any kind of AI have/had "inaccurate" due dates - no one gets pregnant on CD1. If it was CD22, then you do really have a point.

After thinking about this and reading replies, I think what I would do is bring it up casually at the next appt, in a conversational way. Like, "Hey, can we talk about my due date? I want to try for VBAC and want to make sure I'm not considered 'overdue' before my time."

Also - I can come by sans toddler Weds or Fri while he's in school. Let me know if you're around

I'm so brain dead this morning, but can you clarify how my due date would be inaccurate just because of AI.  My cycle is super regular and I triggered on CD 12, with an insem on CD13.  Isn't that as close to text book as possible? My due date has been the same whether based on LMP, day of conception, or baby size.

[quinny]

Yes. According to my last menstrual cycle, I would have surged on CD 22 but it is completely incorrect. I was surging on day 14 for months, I always do. I was dead on with N and my water broke exactly on my due date. My period was early. I know because I TTC that month. I surged on day 14, like always and my period came super early (I even posted on FB about how the cycle was a bust and my period was early). Its crazy that they insist on going by a period, especially the first in years!! instead of the one day I had sperm in me. Gah.

Yes, SSG I don't to seem like I've gone over, because they can't induce me. My only option will be a c-section. All hell is going to break loose if they try to insist on a section, because they consider me a week late, on what I know is my real due date. I guess what I am trying to say, I want the option to go over.

I agree with TT. I would guess our due dates are more accurate, because we know for sure when we got pregnant. Why would they be less so with AI? My cycle is 28 days and I always surge on day 13 and inseminate on day 14.

[hensmum]

I say that we have "inaccurate" due dates because due dates are calculated as 40 weeks after your LMP, not 40wks after date of conception. No one inseminates/gets pregnant on CD1 aka date of LMP. So to those of us who KNOW what day we conceived (and using frozen sperm, we do, since it only lives in the body for 24hrs), our due dates can feel inaccurate.

What I'm saying is it doesn't matter if your period was the first in 10 years or the 10th in a line of regular ones. If you ovulated/inseminated on CD14 during the cycle that you got pregnant, then a due date based on your LMP is considered accurate. If you ovulated/inseminated on CD22 - then you are totally right, that your due date is too early.

Oh, internet - you make these conversations hard :-P

[twotrue]

Feb 13, 2013 12:09:11 GMT -5 hensmum said:

I say that we have "inaccurate" due dates because due dates are calculated as 40 weeks after your LMP, not 40wks after date of conception. No one inseminates/gets pregnant on CD1 aka date of LMP. So to those of us who KNOW what day we conceived (and using frozen sperm, we do, since it only lives in the body for 24hrs), our due dates can feel inaccurate.

What I'm saying is it doesn't matter if your period was the first in 10 years or the 10th in a line of regular ones. If you ovulated/inseminated on CD14 during the cycle that you got pregnant, then a due date based on your LMP is considered accurate. If you ovulated/inseminated on CD22 - then you are totally right, that your due date is too early.

Oh, internet - you make these conversations hard :-P

Okay, I'm on the same page, just needed to wake up a bit.  :-)

[joymseattle]

I would/did argue for a due date based on conception not LMO. My LMP was 11/2, insem date was CD 19 (11/20). We had an early ultrasound 8 weeks 6 days past insem where the baby estimated 8 weeks 6 days, but the OB said "give or take a week." I wouldn't worry about size variability too much, even though early pregnancy is more accurate than late pregnancy, our bodies almost always grow the right sized babies for us. For me, they "adjusted" my lmp and/or made a note of LMP and conception date and we joked about how accurate we knew the dating to be. I would be so mad with a health care provider that refused to honor my knowledge of my body over their dating system/rules.

My concern (especially planning to birth out-of-hospital) is that if my recorded EDD was off by almost a week it could impact our chances for the birth we want in terms of accuracy of the 37w0d-42w6d window most OOH midwives go by.

Best of luck!

[awkwardpenguin]

I would pitch a shit fit, basically. joymseattle summarizes my feelings more rationally.

With VBAC, do you know how long they'll let you go over your due date? I'd probably want both a correct due date AND the option to wait until 41 weeks (or even 42 if the baby is doing okay) for a c-section. I think knowing your options and arguing for things that might matter is probably better done now, because if it really comes down to it, you have the option to switch providers.

My sister was a VBAC homebirth back before everyone was all freaked out about VBAC. She was born on her due date. All the rigmarole about VBAC is part of the reason she chose homebirth, but I'm pretty sure most midwives won't or can't attend home VBACs anymore.