having a rough day

[potatopie]

DH is gone for three weeks, for family and for work. I've been busy, so that's fine. But yesterday was his brother's wedding (DH is the best man). Yesterday was also my sister's bachelorette party.

I talked to everyone on the phone - even video skyped with the bachelorette party for a bit (but it was early so they were just hanging around). But I guess it all got to me a lot more than I realized. I started crying on the way to work and cried again last night.

It just makes me realize all the things we have to miss living the way we do. And it scares me about TTC because i know that something which should only be good will be bittersweet because it'll mean missing more things like this.


ok, thanks for letting me share.

[crimsonandclover]

:-( I know how you feel. Sometimes the ex-pat life is just plain hard. I know this may sound cheesy, and it may not be true for everyone, but at least for me, I haven't felt it very much with DD. When she came into the world, I feel like she, DH, and I became our own family unit, and now our parents are our extended family, if that makes sense. So what has bothered me since her birth hasn't been that my parents have missed out on things, but that DH was working so much that he was missing out on things.
Still, though, it would be better if all of the grandparents could ooh and ahh over her more frequently.

[lolo]

I can relate to how you are feeling. Missing things back home really sucks, especially when it's someone you're very close to.

And I also hear you on the whole raising kids far away from parents. Maybe Crimson is right--I'll feel differently once I have a child--but right now, I just can't imagine it being okay to be so far away.

*hugs*

[clickerish]

Aw ;( I thought it was perfectly normal to see your family once or twice a year and have no real connection to them since that's what I grew up with, but now I sort of understand how my mother was feeling. Maybe you will have C&C's experience and find that you are more united?

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you're feeling blue we must have cried together 'cause I too bawled my eyes out yesterday (for work related frustrations) and it helped to let it all out. Not exactly ideal but releasing provides a bit of solace, at least.

I wish I could give you a bit of my non-homesickness to help you...
About the TTC situation, I agree with Crimson. I'm sure the instant your LO arrives you'll feel so complete that nothing will matter, not even how far you are!

Many many <<hugs>>

[popcorn]

I'm sorry.

I'm really feeling the distance too. Not just from my parents, but the life I left behind in Madrid.

Yesterday DH had a team-building thing which was basically a big, fun day off for him and I feel like even if I had a day off -- no baby or anything -- I have nothing fun to do here and no one to do it with.

I do agree with Crimson that I feel DH and I are our own family now and being so far away isn't too terribly difficult. I am more struggling with the whole move and feeling like I have no network here even though I'm trying.

I'm just in a whiney mood.

I hope your day gets better!

[dulcemariamar]

I am sorry Potato Pie. I hope you feel better soon. It sucks being so far away especially when you miss family events.

I don't have a baby yet but I understand your feelings about being hesitant about TTC when your family is so far away. That was always in the back of my mind, but when TTC fever hits, it wont matter as much anymore. I am sure your family will want you to live your life and be happy. And if that includes a baby, then great.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry

[potatopie]

Thanks guys. Jewels, you saying that we cried together actually did make me feel a little better : ) and made me a little misty eyed all over again. Crimson is probably right. And you guys being in similar situations always helps. It's nice to know. Just wish I could talk to DH. He's been travelling so we haven't talked properly in a couple days. Maybe tonight.



p.s. Dulce, did I miss an announcement??? Oh, great....now I'm crying again. Happy tears! don't worry! I just seem to be very emotional today .

[oneslybookworm]

I completely understand what you're saying, I feel like I'm at that point a lot too. Recently, it's been because I don't think I'm going to be able to make my best friend's little sister's wedding in August. Makes me sad, since her family is like my second family. Hang in there, it'll get better!

[centralperk]

I'm sorry :-( We've all been there, I think. I know I have. Have a good cry, and maybe watch a chick flick and eat some chocolate. Also, when I have days like this, sometimes I send an email to one or 2 of my closest friends and tell them how much I love and appreciate them and how I know it's hard to maintain a close friendship under these circumstances, but that I feel so lucky to have them. It makes me cry a lot but also makes me feel better afterwards. ((((hugs))))

[dulcemariamar]

Thanks!!! I hope you have a better week

[Deleted]

Isn't it better crying together? If you want we can cry a little again next Saturday

Jokes aside, don't be sad Potato, your loved ones know you carry them in your heart and I'm sure they're happy that you're leading a wonderfully exotic life, so enjoy it! 'k?



darn you typos!

[Deleted]

Andplusalso more <<hugs>>

[americaninoz]

and that's why this board is wonderful - because we all understand what you're going through!!!
I feel it terribly now that I have dd, my parents miss seeing her more often SO much
but it is what it is, so we just try to skype a lot
and I agree that sometimes a good cry helps too
I do agree with crimsonandclover though that I do like having our own little family unit - you just get used to doing it without much support, and it's still really great

[doctoranda]

I know exactly what you mean! Keeping busy helps me a lot. But yeah it sucks. Sending you good vibes and hugs!

[anna7602]

Everyone has already said what I was thinking. I just wanted to add that sometimes raising a child away from family is liberating. I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but DD and DH. But, maybe I just feel this way because my family is huge, has big expectations, and has some kind of event just about every other weekend. In the US, we were jetting off to weddings, baptisms and graduations all over the place, even when we were based in NY and the events were elsewhere.

My nephews are graduating from high school next weekend. I'm sad to miss the event itself, but if I were in the U.S., going would have meant finding a hotel near my brother's house or dealing with staying with my parents who live over an hour away from him. Plus, enduring a bunch of events that would be really boring for DD. Here, I think we're just going to do a weekend trip for fun next week and that seems much more appealing.

[potatopie]

Thanks a lot, everyone. The sympathy, advice, and perspectives from this board are a huge help to me.