WWYD about this work trip?

[HoneySpider]

I'm scheduled to go to a conference in Los Angeles in a few weeks. Trip has been booked for months and I, along with a cw, are doing a poster presentation.

I don't know if with everything that has been going on lately that I really feel like going, physically or emotionally. I'm sure that I could tell my boss I can't/don't want to go, but I'm having a really hard time deciding what to do.

Right before I went out of work for 2 weeks for the D&E, some crap went down at work that made me really upset/angry. This cw of mine, who I work closely with and considered a friend, basically went behind my back to our boss and fabricated a story to make me look bad and her look better. It was really shady and I was dealing with emails/texts about this literally the day before the procedure, which really upset me. Things have been a little weird with her in general lately, not sure if something happened that I missed, but she is definitely not talking to me as a friend at all. 

I am supposed to share a hotel room for 3 nights with this cw on the trip. This wouldn't have been an issue in the past as we have shared before, but I really don't know that I feel comfortable on a professional or personal level. 

Two other cw from another department are also going on the trip, not necessarily with us, but I am sure we will spend time with them. One of them I really, really do not care for.

Professionally, I don't feel like I will gain a whole lot out of the actual conference other than I'll get another presentation to add to my credentials. Not really a huge deal. I am trying to figure out if there really are any upsides to going. I've been to LA before so I'm not really excited about the location itself, but on the other hand, being able to travel is supposed to be one of the perks of my job and it would get me out of the office for several days.

Help me think this through....would you go as is, go only if you could get your own room (I don't know if boss will allow, but I am willing to ask), or not go?  

[soozy87]

If there was a way to get out of it I would not go.

[definitelyO]

it sounds like you don't want to go and if you really think there wouldn't be any negative ramifications for not going then talk with your boss. But, if you think this will make you look worse or stop potential growth within your company then I think you need to go. I would talk with your boss about not sharing a room - "in light of CW remarks to you regarding me a few weeks ago I don't feel that it would be appropriate to share a room"

[Deleted]

is there something considered more important than the presentation/conference you can focus on by staying? if so I'd approach your boss and say "I know this conference has been planned for awhile, however with recent events I've been thinking it may be a more productive use of my time for all of us if I cancel and focus on x."

If you can't say that, then I'd go but I'd tell boss what someone else said, with coworkers recent behaviour you will need to book your own room if he still expects you to attend.

[mbcdefg]

I personally would try to suck it up and go, and limit your non-business interaction with the people you don't like.

I'd also approach the boss and say something like, "Due to personal circumstances, I would really prefer to have a single room." Even if I had to pay out of pocket for it (that's obviously your call, but personally I'd be willing to spend my own money for the inner peace).

I'm sorry you had to deal with a bunch of crap all at once.

[ECB]

I would, at a minimum, try to get my own room.  The trip itself - I see no reason to not go, but I would NOT want to share a room w/ someone who stabbed me in the back. 

[vanillacourage]

I would go to the presentation but tell my boss that I needed my own room - and that if the company couldn't provide that, I'd pay for it myself.

Sorry "the hits keep coming" for you.  Hang in there.

[HoneySpider]

Not sure why I didn't think to check this before, but no rooms are available at conference rate...and regular rate is $100 more per night. I doubt boss will go for this since it will be ~$1k for 3 nights. Darn it. 

[vanillacourage]

Feb 19, 2013 11:30:48 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Not sure why I didn't think to check this before, but no rooms are available at conference rate...and regular rate is $100 more per night. I doubt boss will go for this since it will be ~$1k for 3 nights. Darn it. 

Can you switch to room with a different coworker?

[HoneySpider]

Feb 19, 2013 11:31:25 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Feb 19, 2013 11:30:48 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Not sure why I didn't think to check this before, but no rooms are available at conference rate...and regular rate is $100 more per night. I doubt boss will go for this since it will be ~$1k for 3 nights. Darn it. 

Can you switch to room with a different coworker?

One is bringing her whole family, only other one is a lady I dislike more than cw I am currently rooming with. Seriously there are not many people here I don't get along with, this is just a bad group on this trip. 

[Deleted]

Can you afford to pay the difference?

ETA: or maybe if you call the hotel they'll be willing to work out a better rate with you?

[HoneySpider]

I can't afford to pay anything for this trip so that's not an option....I have $7k in medical bills right now.

[chickens987]

Feb 19, 2013 11:30:48 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Not sure why I didn't think to check this before, but no rooms are available at conference rate...and regular rate is $100 more per night. I doubt boss will go for this since it will be ~$1k for 3 nights. Darn it. 

What kind of org is this? Is there a way to contact the conference planner - an email address or something? I am the meetings director for a large national association and I can absolutely secure someone a room at the conference rate even if they're all sold out. I would send an email, let them know that you were scheduled to share but because of a last minute change cannot and could they help you out. TBH, it is to the planner's benefit because it means they get more rooms occupied.

[HoneySpider]

Feb 19, 2013 11:37:24 GMT -5 chickens987 said:

Feb 19, 2013 11:30:48 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Not sure why I didn't think to check this before, but no rooms are available at conference rate...and regular rate is $100 more per night. I doubt boss will go for this since it will be ~$1k for 3 nights. Darn it. 

What kind of org is this? Is there a way to contact the conference planner - an email address or something? I am the meetings director for a large national association and I can absolutely secure someone a room at the conference rate even if they're all sold out. I would send an email, let them know that you were scheduled to share but because of a last minute change cannot and could they help you out. TBH, it is to the planner's benefit because it means they get more rooms occupied.

Yes, I am sure I can reach out to someone at the organization via email, thanks for the suggestion. I will probably talk with my boss first, see what she says, and go from there. 

[aspentosh]

Feb 19, 2013 11:10:23 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I personally would try to suck it up and go, and limit your non-business interaction with the people you don't like.

I'd also approach the boss and say something like, "Due to personal circumstances, I would really prefer to have a single room." Even if I had to pay out of pocket for it (that's obviously your call, but personally I'd be willing to spend my own money for the inner peace).

I'm sorry you had to deal with a bunch of crap all at once.

I agree with this. 

[kimibrighteyes]

Another option might be to stay at a cheaper hotel nearby

[vanillacourage]

Feb 19, 2013 11:32:58 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Feb 19, 2013 11:31:25 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Can you switch to room with a different coworker?

One is bringing her whole family, only other one is a lady I dislike more than cw I am currently rooming with. Seriously there are not many people here I don't get along with, this is just a bad group on this trip. 

I think it is sort of crappy of your company to stick you with someone you've had HR-level issues with recently, when someone else gets their own room because they're bringing their family. 

I would take this to your boss and see if you can problem-solve this together.  Maybe the company pays for you to have your own room at a nearby hotel and you pick up the tab for the taxi to/from everyday, etc.

[dr.girlfriend]

Ditch it. Enlist someone to put your poster up for you. If it's like my field you'll still get "credit" for having it there whether you are physically there or not.

[jennistarr1]

can you talk with your boss about your reluctance in going and see if they have any solutions?

[Deleted]

I'd probably go because the guilt of not going would drive me crazy. But see if you could get your own room. And hugs.

[livinitup]

"I was reviewing the conference schedule and it doesn't look like we need two people for the poster presentation. The company can save money if we only pay for one flight. I'm happy to go or opt out. If you want us to both go, I would prefer my own room. I called the promoter and we can still get the conference room rate."

[kwynn]

Feb 19, 2013 14:31:03 GMT -5 livinitup said:

"I was reviewing the conference schedule and it doesn't look like we need two people for the poster presentation. The company can save money if we only pay for one flight. I'm happy to go or opt out. If you want us to both go, I would prefer my own room. I called the promoter and we can still get the conference room rate."

This is said perfectly ^^^^

I think having to share a room on a business trip is so ridiculous. Especially with someone you don't like.

I run my own business and we always share on trips, but it's just me, you know, making that choice.

If it was a man and a woman going on the trip, they'd have to do two separate rooms---they're just being cheap.