Follow-Up Appointment

[discogranny]

I had my follow-up appointment yesterday. We had a genetically/structurally normal girl. The RE said this was likely a fluke and that the embryo had a growth issue or something that we can't test for. So basically, our miscarriage is unexplained just like our infertility. While I am glad it wasn't bad news genetically I was just really hoping we would finally, finally get some sort of answer about why this isn't working for us.

The RE offered the option of a RLP if we wanted it but said that with this being our first m/c it would be $3500-$4000 out of pocket since insurance won't cover it until three losses are recorded. He advised skipping it at this time but said if we have another loss, we will do it then. We deferred to his judgement here. On the bright side he said the two embryos we have frozen ended up being the best quality of the entire batch in the end. We are planning our FET for August, so hopefully we can welcome a May flower or two next spring.

[changedname]

I'm glad something good came out of the meeting, that's promising about the FET! Sorry there's no explanation for the miscarriage but at least that means it was probably random and unlikely to happen again?

How come you are waiting so long to do the FET?

[discogranny]

Feb 20, 2013 13:28:16 GMT -5 changedname said:

I'm glad something good came out of the meeting, that's promising about the FET! Sorry there's no explanation for the miscarriage but at least that means it was probably random and unlikely to happen again?

How come you are waiting so long to do the FET?

No medical or financial reason, I just need a break. We are going to do some vacationing and I will bike/run/drink tequila to my hearts content for the next little while.

If DH had his choice we would be calling the second AF shows up to start the process again. This is a flameful (and bitchy sounding) confession, but when he told me that I told him that he could spend the next four months abstaining from any "activity" on "pelvic rest", no drinking, no caffeine, no exercise, nothing to raise his heart rate above 120. Then we can find some sort of vitamin injections for him to do 51 times over six weeks, three times a day for ten of those days and he can also make regular visits to the urologist for some up close and personal time with his doctors hands, throwing in a colonoscopy so he doesn't miss out on the quality internal exam time. He decided he was cool with waiting.

[changedname]

Haha, I shouldn't laugh but that is a good one! I'm sure my dh would be the same if I put it like that! Honestly it was like getting blood out a stone (literally) to get him even to do his bloodwork. If he was the one who needed shots and bloodwork every day, we would be adopting or living childfree for sure.

[jewel]

I agree - probably some of the best news you could have gotten, given the situation.

I like your 'offer' to your husband. I always like to throw out - 'Are YOU bleeding from your genitals?' And that usually shuts down most complaints.

[mae141]

I'm glad you got some answers, even if it's not many. The testing after my m/c was all normal, too. I think it's good but also hard, because now I keep wondering if I did something wrong to cause it. I know that's irrational, but sometimes I think it would be easier to have a reason why. But then again I guess it's good they didn't find something bad.

And I love what you said to your H. Sometimes they can be so clueless.

[G22]

jewel Haha I use the bleeding out my gentials comment on my H too. It usually works quite well.

Disco, I'm glad to hear it wasn't genetic issues, but unexplained is frustrating too. You completely deserve a break from everything. I hope its a relaxing time for you.

[BNL2]

I love what you said to your husband disco. DH just did my trigger shot for me and he said "quit being a baby". I was like shut the hell up. You can barely swallow a pill without whining and I'm supposed to be all excited about a guy from IT giving me a shot. In what world does that not make someone nervous.

[KaraOrNot]

Sorry they couldn't give you more definitive answers. The unknown is so hard.

I am going to start crossing my fingers for your FET now.

[HoneySpider]

Ugh, it's so frustrating to not be able to find an explanation. So sorry you couldn't get an answer, but sounds like you have a solid plan moving forward. FX!

[genet313]

Feb 20, 2013 15:43:50 GMT -5 discogranny said:

Feb 20, 2013 13:28:16 GMT -5 changedname said:

I'm glad something good came out of the meeting, that's promising about the FET! Sorry there's no explanation for the miscarriage but at least that means it was probably random and unlikely to happen again?

How come you are waiting so long to do the FET?

No medical or financial reason, I just need a break. We are going to do some vacationing and I will bike/run/drink tequila to my hearts content for the next little while.

If DH had his choice we would be calling the second AF shows up to start the process again. This is a flameful (and bitchy sounding) confession, but when he told me that I told him that he could spend the next four months abstaining from any "activity" on "pelvic rest", no drinking, no caffeine, no exercise, nothing to raise his heart rate above 120. Then we can find some sort of vitamin injections for him to do 51 times over six weeks, three times a day for ten of those days and he can also make regular visits to the urologist for some up close and personal time with his doctors hands, throwing in a colonoscopy so he doesn't miss out on the quality internal exam time. He decided he was cool with waiting.

I think this sounds totally reasonable.  I can't even bring myself to start an IUI b/c I don't want to be bothered with 50 mg Clomid and an ultrasound.  Enjoy your break, take a rest and do FET when you're ready.  I hope it's successful!!!!!!!