Advice needed

[starfish]

   A little background, we have 2 kids, a 3 year old special needs, and a 16 month old. Special needs is Childhood Aprixa and has to do with speech, and a little bit of sensory disorder. 3 year old sees OT and speech theropist each week.

Last week 3 year old had Scarlet fever, We found that out after taking him to Dr who said Ear infection. We treated him, and week latter he broke out in a huge red rash. So we scheduled an apt for our 16 month old. It was over the weekend so we stayed in, didn't want to spread strep around. Over the weekend the 16 month old started to bruise. I know kids bruise on there legs, and elbows when starting to walk, but this was from foot to knee, all over her arms, head, and on her back. Never bruised like this before.

  I stayed at home, while my DH took the 16 month in. He came back in a panic that we were going to loose one of the kids. The dr was fine with all the bruising but the ones on her back. He told my dh that someone was hitting the baby. When my dh said no one hits, the Dr got rude, and said that wasn't a question. 
   He then went on a long speech about how our 3 year old was special needs, and maybe he was beating her. My dh had to push to get the Dr to order blood work, or to check to see if something was causing the bruising besides abuse. He finely sent an order for blood work, to check and see if something is wrong with her clotting, but we have to come back in a week, with our 3 year old to talk about the back bruises, and to check on the blood work.

 I wanted baby checked for anemia, I had as a kid, and would bruise from brushing against a pillow. Dr says anemia doesnt cause bruising, trauma causes bruises. He didn't want to check that, we both got the feeling that the Dr has made up his mind that our 3 year old is abusing the baby because he is special needs. He kept bring that up, and wouldn't listen that the sudden bruising started up this weekend. 


    We feel like the Dr jumped on the special needs = violent bandwagon, and ran with it. Our 3 year old knows not to hit, we don't hit, or spank. The only person in our household who hits, is the baby (at the smacking stage) but is learning we don't hit. 

  We are going to wait till Tuesday to see how baby's blood work turns out, then switching Drs.  My dh is so worried if we do that, the Dr is going to try to punish us by contacting child services, and wait a few months to transfer. I think as soon as Tuesday get the kids records, and get a new dr. 

[starfish]

   Just to add, Last weekend my sister babysat both kids, the 16 month didn't have a single bruise on her. She even took some pics, and you can see the baby's legs, and no bruises.

[livinitup]

I used to work with Child Protective Services. I don't want to alarm you, but the doctor has already called. He stated quite clearly that he thinks the child has been intentionally harmed in your home. So, he has a duty to report. You should expect a visit and investigation. Remain calm, this doesn't have to go badly. But you do need to be proactive and seek another medical provider RIGHT NOW to get answers and to have your concerns taken seriously. You should be calm and welcoming to the CPS worker and ask for assistance in getting referrals for medical care for your unique situation. If your child needs a specialist to diagnose the cause of the bruising then you need to find who does that.

Keep notes. Write down the name/number/agency of the case worker. Keep in touch and follow all medical and legal directives. This may seem very scary right now, but you can handle this. Your child needs you to be a strong and active advocate. You can do this.

[livinitup]

I saw your update on ML and am so glad that you got a proper diagnosis and the paperwork to document it. I agree that you should report the doctor to his licensing board. He was both unprofessional and incompetent. I hope your LO is well soon.

[fluffaluff]

I agree. I worked for CPS and if he has any concern, he's obligated, as any adult, to file a report. If they come within the next 3 days, just try to be calm, have them contact your babysitter, etc. investigators know what abuse bruises look like and I'm sure everything will be straightened out soon. In the meantime, find a new pediatrician ASAP.

[fluffaluff]

Ok scratch all that; just saw how long ago this was posted and that there's an update