Is this a thing?

[CheshireGrin]

I'm mildly irritated. I was more so, but I've talked myself down and I'll suck it up and do what I need to do to be a good friend.

I am a bridesmaid. My friend is not getting married for another year and a half. The bridal party is spread out all over the country, and most of us don't know each other. So the bride and groom have planned this bridal party get-together weekend this summer for us to all spend a weekend together and "have adventures!" Oh, and it's bridal party ONLY. Significant others are explicitly not allowed. So I have to give up a weekend of my life (which is tough enough) to travel out of state and spend a ton of money hanging out with people I don't even know, and then presumably have to do it all over again multiple times when it comes time to do actual wedding-related stuff like showers, bachelorette, and the wedding itself. (And this will not be an inexpensive trip. It's in a major city and the hotel alone is going to cost a fortune.)

I just don't really understand why we all have to spend a weekend together "getting to know each other" anyway. Am I just being a spoilsport, or does this seem weird and unnecessary to anyone else? I get that she's excited about getting us all together (she's getting married; of course she's excited!) but I have dark visions of the next year and a half of my life being taken over by this wedding. Ugh.

[melindafelinda]

That's super lame. I would be like... No.

[lightyears]

do not go. run far far away.

[EmilieMadison]

nope, that's fucking stupid. I wouldn't go.

I'm on my phone, don't expect much.

[LeggsBenedict]

I wouldn't go.

[Deleted]

I think that is ridiculous. I won't go. I also do not get the expensive bachelorette parties. I know people who went Mexico. I
Being in a wedding is expensive enough.

[melissa]

yeah good luck with that. Sounds like she needs to realize this is her wedding and she is the only one that is going to be overly excited for it.

[ralphlauren]

Ew..I would decline.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggh

[janegold]

I'd say no.

[10outof9]

I could see the bride wanting all of her bridal party to get to know each other (the whole "I want all my friends to be friends" thing). But to expect everyone to shell out a ton of money for this PLUS wedding-related events is ridiculous. You definitely do not have to go.

[luvvy]

Say no.

[shostakovich]

Someone needs to introduce your bride friend to Google+ hangout. You can have up to 10 people involved at a time, and voila! Everyone has met, and spent zero dollars.

[Deleted]

You can meet everyone the weekend of the wedding. Nope. Wouldn't go.

[CheshireGrin]

OMG you guys have just made me feel so much better! I have been feeling so guilty that I was being a bad friend and I was half-thinking that I would post this here and get flamed for not living up to my bridesmaid duties. I cannot tell you how happy I am that everyone else thinks this is as ridiculous as I do.

[underwaterrhymes]

You get to know the bridal party the weekend of the wedding. Or at the bachelorette party and / or shower.

This is absurd.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

That's asinine. These people aren't going to be lifelong friends. And really, why do you need to know about them other than their phone numbers/email addresses/names. I wouldn't go. And I wouldn't have any trouble saying why. She needs to realize that her wedding is important to her and you are happy to support that, but you aren't required to do anything other than buy a dress, show up, walk down the aisle, and go to the reception. The rest of the stuff is just extra niceties.

[CheshireGrin]

Feb 26, 2013 21:54:52 GMT -5 Que? said:

Ugh. I would totally do this for maybe one or two people but really, it makes no sense to me. She needs to understand that her wedding is just one more day in your life even if her life revolves around it.

Also factoring into my decision would be how many other pre wedding obligations you'll have. There's a lot of time between now and her wedding, I'm scared for you that this is just the first of many expensive events.

This is exactly where I am. If I knew it would be just this one trip, I would have a much easier time just doing it. But what makes me nervous is that if she's starting all this shit NOW, what else does she have in store for us later? She's going to be a very demanding AWish bride. There is no doubt in my mind about that.

[underwaterrhymes]

Haha.

You are so going to be wearing a butt bow.

[laddie]

I would say no. Just no.

[CheshireGrin]

Feb 26, 2013 21:58:26 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Haha.

You are so going to be wearing a butt bow.

This is not even funny. And I'm sure it will be a dress that we can all "totally wear again!"

[leahmel]

I wouldn't go. That's ridiculous, especially because you'll be shelling out plenty of money with the usual wedding stuff.

[underwaterrhymes]

Feb 26, 2013 22:03:09 GMT -5 CheshireGrin said:

Feb 26, 2013 21:58:26 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Haha.

You are so going to be wearing a butt bow.

This is not even funny. And I'm sure it will be a dress that we can all "totally wear again!"

LOL. I've been a bridesmaid I think 12 times.

I have never had a dress I could wear again.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Fucking hell, why are weddings so ridiculously big anymore? Oot bachelorettes, pre wedding lunches, you have to be BFF with the whole wedding party? Fuck. No.

[Jermys]

Yeah, I would have to miss that weekend. That sounds lame.

[vanillacourage]

Skip it. Tell her that you can't swing the PTO and still be able to make actual wedding festivities.

And also, start saving now for the destination bachelorette party, because she seems like the type to want one.

[Deleted]

It's going to be a loooooong 18 months.

Fake leukemia.

[pantsparty]

That's asking way too much.

[annyong]

Dude. No way.

[Deleted]

OMG. Decline, decline, decline.

And maybe get out of the bridal party all together? Lol.

I did that once. I loathe being a bridesmaid.