A relative is having a baby shower this weekend. I am not going because I have been studying for my certification test and have put everything' off. I need a day to catch up on homework and house work. My in laws never miss a free meal. My sister in law just texted me with a million questions about why I am not going. I told her the truth. I don't get what the big deal is its not their shower.
I don't even see the person who is having the baby. Haven't seen them in over two years. . They won't miss me. Trust me. I am sending a gift it sounds mean but that is all they want.
Yeah, I'm with melinda on this. My family would give me shit too if I missed a baby shower for this reason.
My MIL would not only question the shit out of me, she would make sure she told everyone at the shower I was not there because I wanted to catch up on housework.
Didn't you post about this before? I would try to figure out a way to go to the shower or maybe think up a better excuse next time.
My excuse is the truth I have a ton of homework and I honestly can't be in my mother in laws presence. None of the other cousins received an invite due to wrong addresses and being asked a week ago.
Yeah, I'm with melinda on this. My family would give me shit too if I missed a baby shower for this reason.
My MIL would not only question the shit out of me, she would make sure she told everyone at the shower I was not there because I wanted to catch up on housework.
LOL.
I don't think I'd hear it from my in-laws so much as my own mom. We don't actually live anywhere near relatives anymore, so I have more legitimate excuses for missing stuff like this now. But when we were close? I was at all of the showers.
Granted, I relish using happy family events to escape housework.
you get to say no .Showers are not weddings; they're lighthearted little parties, and you should be able to say no without the third fucking degree. Do what you need to do, and enjoy your day. I wouldn't go.
Post by wrathofkuus on Feb 26, 2013 22:29:27 GMT -5
How close a family member is it? That matters, I think. If it's someone you only see at funerals, weddings, and showers, I'd skip it. If it's someone you actually know well and see at holidays, go.
How close a family member is it? That matters, I think. If it's someone you only see at funerals, weddings, and showers, I'd skip it. If it's someone you actually know well and see at holidays, go.
Funerals, weddings and showers if at all. They rarely go to anything.
Didn't you post about this before? I would try to figure out a way to go to the shower or maybe think up a better excuse next time.
My excuse is the truth I have a ton of homework and I honestly can't be in my mother in laws presence. None of the other cousins received an invite due to wrong addresses and being asked a week ago.
1 week's notice, a relative you haven't seen in years, and a MiL you can't stand to be around? I'd have skipped, too. I wouldn't have given a reason, though. "Sorry! Love to, but short notice and I already have plans." They don't need to know the plans are housework.
1 week's notice, a relative you haven't seen in years, and a MiL you can't stand to be around? I'd have skipped, too. I wouldn't have given a reason, though. "Sorry! Love to, but short notice and I already have plans." They don't need to know the plans are housework.
I told the girl I called it was to short notice. I told my SIL that I had to catch up on homework and stuff around the house. My mil is very controlling and criticizes everything I do. None of the other cousins are going so I would have to sit with besides her and my SIL.
I think you need to listen to Sue, and learn to pick your battles with your MIL. You outed yourself here, so you have to live with them being annoyed. In the future, a "No, I can't make it. Thank you so much for the invite, I'll be thinking of you!" will suffice.
As far as your MIL goes, if you don't like her, you don't like her. If your H is ok with your level of involvement/non-involvement with his family that's really all you have to worry about. But, you MIL (or any of your ILs) only have as much control over your emotions as you let them. You need to work on getting to the point where you really don't care, as opposed to just saying you don't care (which it sounds like is where you're at right now).
1 week's notice, a relative you haven't seen in years, and a MiL you can't stand to be around? I'd have skipped, too. I wouldn't have given a reason, though. "Sorry! Love to, but short notice and I already have plans." They don't need to know the plans are housework.
I told the girl I called it was to short notice. I told my SIL that I had to catch up on homework and stuff around the house. My mil is very controlling and criticizes everything I do. None of the other cousins are going so I would have to sit with besides her and my SIL.
I fully understand. My MiL is a psychotic harpy. There would have to be a pressing reason TO attend if it meant spending close time sitting with my MiL. Funeral, yes. Shower of a person I rarely see? No.
I think you need to listen to Sue, and learn to pick your battles with your MIL. You outed yourself here, so you have to live with them being annoyed. In the future, a "No, I can't make it. Thank you so much for the invite, I'll be thinking of you!" will suffice.
As far as your MIL goes, if you don't like her, you don't like her. If your H is ok with your level of involvement/non-involvement with his family that's really all you have to worry about. But, you MIL (or any of your ILs) only have as much control over your emotions as you let them. You need to work on getting to the point where you really don't care, as opposed to just saying you don't care (which it sounds like is where you're at right now).
MH doesn't care if I go either way. I agree with the saying I don't care. I have to really not care. I just have had it with her trying to control everyone including MH. She controls my fil, SIL ad Bil it's bad. They do nothing without running it past her. They don't go to the store without her knowing. I can't deal with that.
I view showers as one of life's necessary evils. I hate them, but I go. Sometimes it really makes people feel good when you show up to their event, regardless of how often you see each other.
You sort of made your bed here when you told MIL why you weren't going. You need a better poker face with her.
She will get over and move on to something else to be mad at me about.