MY Dh and I got into a huge fight tonight. I can't get into too much but i am so fuking pissed at this guy. I love him and hate him right now. I left tonight at 7pm and got home at 10 30. My own fault i was hoping for a text call something that is all "I love you come home" NOTHING.
crib notes are that he says the house is a mess, goes on to some other things about ME personally that hurt me and i left. I went to my friends house. He didn't even care where I was or if I was okay. I came home several hours later and he is sound asleep. didn't even care.
Totally being an ass. He is having a legit hard time. Anniversary of his mom's death is a few weeks away. i am sincere and supportive. but he said something mean to me. I know out of anger but he is too stubborn to admit it. I am here on the oouch and he is sleeping soundly. I pray he wakes up and feels like shit about our arguement. Mean but whateve
Kuus bc I got home and Dh DD and DS are all in my bed. WTF I will be up in DD or DS's bed soon.
I don't want to get too into it but he said something along the lines of our house being filthy which pissed me off. our house gets "messy" but never filthy. that is insulting. He then commented that I don't shower every day. this is total paraphrasing but he was a douche ... I don't shower every day. I shower every other day. And is he saying I am filthy. FUCK YOU he says no. I say yes. I left, he didn't give shit. fucking fuck
I'm sorry. It sounds like he is upset with other things, like the anniversary of his mom's death, and rather than wanting to deal with those he is taking out his sadness anger on you. Not an excuse at all, just what I think is going on. I hope that you can make him see how wrong and hurtful it was of him to say those things and also get him to talk about what is bothering him so he doesn't have to resort to belittling you. ((hugs))
No honest I am not. He said something that hurt my feelings. I didn't want to be around him and ocntinue fighting, so I went to my friends house. I didn't go into details and I won't..but he owes me an apology and I guess i will be hard headed til I get that.
I'm sorry. It sounds like he is upset with other things, like the anniversary of his mom's death, and rather than wanting to deal with those he is taking out his sadness anger on you. Not an excuse at all, just what I think is going on. I hope that you can make him see how wrong and hurtful it was of him to say those things and also get him to talk about what is bothering him so he doesn't have to resort to belittling you. ((hugs))
I agree and I try to be super sensative to this as I know around the anniversa with her death, Mother's Day, her bday those are hard times. I feel ike I try to give him 100% understanding. but I can only take so much. Once you start being mean. yeah I shut down
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Feb 27, 2013 0:01:40 GMT -5
Aren't you on bed rest? Because, while the anniversary of his mom's death is shitty, he needs to step his shit up now. The health of you and the baby are way more important than anything else. Bed rest is so damn stressful, and he is going to have to accept that things are going to be different for a while. He needs to be there for you, and you sure as hell shouldn't be dealing with added stress or feeling the need to leave the house to avoid fighting.
I'm sorry. It sounds like he is upset with other things, like the anniversary of his mom's death, and rather than wanting to deal with those he is taking out his sadness anger on you. Not an excuse at all, just what I think is going on. I hope that you can make him see how wrong and hurtful it was of him to say those things and also get him to talk about what is bothering him so he doesn't have to resort to belittling you. ((hugs))
I agree and I try to be super sensative to this as I know around the anniversa with her death, Mother's Day, her bday those are hard times. I feel ike I try to give him 100% understanding. but I can only take so much. Once you start being mean. yeah I shut down
I think you are doing a fine job, him being mean is absolutely not ok, and I would shut down the same way. He really needs to figure out a way to grieve that doesn't involve hurting others. Has he gone to grief counseling or any support groups or anything? It sounds like he is still dealing with it, and needs to figure out how to do so in a healthy way.
Oh sloan {{{hugs}}} I am sorry you are dealing with all of this right now, and I am sorry that he was mean to you. I know how badly that hurts - I will pray that he apologizes for what he said, and realizes that he is wrong.
your H is being an ass. And to pick on you about things that you should NOT being doing (housecleaning) because you are on bed rest is crazy. Listen, I grew up with a mom who, while acknowledging that other things going on can make you lash out at people, it was in no way acceptable behavior. I feel the same way today.
When you talk to him, say something like "Look, I know you are having a hard time too what with my being on bed rest, you having to pick up more slack around the house and he anniversary of your mom's death looming, but that will never give you the right to be act like a complete jerk, use me as an emotional punching bag, and then never apologize. You said some incredibly hurtful things last night and I am telling you it is not acceptable."
And yes, i have had talks like this before with me H and found them to be quite affective. Being a person's wife does not mean that you allow yourself to be treated in a manner that is simply not right. And next time, missy, you take your ass up to YOUR bed and leave him to deal with the kids alone. Lock the door if you have to.
I went to her house and laid on her couch. I can do things but I can't be at work all day, can't work out, no lifting anything heavy. I had to get out of this house.
He hasn't done grief counseling, and he hasn't as of yet apologized. He doesn't think he did anything wrong.