Hypothetical job loss

[pinkplasticdoll]

If your H/so were to hypothetically be on the verge of losing his job would you want to know? Would it be fair if he didn't want to tell you because it would stress you out more than you currently were?

Think stressed out to the point of already losing hair and weight, not sleeping or eating.

[jax373]

I would be angry if he didn't tell me.  Even if it stressed me out, I would like to know ahead of time that losing the job is a possiblity.  Better to have time to plan for it happening.

[partiallysunny]

I would want to know. It wouldn't be right for him to keep something like that from me, no matter how stressed I might get.

He would just be delaying the stress reactions anyway. What's the difference if I loose my hair and not sleep today or two weeks from today?

[Deleted]

I would want to know. HUGS. Is everything okay PPD?

[wrathofkuus]

I'd like to be there for him whike he worries about it, yes, but I could understand if he didn't want to add to my stress in that case.

[pinkplasticdoll]

Oh everything is fine but it was just a conversation that came up this weekend with friends. I was just curious what TIP thought about the topic.

[motzie]

I would want to know. Even with the stress of it, I would want to be prepared, start scaling back spending, etc. I get where he is coming from, but it's not fair for him to make that decision for you.

[macmars45]

Yes I'd want to know. We're a team and we made decisions together. Like scaling back on spending and finding a cheaper place to live. I'd be really pissed if H didn't tell me no matter his good intentions.

[fussbucket]

I'd want to know, especially if we lived together and/or shared finances/living expenses that the SO was responsible for. Where finances are concerned, it's important to be able to consider appropriate contingency planning together, and consider what steps can be taken now to offset the impact of a loss or reduction in income sometime in the near future (increasing emergency savings, putting off major purchases, etc.).

But in the grand scheme, if weighty matters like these can't be a shared burden amongst a couple, then what's even the point of having someone in your life to lend support in difficult times? For the partner who's already stressed out, their responsibility is to take any additional steps needed to address the impact of their own stress on their lives -- seeing a doctor, therapist, calling EAP, whatever. There's more to being an adult in an adult relationship than just losing your goddamn shit all the time, even when times seem more difficult than usual.

[sillygoosegirl]

Yes, I'd want to know. However, DH is very over confident. I doubt he'd even realize it if he was on the verge of losing his job, which would make it hard for him to tell me about it ahead of time.

[PinkSquirrel]

I would want to know. G hid money problems back when we were finishing up college and had he told me I would have been able to help before he dug himself a hole. I was far more pissed of later when I was helping him dig out of the hole.

[Deleted]

My husband did this one time I was livid. He was on the verge of being laid off and then he got a different position. He called me to tell me he got the other position. I was like "what position" that was years ago and he says he didn't want me to stress out. I was completely stressed with life at that point and my mom had just had her stroke so it was a tough time. He thinking wasn't mean or anything but just not correct. He knows he has to share that stuff with me.

[starrieskies]

I would want to know, for sure. I would be pissed if H didn't share something that could impact our family so significantly!