Gay people kissing = uncomfortable for kids?

[papie]

FB WTF of course. 

The government of Quebec issued those anti-homophobia TV ads, where you see someone texting "I'm coming my love" and then the guy arrives and the two guys kiss.  Link here: www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/ministere/dossiers/homophobie/homophobie-a.htm

A FB friend (girl I knew in HS) posted something along the lines of "eeeeeeeeeeeK, the anti-homophobia ads!  I have nothing against gays, but it is hard to explain to your 6yo who says "What's THAT, mom?".  Really? It is not like we see them naked in bed doing the deed or something...Why would the 6yo be horrified? My 5.5 yo asked me last week if she can marry her girl best friend.  I said yes, of course.  Aren't they at the age where it shouldn't be horrifying? Me thinks the mom is the one who is horrified seeing two men or two women kissing, not the kid. 

[Deleted]

Mar 5, 2013 15:40:36 GMT -5 papie said:

FB WTF of course. 

The government of Quebec issued those anti-homophobia TV ads, where you see someone texting "I'm coming my love" and then the guy arrives and the two guys kiss.  Link here: www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/ministere/dossiers/homophobie/homophobie-a.htm

A FB friend (girl I knew in HS) posted something along the lines of "eeeeeeeeeeeK, the anti-homophobia ads!  I have nothing against gays, but it is hard to explain to your 6yo who says "What's THAT, mom?".  Really? It is not like we see them naked in bed doing the deed or something...Why would the 6yo be horrified? My 5.5 yo asked me last week if she can marry her girl best friend.  I said yes, of course.  Aren't they at the age where it shouldn't be horrifying? Me thinks the mom is the one who is horrified seeing two men or two women kissing, not the kid. 

ding ding ding! I was actually thinking this before I read it. The kid isn't uncomfortable, the mom is. 

[Wrath0fKuus]

Kids think that adults kissing each other is kind of yucky in general, don't they?

[gidgety]

From what I remember as being a 6 year old is that almost all kissing made me uncomfortable - because of the cooties. So yeah - it's the mom that has the issue.

[Jermys]

Edith's bestie's moms kiss in front of the kids. Not like tongues or anything, but on the lips if one of them is leaving. So far, all kids are normal.

[papie]

Mar 5, 2013 15:45:32 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Edith's bestie's moms kiss in front of the kids. Not like tongues or anything, but on the lips if one of them is leaving. So far, all kids are normal.

I hope you realize your daughter is going to catch the gay. 

[melindafelinda]

I was horrified seeing anyone kiss on tv until I was like 10. I used to cover my eyes with embarrassment. Especially in front of my parents.

[peachykate]

Cooties! I remember that's what I used to think about anyone kissing.

[papie]

I watched a lot of greek movies as a kid. Let's just say there was a lot worse than kissing.   My parents didn't really worry too much about ratings and all that.  Naked boobs were all over the place.  

[winnied]

My boss made a similar statement and it made me sad.

[Deleted]

[speckledfrog]

I have found that people who say they have difficulty explaining being gay to their kids are the ones who have issues with it. There is nothing hard about saying, "Oh, those two people are kissing because they are in love" and responding to "Two boys/girls can kiss each other" with "Yep."

[meggers5]

What could you possibly have to explain other then 'those two men love each other and one way to show it is a kiss'.
I saw my aunts kiss when I was a kid and I'm pretty sure I survived.

[mrssandro]

My 3 year said EWWWWWWWWW! when I kissed DH the other day. So now we do it just to annoy her. She loves giving and getting kisses from us but we aren't allowed to kiss.

[Deleted]

It's as if they expect the kids to start asking about scissoring or sword clashing right there.

Fortunately kids are perceptive/smart/awesome/loving/open enough to just focus on the love part and innocent enough to gag at the cooties part (hetero or homo!).

[thebamker]

Mar 5, 2013 15:44:38 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

Kids think that adults kissing each other is kind of yucky in general, don't they?

pretty much. I was cracking up b/c my daughter was horrified to learn that when you get married, you kiss each other in front of EVERYONE!!!  AHHHHHHHH!  lol

[karmasabiotch]

Kids know what their parents teach them.

[vanillacourage]

My DS1 is 4 and is totally grossed out by us kissing. He's all "GUUUUUUYSS.........!"

Honestly though I would love it if an ad like this aired and my kid asked about it. We live in the burbs and there just isn't a lot of diversity for him to ask about, to spur conversational teaching moments.

[speckledfrog]

This came up all the time when I taught in MA. I swear we talked about gay marriage at least once a week (we didn't bring it up but they were always talking about who they were going to marry when they were older). My favorite altercation between two of the kids went like this

Boy A: When I grow up I am going to marry Boy B
Boy B: You can't marry a boy!
Boy C (two moms): Yes you can!
B: No
C: Yes
back and forth like this for a bit
B: My mom and dad said that you can't
C (with righteous indignation): Well, at my house YOU CAN

I had another interaction with a mom in that same class who was upset that I told her son that two boys/girl could get married (which, in MA, the can). She went on to say that her brother way gay and that she was okay with it but that she didn't want to bring it up to her kid just yet. Guess what lady? If you want your kid to have a certain belief then you jolly well start teaching it early. If you want to teach him that gay marriage is bad that's your prerogative but don't get miffed at me when I state a fact.

[Wrath0fKuus]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jrngYNGNeE

[thebamker]

well - I don't consider myself a homophobe, but I also don't entertain the idea that it's an option right now.

Meaning - if we're talking about their future as adults, I won't go out of my way to say "someday you'll get married and he, OR SHE, will blah.blah.blah."

Someday they will ask me and I'll explain it to them. At this point, I just keep it simple.

[lime]

We moved to SF when I was 4 and were there for about 3 years.

One time I was downtown with my mom and said to her, "Why did that man just grab the other man's butt?" My mom's response was "Well, they love each other."

I'm sure she was mortified by the honking portion, but I think she handled it well otherwise.

[StormyDixon]

my bil is gay, has been in a 10 year relationship with his partner. the 4 younger kids are 13, 12, 10 and 8, so of course this is all they know. one day when the 10yo was 8 she said "it is wrong for two men to kiss" we asked where she heard that and of course it was from her biological mother.

we simply explained that they love each other just like dad and I do and that is why they kiss. that answer was good enough for her

[Deleted]

Lol and Speckled, then don't live in a state where it's legal and there is a high number of same-sex families.

Idiot.

[sushi]

What's that, mom?

That's two people who love each other sharing a kiss. Like mommy and daddy.

Done. I don't even have kids.

[papie]

Mar 5, 2013 16:21:14 GMT -5 thebamker said:

well - I don't consider myself a homophobe, but I also don't entertain the idea that it's an option right now.

Meaning - if we're talking about their future as adults, I won't go out of my way to say "someday you'll get married and he, OR SHE, will blah.blah.blah."

Someday they will ask me and I'll explain it to them. At this point, I just keep it simple.

I am not THAT PC to say "your future husband or wife". But she asked and I just said yes like it is nbd. And that was the end of the conversation.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Kids really complicate things. I don't even know that I'd think to be careful in my speech about assuming they'd marry, well, anyone at all, especially when not really thinking about it, just talking about "when you grow up." There are so many norms that kids learn just from casual speech, it seems.

[lime]

Good catch, Kuus. It's like people telling me when I grew up I was going to be a mommy, etc. and I always knew that I wasn't going to have children.

[Deleted]

Kuus, I tend to think it's easier to do damage w your casual speak than it is to do good.

As in -- it's easier to NOT use the duplicity Bam is talking about (saying "If you marry, your husband or wife...") and still have a loving open adult come from that upbringing, than it is to go around saying f-g and slurs and use hate speak casually and still have a loving open adult come from that upbringing. I think watching your casual speak is important w kids but more as a "what to avoid."

There's a lot to say about what gets put into the subconscious -- about what seems more normal, and what is still accepted/loved/tolerated and yet separate from the norm. Personally I'm going to try to make homosexuality seem just as much the norm as heterosexuality as I can, and am lucky I live in a nice little bubble for that.

[Deleted]

Mar 5, 2013 15:44:59 GMT -5 gidgety said:

From what I remember as being a 6 year old is that almost all kissing made me uncomfortable - because of the cooties. So yeah - it's the mom that has the issue.

This