This makes me irrationally mad

[anna7602]

I am PMSing. I know I am getting worked up about stuff that doesn't matter.

I've lived here for five months and have to yet to find a babysitter. People get recommended to us by acquaintances, DH's co-workers, etc. and then it turns out it won't work because they want us to commit to a certain number of hours per week or because we live in the "wrong" neighborhood (people won't travel, even if we offer to pay for cab fare) or because they don't do evenings, just days, etc. etc. etc.

I'm the one doing all these phonecalls and vetting. Why? Because I am the one who speaks French. And I am the one who meets random people through yoga classes, DD's extracurriculars, etc., whom I ask for new reco's. Add that to the annoying list of crap-only-I-can-do-that-I-wish-I-could-delegate-to-DH.

I FINALLY set up an interview for this Friday. It's a friend of a very good friend from home. I have a good vibe. I was hoping that if it went well, we could ask her to babysit almost immediately. So what happens? DD is invited to a birthday party that afternoon by one of DH's coworkers.

FFS!!! Of all days. And since DH is at work, I have to take her to the party. (Skipping is not an option since I know DD will have a fabulous time playing with other bilingual kids.) So I had to cancel the babysitter interview and now she's not available at all any other time this week.

And I want to throw DH out the window for not being able to interview the babysitter himself or being able to take DD to the birthday party. While I'm at it, I'm mad that he hasn't found a babysitter for us by now and magically set it up so I could just go on a date with him without putting any effort into it.

I realize this is unfair. I realize I am hormonal. I realize I am upset that I have way too much shit to get done this month before DD is off for the summer and that part of my fantasy was that this woman would be able to do some afterschool sitting so I can work, too.

[oneslybookworm]

Oy, I'd be upset too. It's hard when it all falls on one partner, especially because of language issues. Hopefully this person will be a great babysitter and it'll work out soon!

[clogged]

Crap. I would be cheesed off in your shoes WITHOUT being hormonal. It sucks when it all falls on one person.
{{ big hugs }} and {{ vats of wine }}. Oh and {{ babysitter vibes }} of course!

[Cheesecake]

I'd be angry without PMS-ing. I'm insanely mean when it comes to sharing responsibilities though, I'd probably make DH take the afternoon off work to deal with his share of the responsibilities. And he can make up from that work from home (thus staying home and taking care of DD) while I go out and drink wine with friends.

Don't have children yet, but in situations where I feel we should have a shared/mutual responsibility (like a child FFS) I get really mean and bitchy to make sure responsibilities are actually shared.

Many good babysitter vibes to you though!!!!

[crimsonandclover]

Yeah, that would make me really pissy, too, PMS or not. If I'm stuck with doing things because of language, then I would make sure DH was picking up the slack in other areas.

[Deleted]

That sucks.
I guess it's about balancing priorities: is it more important to take the child to the birthday party (sorry, I don't know how old she is) or interviewing the babysitter?
Still sucks though.

[popcorn]

That blows.

:@ to things that get in the way of plans!

I hope you get to meet the babysitter soon and that she is a perfect fit

[Deleted]

That sucks and is frustrating even without PMS! If you need an emergency night out with your H, I might be able to babysit.

[Deleted]

This may be an absurd suggestion but could you have the person come to the party? Obviously if it is at someone's house that might be awkward or if it were a complete Internet stranger not a great idea but since it is a referral and if the party is in public it might work?

Also in Amsterdam we used a babysitting agency. It wasn't an brick and mortar place but a young Dutch woman with a great mind for business who wanted to make a bit of extra money. She got a group of her college girl friends together and people would call her and she would coordinate with one of her group of friends who could do it. The next thing oh know she has turned it into a full time business! She screened all her girls and hired another girl to help coordinate. She use to charge a small fee per call but now she charges on flat fee per family per year (kind of like a membership).

I totally think my blue could do this in Paris . And it is obviously needed by the expat community. But that is another topic isn't it?

[anna7602]

Jun 5, 2012 12:22:08 GMT -5 @myblue said:

That sucks and is frustrating even without PMS! If you need an emergency night out with your H, I might be able to babysit.

Thanks, my blue! We don't get many "emergencies," but a couple of things have come up where we just have to tag team and go separately, like when a friend of mine had a book reading/signing a couple of weeks ago (when you were in Germany, actually!). I was on pins and needles until the last minute worrying I'd miss the event because of DH's work schedule. I hate that.

But, given the angst I feel toward DH today, maybe I'm experiencing a date night emergency now!

[Deleted]

By emergency, I meant more an emergency you can plan in advance (say, at least a week or so)and that you really needed an evening out for your sanity, not necessarily a real emergency