WWYD if your H became a woman?

[froggy76]

I'm surprised so many people would try to stay married. I'd be pissed that we've been living a lie and I'd only stay "friends" for DD's benefit. Also, I don't think it's possible to undergo this sort of physical change without a personality change.

[Nonny]

I really don't know... I love my husband for who he is, but I'd definitely have a hard time with it and I'd probably feel betrayed.

[wife2dj]

As much as I love him, I would leave him. To me sex is a huge part of marriage, and without that I don't know how I would feel.

[KaraOrNot]

I really don't know. I want to say that I would stay, but I don't think that I could. I would hope that we would remain best friends.

[Deleted]

It would be over, & though I want to say I would try to stay friends, idk that I could. I would be really sad, & mote than a little bitter our marriage had been a " lie ".

[fluff]

I'd probably peace out, but try and remain friends. 1) I am not interested in messing with female equipment and 2) I don't think I could ever get used to DH being a woman.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 14:22:59 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

It would be over, & though I want to say I would try to stay friends, idk that I could. I would be really sad, & mote than a little bitter our marriage had been a " lie ".

How would it have been a lie? What if your DH really loved you and wanted to be with you, even as a woman? How is that lying about your marriage?

If anything, I'd think that the DH in this situation would have reason to be bitter and feel the marriage was a lie. He may really have thought that you were together for better or for worse and feel that you were the one lying if you dump him once something changes..

(sorry to pick on this quote, I know others said the same too)

[iamgrace]

I'd be out. I would remain friends, and I would love him/her, but I wouldn't remain in a marriage with him/ her.

[Deleted]

Um, I would leave. He would still be my best friend but I can't stay as his wife.

[wino55]

Well, I would think we would still be friends. Pretty sure married life as I know it would be over.

[max88]

I don't really know what I'd do, I'd have to actually be in the situation. I will say, stay or go, I could care less how people would perceived me or the relationship.

[wanderlustmom]

I don't know but he's my best friend so I think I would try. And I would definitely find a way to coparent our kids with him, he's a great dad. But I agree I don't know if it would be successful. I would also need lots and lots of therapy.

[Deleted]

Deal breaker. I get the sentiment of, "I love the person he is," but really, this is a no brainer for me. I married a male. Any change in that is unacceptable.

[niemand88f]

There's is a fascinating blog on this very subject, I think it was shared on P&CE a few weeks ago. A 'Quiverfull' fundie couple realizes the husband identifies as a woman, and the wife is a lesbian, and they worked through it and stayed together. ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com/2012/04/unwrapping-onion-introduction.html

[futurepivko]

May 12, 2012 0:19:39 GMT -5 agnes said:

I don't think MH would make an attractive woman.

Neither would mine. *Shutter*

[Robot Jen]

May 12, 2012 14:57:37 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

How would it have been a lie? What if your DH really loved you and wanted to be with you, even as a woman? How is that lying about your marriage?

If anything, I'd think that the DH in this situation would have reason to be bitter and feel the marriage was a lie. He may really have thought that you were together for better or for worse and feel that you were the one lying if you dump him once something changes..

(sorry to pick on this quote, I know others said the same too)

I agree with buckybells. I could not view my marriage as being a lie. Just because my SO theoretically would want to become a woman doesn't mean he didn't love me any less or that he necessarily regrets our marriage.

I wouldn't have as much problems with the change in equipment as I would personality. A whole new identity, a new social scene, hormone therapy, surgery can all change someone's personality, and I don't know that I could stay married through all that. But I'd give it a try.