Are You Mom Enough? Time Magazine @

[Deleted]

Hello! Can't access the article without a Time subscription but here's the story from the Bump:




What Do You Think of TIME’s Attachment Parenting Cover?
By: Sarah Yang
Photo: Martin Schoeller / TIME

Did you check out the new cover of this week’s TIME Magazine? The cover story takes an in-depth look at attachment parenting and the controversy surrounding it. The personal history and legacy of Dr. William Sears, the father of attachment parenting and writer of well-known parenting guide, The Baby Book, is documented and explored. Attachment parenting, according to Dr. Sears, involves 7 “tools:” birth bonding (close attachment with your baby after birth), breastfeeding, babywearing (carrying your baby in a sling or baby carrier), sleeping close to baby (co-sleeping), belief in the language value of your baby’s cry (responding to baby’s crying signals), beware of baby trainers (be discerning of parenting advice) and balance (keeping a balance in parenting and your relationship with your partner.)

As for the cover itself, 26-year-old mother of two, Jamie Lynne Grumet from Los Angeles is pictured breastfeeding her almost four-year-old son. Grumet is a big proponent of attachment parenting and has two children (an adopted son and a biological son). She told TIME that she understands the critics who question extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting, but believes it’s a normal parenting style: “They are people who tell me they’re going to call social services on me or that it’s child molestation. I really don’t think I can reason with those people. But as far as someone who says they’re uncomfortable with this, I don’t think it’s wrong to admit this. But people have to realize this is biologically normal. It’s not socially normal.The more people see it, the more it’ll become normal in our culture. That’s what I’m hoping. I want people to see it.”

[meshaliuknits]

The cover photo really does it's job. It immediately had my attention. I hope to heaven that kids friends don't find that when he's in HS, though.

May 10, 2012 11:06:52 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

belief in the language value of your baby’s cry (responding to baby’s crying signals)

Um, don't all parents do this? Or is this a degree thing?

[Deleted]

I'm very interested in attachment parenting and can loosely say I support it but I don't know how I feel about breastfeeding a four year old. It weirds me out. I want to be accepting but that picture is weird.

[EllieArroway]

May 10, 2012 11:14:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

I'm very interested in attachment parenting and can loosely say I support it but I don't know how I feel about breastfeeding a four year old. It weirds me out. I want to be accepting but that picture is weird.

I agree. I kind of consider myself AP and I BF'ed my son until he was 18 months, but I just can't imagine BFing a 4 year old. Even now that my son is 2, I can't imagine BFing him anymore. There has to be a point where you cut them off, and IMO it's before they turn 4...

[karinothing]

I will gladly bf till 4 if I can get her body by doing it

[Deleted]

Personally, I'm a big fan of the "Are you mom enough?" headline. Because, really, how better to celebrate motherhood during the week of Mother's Day than by asking Mom if she's truly doing her best.

Sorry I'm cranky, but I am so sick of all the mothering/motherhood crap that's been showing up in blogs and articles all over the place. 95% of them are judgmental shill and I'm over it.

[myst]

May 10, 2012 11:16:53 GMT -5 EllieArroway said:

May 10, 2012 11:14:44 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

I'm very interested in attachment parenting and can loosely say I support it but I don't know how I feel about breastfeeding a four year old. It weirds me out. I want to be accepting but that picture is weird.

I agree. I kind of consider myself AP and I BF'ed my son until he was 18 months, but I just can't imagine BFing a 4 year old. Even now that my son is 2, I can't imagine BFing him anymore. There has to be a point where you cut them off, and IMO it's before they turn 4...

Yeah, my 4 yo could tell me "Mom, I feel like this boob is running a little low. Let's switch." And that's just not something I can deal with.

[Deleted]

I really despise the overabundance of the word bonding. Yes, because unless we become fucking buttbuddies with Dr. Sears' version of good parenting, it means my kid won't have a good bond with me.

This does not, however, explain why pinky constantly wants to come hang out with me while I bathe.

[nerdicorn]

I don't give a shit if it's offensive, this completely weirds me out. I also have some serious issues with attachment parenting though, too. Dr. Sears seems like a total quack to me.

[meshaliuknits]

May 10, 2012 12:06:30 GMT -5 @writergal49 said:

Personally, I'm a big fan of the "Are you mom enough?" headline. Because, really, how better to celebrate motherhood during the week of Mother's Day than by asking Mom if she's truly doing her best.

QFT

[pugz]

he looks WAY older than 3, my first guess was he was 5 or 6!

[h]

In general, I am bothered by the notion that people are either attachment parents or not. Almost every parent I know does some things that are in line with attachment parenting, and other things that are less so. Good parents take the aspects of any parenting philosophy, use what works for them, and ditch the rest and move on. The idea that it is all or nothing is just silly.

I do think the cover is, um, attention-grabbing to say the least. I have been nursing a baby since August 2007 and am currently still nursing my 25 month old, but I still did a bit of a double-take at the cover. I will say, though, that 4 years old is beyond my personal comfort level (for myself, not for others). I am ready for my kid to wean and am actively encouraging it.

[karinothing]

May 10, 2012 13:29:08 GMT -5 @domerjen said:

the cover and title is inflammatory. no one who identifies w/ attachment parenting does it so they can be "mom enough". lame. surprisingly, i've never seen anyone nurse while posing like that, either.

Domer I posted a reply to your PAC post on the Nest board, but I am not sure you read it. I wanted to let you know that you can get some info from opensecrets.org and the rest from the FEC webiste. It will tell you who they give to and who gives to them. But that is about all the info you can get.

Sorry to hijack this thread!

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 13:38:47 GMT -5 h said:

In general, I am bothered by the notion that people are either attachment parents or not. Almost every parent I know does some things that are in line with attachment parenting, and other things that are less so. Good parents take the aspects of any parenting philosophy, use what works for them, and ditch the rest and move on. The idea that it is all or nothing is just silly.

I do think the cover is, um, attention-grabbing to say the least. I have been nursing a baby since August 2007 and am currently still nursing my 25 month old, but I still did a bit of a double-take at the cover. I will say, though, that 4 years old is beyond my personal comfort level (for myself, not for others). I am ready for my kid to wean and am actively encouraging it.

Your kid is two. YWIA~

[nerdicorn]

May 10, 2012 13:45:15 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

May 10, 2012 13:38:47 GMT -5 h said:

In general, I am bothered by the notion that people are either attachment parents or not. Almost every parent I know does some things that are in line with attachment parenting, and other things that are less so. Good parents take the aspects of any parenting philosophy, use what works for them, and ditch the rest and move on. The idea that it is all or nothing is just silly.

I do think the cover is, um, attention-grabbing to say the least. I have been nursing a baby since August 2007 and am currently still nursing my 25 month old, but I still did a bit of a double-take at the cover. I will say, though, that 4 years old is beyond my personal comfort level (for myself, not for others). I am ready for my kid to wean and am actively encouraging it.

Your kid is two. YWIA~

Thank you. I almost responded but still fear the cries of, "you're not a mom, you don't get it!"

[h]

May 10, 2012 13:47:18 GMT -5 nerdicorn said:

May 10, 2012 13:45:15 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Your kid is two. YWIA~

Thank you. I almost responded but still fear the cries of, "you're not a mom, you don't get it!"

Um, sorry? I had no idea this was an issue for people one way or another, but I am happy to abandon the practice if it is.

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 13:52:29 GMT -5 h said:

May 10, 2012 13:47:18 GMT -5 nerdicorn said:

Thank you. I almost responded but still fear the cries of, "you're not a mom, you don't get it!"

Um, sorry? I had no idea this was an issue for people one way or another, but I am happy to abandon the practice if it is.

DD is 30 months today and I dont care if that sounds weird

[Deleted]

Attachment parenting is just one more way of oppressing women.

[bugandbibs]

I'm all for anything that normalizes breastfeeding for masses. I have had so many people telling me I should wean DD2 starting when she was 4 months old. I'm tired of hearing other people's opinion on what we do. I *gasp* still BF my 12 month old AND pump when I am at work so it's what she gets in her sippy cups too.

The picture is shocking, but I'd rather see that than Xtina's boobs hanging out of her dress for the billionth time.

[mrshandy]

Some of the posts in this thread are pissing me off. I think people should do whatever works for your family. As long Mom and baby are happy, then people should mind their own business.

To me, the cut off point is until the child or mom wishes to stop and in cultures where pressure is not put on Moms to wean, this is usually between 2 and 6.

The child is 3 in that picture and yeah it's controversial.

DS is 22 months and we're still happily nursing and will do so until it's no longer working for us.

[redheadbaker]

The local NBC affiliate posted the cover on Facebook and asked what their fans thought. One posted that breastfeeding after baby is 10 months old should be considered child pornography.

[thejackpot]

I think Time is awful for doing this the week of Mother's Day- more division and my way is better crap.

[h]

May 10, 2012 14:35:17 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

I'm all for anything that normalizes breastfeeding for masses.

I am, too, but I am not sure that this picture does that. It was obviously selected for its shock value, and while it may provoke discussion, I doubt it will do much to normalize breastfeeding. Most moms don't and won't nurse until their kids are 4. I think pictures moms nursing their babies and toddlers in normal poses would do more to normalize breastfeeding than a picture of a mom nursing a preschooler who is standing on a stool while she assumes a hot model pose.

I am also not convinced that breastfeeding is really seen as that abnormal by the masses. I've done it. Most of my friends have done it. Everyone I encountered when I was a new mom told me to do it. In several years of nursing kids, often in public, no one has ever criticized me or asked me to stop. From my experience, the idea that the world is somehow hostile to breastfeeding moms can be a bit overblown.

[msmerymac]

May 10, 2012 14:19:25 GMT -5 @septimus said:

Attachment parenting is just one more way of oppressing women.

Is this just a spin-off of the militant feminist "breast feeding oppresses women" theory?

[sporky]

May 10, 2012 15:15:51 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

On my Local mommies board, there are some women that are dry nursing their 6 year olds. Isn't that just called sucking boobies?

what in the world? what, pray tell, is DRY nursing?

[meshaliuknits]

May 10, 2012 15:15:51 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

On my Local mommies board, there are some women that are dry nursing their 6 year olds. Isn't that just called sucking boobies?

Why? What's the point?

[Deleted]

To be honest, I can't think of a reason you need to breastfeed an older child in public. I realize this makes me a hosebeast but really, by the time the kid has passed their second birthday, you should be able to pass them a wheatgrass smoothie and tell them to wait until we get home.

That being said, I don't see the reason to legislate it either.

[meshaliuknits]

I'm not sure I want to click on that link

[msmerymac]

I'm fine with extended breast feeding, but you'd better believe I judge dry nursing.

[UMaineTeach]

I believe that there are better ways to bond with a preschooler than breastfeeding.