if you woke up a man tomorrow morning

[lightyears]

what are the three s's? i assume one is sex.


um. i would apply for a job and get paid much more money because i have a penis!

and i'd go out somewhere at night and not have to worry about something happening to me. also because i have a penis.

[pantsparty]

Pee on all of the things!

[pantsparty]

Oh wait. I'd do that penis slapping thing Jason Segal did in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." That looks like fun!

[underwaterrhymes]

If I was still pregnant, I would definitely freak out.

I'm starting to worry about a baby fitting through the hole I have, let alone a penis.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2013 17:22:25 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Jack off!

Yep.

[vamoose]

Thinking about being a man makes me feel all squirmy. I suddenly have a lot more sympathy for trans people.

[bonquiqui]

I would take a lovah

[lightyears]

if i was a man tomorrow i'd probably tuck it between my legs and do that vagina thing.

because i'd want my vagina back.

[TrickyBob]

Mar 19, 2013 17:25:49 GMT -5 lightyears said:

what are the three s's? i assume one is sex.


um. i would apply for a job and get paid much more money because i have a penis!

and i'd go out somewhere at night and not have to worry about something happening to me. also because i have a penis.

Shit, shower, and shave. 




I would fondle myself, then I would try to swing it around like a helicopter, then I would find some snow and pee my name into it. 

[wannabe]

Totally whack off.

[kcr1972]

I would spend my morning figuring out just how is it they get anything done without their balls getting in the way. I can not imagine having something just dangling all willy nilly like that and then get tucked in without it hurting. Then I would probably practice using the flap on my underoos because I am so jealous they get to stand in public restrooms. And sleep so I can wake up with wood.

[elleblue]

Cry. I've never wanted to be a guy, not once.

[Marle]

It's no surprise men are obsessed with their penis!

[Deleted]

Wait, do guys actually use the little flap on their underpants? Because I'm pretty sure my h just stands there with his junk hanging out.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2013 17:25:49 GMT -5 lightyears said:

what are the three s's? i assume one is sex.


um. i would apply for a job and get paid much more money because i have a penis!

and i'd go out somewhere at night and not have to worry about something happening to me. also because i have a penis.

Shit. Shower. Shave.

[TrickyBob]

I'd also like to throw in annoying my Husband. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times he has walked around the house with his penis hanging out of the little flap and his zipper asking me to "tuck it back in". Like...no.

I would totally chase him around with my penis and ask him to tuck it back in my pants and stupid shit like that.

[speckledfrog]

Mar 19, 2013 17:22:25 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Jack off!

Yep!   

[Saint Monica]

I guess what I would do would depend on who I was as a man. Am I chuck norris or rick moranis?

[rex]

Mar 19, 2013 17:51:58 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

I'd also like to throw in annoying my Husband. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times he has walked around the house with his penis hanging out of the little flap and his zipper asking me to "tuck it back in". Like...no.

I would totally chase him around with my penis and ask him to tuck it back in my pants and stupid shit like that.

LOL. This is the best option.

[kcr1972]

Mar 19, 2013 17:47:04 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

Wait, do guys actually use the little flap on their underpants? Because I'm pretty sure my h just stands there with his junk hanging out.

Mine says he does when he is out in public at a urinal. I didn't ask why. I assume its a cootie shield

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2013 17:51:58 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

I'd also like to throw in annoying my Husband. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times he has walked around the house with his penis hanging out of the little flap and his zipper asking me to "tuck it back in". Like...no.

I would totally chase him around with my penis and ask him to tuck it back in my pants and stupid shit like that.

Oh man. Yes. Or go around leaving talc dustings all over his shit in  the bathroom because I just need to talc my balls. Oh, payback would be awesome. 

[bluetopaz]

Watch "Puppetry of the Penis" and try to copy all the moves.

[TrickyBob]

Mar 19, 2013 17:58:45 GMT -5 @ygmg said:

Mar 19, 2013 17:51:58 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

I'd also like to throw in annoying my Husband. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times he has walked around the house with his penis hanging out of the little flap and his zipper asking me to "tuck it back in". Like...no.

I would totally chase him around with my penis and ask him to tuck it back in my pants and stupid shit like that.

Oh man. Yes. Or go around leaving talc dustings all over his shit in  the bathroom because I just need to talc my balls. Oh, payback would be awesome. 

I'll admit, I'd try to mushroom stamp him or teabag him. He's never done those things to me but man, I have to get the most use out of it while I'd have it. 

[elleblue]

Mar 19, 2013 17:59:54 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'd cry. I don't want to be a man, even for a day, even to know what it feels like. shuddddder.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who'd have this reaction. I was beginning to think I was weird.

[leahmel]

I would cry too. I am very happy to be a woman. lol

[CurlyQ284]

Mar 19, 2013 18:10:27 GMT -5 elleblue said:

Mar 19, 2013 17:59:54 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'd cry. I don't want to be a man, even for a day, even to know what it feels like. shuddddder.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who'd have this reaction. I was beginning to think I was weird.

I never thought about it but I am in this camp too. That would be awful.

[Deleted]

Mar 19, 2013 18:14:11 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Get a blowjob.

This and then pee!

[auntie]

Scratch my nuts because that's what all the men I know do first thing.

Then I'd dress in random mismatched clothing, fart and eat 3500 calories daily without gaining weight.

[cheeseandcrackers]

shave my whole body

[lissaholly]

I have thought about this now.  I would probably spend a lot of time building up to hitting my nuts.  I would need to know how it felt so I could, with authority tell my DH " it is not that bad" when he goes all fetal because DD accidentally bumped him there.  I think I am an unfeeling sadist.