First?!

[meshimeshi]

I think this is all quite ridiculous. The only reason the topic was brought up was because some members of our community, who I believe should all have an equal say regardless of post count!, were choosing to not post here anymore because they were struggling with the number of @ posts. These are people who are one of us and that most of us do care about which is why the suggestion to make a baby board was even brought up. The majority of us could care less if you post your @ posts on the other board. Sure the non-moms don't care about strollers, but it goes both ways. I am sure some of the current moms don't care about strollers. Just because I don't care about it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask the question about it. UW didn't start the poll because she was sick of seeing your stroller posts. She started the poll because members of our community were leaving because they emotionally cannot deal with the @ posts. It's entirely different. Jennlin, you do not get emotionally distraught when people post wfd posts or wine posts.

The only reason many of us were on board with the sub-board is to help those people stick around because we care about them and want to know what's going on in their life. Also, I didn't suggest making a list of what was acceptable and not, I said, I wish there was a way we could do that. But my point was obviously there is not. I was just trying to find a compromise and get everyone happy.

I think it's ridiculous that some of you are saying, well since you don't want me to ask questions about which hospital is best than I just won't even post anything at all on this board. Did you think about how the people who are emotionally troubled by the @ posts are feeling now? "Well I really liked Jennlin, but now since she only posts on the baby board, I will never see anything that's going on in her life...."  These people may be only a small percentage of our board, but personally, I do care about all of them and telling them that their feelings are invalid and they should just leave is ridiculous and incredibly insensitive and selfish. I really don't see how posting baby stuff here and non-baby stuff on the other board is that hard if we are doing it because we care about everyone in our community. This is the same thing that would have happened on TN. You would have come to the Seattle board to post about personal things and then go to your baby month board and talk about all of the other things that you would get more responses from.

I'm sure you will come back and say that you think it's insensitive that I say you shouldn't post about your baby things on the main board because that's your life and it's selfish of me to tell you not to post those things about your life. But again, I bring it back to the fact that the reason this was even discussed was because of the people who deal with infertility and have emotional reactions to all of the baby posts.

It is what it is. If you think it's just much "too hard" for you to post in two different places then so be it. But I think the way that some of this is being handled is just absurd and I am so blown away that something like this has happened on our board.

[jennlin]

Mar 24, 2013 10:30:31 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

Andplusalso, you're just being lazy about changing between the two because you are mad. It's not THAT hard.

yes. you're right. it's not *that* difficult...i'm just lazy. but me being lazy *because* i'm mad? no. definitely not. mad? yes. but i don't need any incentive to be lazy-that comes natural to me. i've never been a regular multi-board poster because i'm lazy to keep up with two boards.



so here's what bugs me. the seattle board was never a "safe-place" for infertiles, or those who do not want kids.....i don't believe anyone was ever "insensitive" to those who did not want kids. we even "warned" them with the @ symbol when there were posts about kids coming. it's simple to scroll past those and find whatever post you want. but to ask a "bulk" of the posts to start being posted on another board is ludicrous. in a real-life situation, if people in a room were making you uncomfortable--do you ask them to bring their conversation elsewhere? or do you remove yourself from the situation? do you tell them that they can only stay in the room if they're not talking about kids? we are not in the waiting room of an infertility clinic. if a group of people feel that way, they were welcome to start a non-kids board...but instead, you're pushing people away who were already in the room, already talking about kids.

and if we're really wanting to push the mundane posts, but only come back for the exciting ones, how is THAT sensitive to those who are struggling? i'm sure they just love to hear that someone is feeling kicks, having twins, or got pregnant.

everyone has mundane posts...does every single one on this board *really* care if someone stayed up late last night, missed the bus, didn't eat well yesterday, has an annoying coworker.... no. but we all read (or skim, or skip), and ignore it if we have nothing to say about it. i don't understand why the same can't be done for baby posts, especially when they're already easily-marked (see, we're being sensitive) with @ symbols. maybe there should be a symbol for other things to skip?

@sounderschick, when you say i'm being insensitive, are you saying moms (or those who post about kids) don't have feelings? when we are told "your life is boring, does not relate to me, or i have no interest in reading it, you go somewhere else"......you don't think *that* hurts?

[larzhope]

This whole thread/topic just gives me the sads. I understand where you're coming from JL, but I obviously stated my opinion earlier that it felt like it was getting a bit much on the other board.

based on your previous posts in this thread, though, I don't really feel like my opinion matters because I'm a non-breeder (by choice, but still), and because I don't have high post counts...

I don't know if there is an easy solution for this one, especially for questions that people are asking before they are telling IRL folks that they are pregnant. you guys would be who I would come to for advice before I'd be ready to let the cat out of the bag publicly (and most likely after).

I miss you posting on the main board, JL, for whatever it's worth. It saddens me that I won't be able to interact with you real-time because I'm not planning on having kids, but I did think the amount of @ posts (and repeat @ posts for that matter when we clearly have a search button) was getting hard to sift through.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2013 8:43:01 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 24, 2013 10:30:31 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

Andplusalso, you're just being lazy about changing between the two because you are mad. It's not THAT hard.

yes. you're right. it's not *that* difficult...i'm just lazy. but me being lazy *because* i'm mad? no. definitely not. mad? yes. but i don't need any incentive to be lazy-that comes natural to me. i've never been a regular multi-board poster because i'm lazy to keep up with two boards.



so here's what bugs me. the seattle board was never a "safe-place" for infertiles, or those who do not want kids.....i don't believe anyone was ever "insensitive" to those who did not want kids. we even "warned" them with the @ symbol when there were posts about kids coming. it's simple to scroll past those and find whatever post you want. but to ask a "bulk" of the posts to start being posted on another board is ludicrous. in a real-life situation, if people in a room were making you uncomfortable--do you ask them to bring their conversation elsewhere? or do you remove yourself from the situation? do you tell them that they can only stay in the room if they're not talking about kids? we are not in the waiting room of an infertility clinic. if a group of people feel that way, they were welcome to start a non-kids board...but instead, you're pushing people away who were already in the room, already talking about kids.

and if we're really wanting to push the mundane posts, but only come back for the exciting ones, how is THAT sensitive to those who are struggling? i'm sure they just love to hear that someone is feeling kicks, having twins, or got pregnant.

everyone has mundane posts...does every single one on this board *really* care if someone stayed up late last night, missed the bus, didn't eat well yesterday, has an annoying coworker.... no. but we all read (or skim, or skip), and ignore it if we have nothing to say about it. i don't understand why the same can't be done for baby posts, especially when they're already easily-marked (see, we're being sensitive) with @ symbols. maybe there should be a symbol for other things to skip?

@sounderschick, when you say i'm being insensitive, are you saying moms (or those who post about kids) don't have feelings? when we are told "your life is boring, does not relate to me, or i have no interest in reading it, you go somewhere else"......you don't think *that* hurts?

You seriously don't get it. This is not about our lives being boring, not relating to other people because they are anything but boring and there is always someone it won't relate to. This is about keeping a community that once had a strong bond with ALL it's members from dwindling down to nothing. I have gone to sleep crying because I come here wanting to post about something I'm struggling with and all I see are posts about something that I want again but because of medical conditions I'm terrified of having again. I read BFing posts and feel like a fucking failure all over again because I couldn't do that. You used to care about everyone in this community but now that we have a moms board you feel attacked because you didn't want it.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 10:09:24 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

You seriously don't get it. This is not about our lives being boring, not relating to other people because they are anything but boring and there is always someone it won't relate to. This is about keeping a community that once had a strong bond with ALL it's members from dwindling down to nothing. I have gone to sleep crying because I come here wanting to post about something I'm struggling with and all I see are posts about something that I want again but because of medical conditions I'm terrified of having again. I read BFing posts and feel like a fucking failure all over again because I couldn't do that. You used to care about everyone in this community but now that we have a moms board you feel attacked because you didn't want it.

but when did this become a support board for those who can't/won't/don't have kids? it was never titled "seattle-safe-zone-for-those-who-don't-want-to-talk-about-kids".

there *are* support groups for that. there's a board for that on GBCN, it's called "child free thoughts", or if you must, you can create a new board..like "IBD support group" which is new and started about a month ago, they all share a medical condition and decided they wanted their own board.

why is it right to kick out existing posters because they're making you uncomfortable? if you're uncomfortable, and don't like the posts you see here, there are other places to go. instead, you're doing the same thing as pushing the native americans onto reservations. if the board made you uncomfortable, a "seattle-safe-zone" board should've been created, because we've never had one of those before, and would've been a change of pace.

i do care about everyone in the community. if you had an issue, i would've supported you--that's what we do on this board (until recently, when moms were judged for posting too often). i have several friends/family that couldn't BF. what makes you think this board would've judged you? and there *has* been times in the past when i've seen you post about your struggles with BF. and i KNOW i have comforted you and told you it's not your fault. so because of your insecurity, i'm not allowed to post about something i'm proud of? that's a huge part of my life? because if that's the case, i don't want to see anyone post about their kids STTN, because mine definitely does not. and that's a struggle i have...i haven't consistently slept in more than 2 hour stretches for almost 2 years. but when people talk about good sleep, do i tell them to stop talking about it? no. i get envious, but move on.

[meshimeshi]

Mar 25, 2013 10:30:49 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 25, 2013 10:09:24 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

You seriously don't get it. This is not about our lives being boring, not relating to other people because they are anything but boring and there is always someone it won't relate to. This is about keeping a community that once had a strong bond with ALL it's members from dwindling down to nothing. I have gone to sleep crying because I come here wanting to post about something I'm struggling with and all I see are posts about something that I want again but because of medical conditions I'm terrified of having again. I read BFing posts and feel like a fucking failure all over again because I couldn't do that. You used to care about everyone in this community but now that we have a moms board you feel attacked because you didn't want it.

but when did this become a support board for those who can't/won't/don't have kids? it was never titled "seattle-safe-zone-for-those-who-don't-want-to-talk-about-kids".

there *are* support groups for that. there's a board for that on GBCN, it's called "child free thoughts", or if you must, you can create a new board..like "IBD support group" which is new and started about a month ago, they all share a medical condition and decided they wanted their own board.

why is it right to kick out existing posters because they're making you uncomfortable? if you're uncomfortable, and don't like the posts you see here, there are other places to go. instead, you're doing the same thing as pushing the native americans onto reservations. if the board made you uncomfortable, a "seattle-safe-zone" board should've been created, because we've never had one of those before, and would've been a change of pace.

i do care about everyone in the community. if you had an issue, i would've supported you--that's what we do on this board (until recently, when moms were judged for posting too often). i have several friends/family that couldn't BF. what makes you think this board would've judged you? and there *has* been times in the past when i've seen you post about your struggles with BF. and i KNOW i have comforted you and told you it's not your fault. so because of your insecurity, i'm not allowed to post about something i'm proud of? that's a huge part of my life? because if that's the case, i don't want to see anyone post about their kids STTN, because mine definitely does not. and that's a struggle i have...i haven't consistently slept in more than 2 hour stretches for almost 2 years. but when people talk about good sleep, do i tell them to stop talking about it? no. i get envious, but move on.

I just want to say that I hate this new board and the drama that it has caused....and I hate the way some people are reacting because of it.

However, the only people who created a new board are the two mods. I can't create a board and neither can Sounders....If you felt this strongly about it, then maybe you should have pushed it more and waited before creating the new board?

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 10:42:01 GMT -5 meshimeshi said:

However, the only people who created a new board are the two mods. I can't create a board and neither can Sounders....If you felt this strongly about it, then maybe you should have pushed it more and waited before creating the new board?

1) i was away the day the board was voted on and created. spun had requested the sub board before i even saw the clicky.

2) i don't blame her for it, though. i've always "ran" the board democratically, i've never thought of it as "my" board, i've always solicited opinions and put things to vote. the vote showed one thing. i'm upset, but even if i was the only mod, i would've requested a new board for everyone, and still be pissed about it. it's never been "my" board, always "our" board.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 11:52:49 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Did I miss part of that thread? I don't remember anyone wanting to kick people out of the Seattle group. I also don't remember anyone saying they never wanted to see any @ posts in there. I am not always good at reading the whole thing so maybe I missed it.

I personally think if folks that are uncomfortable with any @ at all are probably not the right people for the Seattle board. If they were the only reason the sub broad was created then I would have been against it. I do however think that there is a middle ground. I don't think one person needs to create a crapton of @ posts in a single day which was happening. I would say the same no matter if it was @ or not to be honest. When a single subject takes over a broad it isolates people...

And since everyone is a backseat mod... I would for now, delete/hide the subboard, bring everyone back and WORK IT OUT TOGETHER. But maybe my post count isn't high enough to get an opinion...

i pretty much agree with this.

paragraph 1) i missed the initial drama. i don't even remember what day this started, i was gone W/Th/F in class.

paragraph 2) exactly. if the board wasn't right for you, find a different home, don't change the one that already exists. nobody should post any one topics 15 times..instead of voting them off the island, though, there should've been a conversation. madDawg228 was usually pretty good about starting new posts to break it up.

paragraph 3) your post count definitely "counts". my issue with post count was that we didn't know *who* was voting...lurkers shouldn't get an opinion because they don't participate anyways and can definitely go find a new home to pass their day. people who actually participate should vote.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 11:35:37 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

So don't blame jenn if you need a scapegoat. Blame me.

1) i would've done the same thing, i don't blame you. i would've been pissed about it, but i would've created a new board because that's what people wanted.

2) i do think it's unfair that meshimeshi threw up her hands and said "blame the mods"...because spun/me/themods were just doing what the board wanted.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2013 10:30:49 GMT -5 jennlin said:

I just have to interject that I find this comparison really objectionable. An online discussion forum is not equitable to genocide followed by forcibly moving a native peoples from their ancestral land. Online forum of less than 2 years =/= hundreds/thousands of years and racism.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 12:07:47 GMT -5 @ksta said:

Mar 25, 2013 10:30:49 GMT -5 jennlin said:

I just have to interject that I find this comparison really objectionable. An online discussion forum is not equitable to genocide followed by forcibly moving a native peoples from their ancestral land. Online forum of less than 2 years =/= hundreds/thousands of years and racism.

it's exaggerating/sarcasm. difficult to read in an internet forum.

however, i disagree that we are "less than 2 years", because most of this group has been together since 2008/9-ish.

[Deleted]

I know the drama has been created, and the feelings upset left, right, upside down and purpleways of the board, but is there a way we can try to repair this? Can we try hiding this subboard for awhile, or if not hiding it (since there might be topics you want to reference), no one post here for a bit and EVERYONE try going back to the other board? I'm going to create a thread on the main board with this same question.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2013 12:09:15 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 25, 2013 12:07:47 GMT -5 @ksta said:

I just have to interject that I find this comparison really objectionable. An online discussion forum is not equitable to genocide followed by forcibly moving a native peoples from their ancestral land. Online forum of less than 2 years =/= hundreds/thousands of years and racism.

it's exaggerating/sarcasm. difficult to read in an internet forum.

however, i disagree that we are "less than 2 years", because most of this group has been together since 2008/9-ish.

Sigh, this is why the interwebz NEEDS an official sarcasm font!

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 12:16:06 GMT -5 @ksta said:

I know the drama has been created, and the feelings upset left, right, upside down and purpleways of the board, but is there a way we can try to repair this? Can we try hiding this subboard for awhile, or if not hiding it (since there might be topics you want to reference), no one post here for a bit and EVERYONE try going back to the other board? I'm going to create a thread on the main board with this same question.

it'd have to go to vote again, but just because i'm not posting on the main board, i don't think people will care enough to want to read about diapers. i'm fine with my new home, as long as people stop acting like it was a good thing, and that it was not discrimination.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 12:17:52 GMT -5 @ksta said:

Mar 25, 2013 12:09:15 GMT -5 jennlin said:

it's exaggerating/sarcasm. difficult to read in an internet forum.

however, i disagree that we are "less than 2 years", because most of this group has been together since 2008/9-ish.

Sigh, this is why the interwebz NEEDS an official sarcasm font!

[catbus]

It's not discrimination. Reproductive status is not a protected class.

And that's besides the fact that this is an Internet message board, not an actual public forum (in the true, legal sense of "public").

[georgeharrison]

Mar 25, 2013 11:35:37 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

Mar 25, 2013 10:42:01 GMT -5 meshimeshi said:

I just want to say that I hate this new board and the drama that it has caused....and I hate the way some people are reacting because of it.

However, the only people who created a new board are the two mods. I can't create a board and neither can Sounders....If you felt this strongly about it, then maybe you should have pushed it more and waited before creating the new board?

I should interject here. The creation of a board was my initiative and not jennlin's. I did it based on the votes that were happening and what the majority seemed to want. I probably jumped the gun and I take responsibility for that.

That said, I don't doubt that whether a new board was created or not, we would have had the same drama. People were passively leaving anyway and passively not posting as frequently cause they felt shut out by the sheer number of @ posts. They were finding other places to post cause the Seattle board was no longer a home for them to post at. The babya post is what ignited it, but it wouldn't have been the last of those kinds of: oh right, what happened to <fill in name>.

So yes, I take responsibility for the fact that I jumped the gun on asking Ellie to create a new subboard given the sheer number of votes for a new board were so high. I also don't think we would've avoided this drama in the short term anyway. But in retrospect, it should have been done in a much more methodical fashion, but going back now and wiping the slate clean and creating a subboard the 'right way' doesn't seem to be a very likely option now as well.

So don't blame jenn if you need a scapegoat. Blame me.

Well crap!  I hate that I'm associated with this at all.  I don't think I made a big deal about not being around...and I didn't leave for good. I was just having some personal, emotional trouble with the @ posts and needed to work through it away from the board.  I really don't care either way about the sub board, and I really hope that no one thinks that I'm trying to change the board to be a "safe zone" for me.  I understand that I'm not the only one having problems, but I really want to be removed from the equation completely.  Can we do that, please?  I feel really guilty like me being MIA for a little bit has created this drama.  I get that the Seattle board posters have moved the way of baby-hood, and that's cool.  I just needed a break.  I never complained about the board evolving into this.  I actually totally get it.  I also know there is way more to this than anything that has to do with me. 

[georgeharrison]

I know what you were trying to say and I don't think that you were calling me out. Really. I just kind of feel like the unintentional instigator. I feel guilty for that.  Can we just erase the past week from the board?

Btw, me + babybunnyspun = (heart)  So cute!

[jennlin]

georgeharrison in NO way is this your fault at all.....other than we missed you! i think what you did was "right"...you didn't like the way the board was going, so you took a break....you didn't try to change people, posts, or vibe. you felt uncomfortable, you removed yourself from the situation. the way a normal functioning person would in the real world. i think you are a prime example, and if others felt the same, they should follow your lead.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 13:09:29 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

Mar 25, 2013 13:02:40 GMT -5 georgeharrison said:

I know what you were trying to say and I don't think that you were calling me out. Really. I just kind of feel like the unintentional instigator. I feel guilty for that.  Can we just erase the past week from the board?

Btw, me + babybunnyspun = (heart)  So cute!

You did nothing wrong.  I noticed you were gone, mentioned it, someone mentioned you weren't posting b/c of the @ posts, which started the conversation.  You definitely never made a big deal about not posting or asking for a sub-board.  I feel like others who just don't like @ posts used your leaving as a reason to justify a sub-board b/c they just don't like @ posts.  At least that's my impression.

By the way, feel free to post @ posts about T-man here all you like here!  Or avoid this board if you want.  Either way. 

this. exactly. especially the part about georgeharrison being welcome to post here, or not. completely up to her! no discrimination based on reproductive status on this board.

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 13:05:54 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

I am glad to have a place where I can post @ posts to my hearts content w/o being judged. I am sensitive to those who @ posts truly upset, but from what I can tell, that was very few people. Also, that was the whole point of the @ warning -- if you don't want to read @ posts, don't.

I know some people are fine w/ @ posts, so long as it's not too many or mundane details about registries and strollers. What rubbed me the wrong way was that it appeared to me a very large portion of the board wanted a sub-board b/c they don't care about pregnancies or kids, it's annoying, and they don't want to hear about it. That is the part that I didn't like.

I will still lurk on the main board and post if I have something completely non-@ to post. But, I'm not posting anything @ related there at all. I don't want to have to decide what is OK and what is not, who will be uspet, who won't, etc. I know many of you think the line is clear, but it seems that that "clear" line is different to a lot of people.

this.

[llh0211]

A couple things... Yes, there were the @ indicators to show that it's about kids/babies/pregnancies.  But I would imagine, if someone was struggling with it, seeing @ all through the first page of the board could be difficult.  I am not one of those, just trying to put myself in someone elses shoes...

For me, personally, the @ posts were annoying, but not that big of a deal.  I would think that having the sub board to post any and all questions @ related without being judged, or wondering if there were too many already would be beneficial to the moms.  It's been expressed by a few people that they felt bad when they had a question, and hesitated asking, as they didn't want to flood the board with those questions.

I get that there's hurt feelings, and that you feel we "kicked you out", and there was discrimination.  I'm sorry, and I'm sure that was not at all the intent of the board.  Post where you want, don't post... whatever.  I know I'll still pop over here to see all the cute Seattle Nextie babies & hear about them.  Because I DO care. 

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 13:22:40 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

I get that there's hurt feelings, and that you feel we "kicked you out", and there was discrimination.  I'm sorry, and I'm sure that was not at all the intent of the board.  Post where you want, don't post... whatever.  I know I'll still pop over here to see all the cute Seattle Nextie babies & hear about them.  Because I DO care. 

</3

[llh0211]

Mar 25, 2013 13:28:01 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 25, 2013 13:22:40 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

I get that there's hurt feelings, and that you feel we "kicked you out", and there was discrimination.  I'm sorry, and I'm sure that was not at all the intent of the board.  Post where you want, don't post... whatever.  I know I'll still pop over here to see all the cute Seattle Nextie babies & hear about them.  Because I DO care. 

</3

A broken heart?  I think I'm confused... 

[jennlin]

Mar 25, 2013 13:30:04 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

Mar 25, 2013 13:28:01 GMT -5 jennlin said:

</3

A broken heart?  I think I'm confused... 

oh oops, i thought i clicked heart. so much for trying to be fancy. i normally just do <3

(heart)

why is a broken heart even an option? =P. my bad.

[llh0211]

Mar 25, 2013 13:36:13 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 25, 2013 13:30:04 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

A broken heart?  I think I'm confused... 

oh oops, i thought i clicked heart. so much for trying to be fancy. i normally just do <3

(heart)

why is a broken heart even an option? =P. my bad.

Ha!  I was so confused.  That makes more sense. 

[meshimeshi]

Mar 25, 2013 12:07:44 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 25, 2013 11:35:37 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

So don't blame jenn if you need a scapegoat. Blame me.

1) i would've done the same thing, i don't blame you. i would've been pissed about it, but i would've created a new board because that's what people wanted.

2) i do think it's unfair that meshimeshi threw up her hands and said "blame the mods"...because spun/me/themods were just doing what the board wanted.

No, that's not what I meant to say. I just feel like you keep saying that "we" as in the non-moms kicked you out and told you not to post there and basically forced the board onto you. I was just tossing the coin back in your direction. I'm not trying to be rude, but when you accuse us of that, we can do the same and I really feel like you, JL, are one of the ones who is having the biggest problem with this. I mean I do too, but in a totally different way. I hate all of this arguing and the way that people's comments are being taken negatively and all the finger pointing and back and forth, back and forth. I feel like everything has been blown out of proportion.

Also, I do feel like spun jumped the gun on starting the second board. I am not saying that this is her fault, because I think she did the right thing as well. But I feel like it was created very early on in the voting just because the poll was 22 to like 6. However, once we got into the actual discussion phase of it, it started to become, and even more so now, that most people DO NOT want the board. I understand that majority rules and that's why Spun created it, and that is really no fault to her. I really am not trying to point fingers....I only made the comment because you did the same. I just feel like if we would have held off a bit longer and waited for a full on discussion and for everyone to weigh in, it may have been a much more civil conversation and probably voted against, rather than for. But because it was created after only like 4 or 5 people commented (I think...), we didn't get a true view of what the whole perspective was. My comment from before was also saying, that if you felt this strongly, you could have pushed it more and maybe some people who voted for, may have changed their votes and understood your side. I realize you were away, so I understand....but like I said, I think we should have waited a bit longer rather than creating it so quickly....and waited for your opinion as well since you are a mod.

That said, it's already over and done with and there's no going back.... but I hate that some people are saying that they won't come post on the old board because essentially their feelings were hurt based on comments on a forum. It's really hard to convey your "voice" through text and I know often you can read something in a bitchy tone or take things in a way that they were never meant to be intended. But some of the moms are doing this and then refusing to come back and post on the main board. I can't post here because I am not a mom. I'm not going to come onto this board and make a post about sexxy time or a post about moving or culture shock or this or that, because that is not a parenting topic. I may come here to make comments on your posts about baby kicks or whatever, but I also feel isolated now because some members who I do like and value their opinion, want to hear about their life, etc etc aren't going to post on the other board, but yet, I can't come post here. There is no reason for me to make a post on the parenting board unless I am asking a question about parenting, which I won't be for another 4 years... I just hate that some of you have taken this turn because 2 or 3 comments offended you.....

[larzhope]

Mar 25, 2013 13:22:40 GMT -5 llh0211 said:

A couple things... Yes, there were the @ indicators to show that it's about kids/babies/pregnancies.  But I would imagine, if someone was struggling with it, seeing @ all through the first page of the board could be difficult.  I am not one of those, just trying to put myself in someone elses shoes...

For me, personally, the @ posts were annoying, but not that big of a deal.  I would think that having the sub board to post any and all questions @ related without being judged, or wondering if there were too many already would be beneficial to the moms.  It's been expressed by a few people that they felt bad when they had a question, and hesitated asking, as they didn't want to flood the board with those questions.

I get that there's hurt feelings, and that you feel we "kicked you out", and there was discrimination.  I'm sorry, and I'm sure that was not at all the intent of the board.  Post where you want, don't post... whatever.  I know I'll still pop over here to see all the cute Seattle Nextie babies & hear about them.  Because I DO care. 

This was perfectly stated, and I agree completely

[BlackCanary]

Mar 25, 2013 8:43:01 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Mar 24, 2013 10:30:31 GMT -5 @sounderschick said:

Andplusalso, you're just being lazy about changing between the two because you are mad. It's not THAT hard.

so here's what bugs me. the seattle board was never a "safe-place" for infertiles, or those who do not want kids.....i don't believe anyone was ever "insensitive" to those who did not want kids. we even "warned" them with the @ symbol when there were posts about kids coming. it's simple to scroll past those and find whatever post you want. but to ask a "bulk" of the posts to start being posted on another board is ludicrous. in a real-life situation, if people in a room were making you uncomfortable--do you ask them to bring their conversation elsewhere? or do you remove yourself from the situation? do you tell them that they can only stay in the room if they're not talking about kids? we are not in the waiting room of an infertility clinic. if a group of people feel that way, they were welcome to start a non-kids board...but instead, you're pushing people away who were already in the room, already talking about kids. 


@sounderschick, when you say i'm being insensitive, are you saying moms (or those who post about kids) don't have feelings? when we are told "your life is boring, does not relate to me, or i have no interest in reading it, you go somewhere else"......you don't think *that* hurts? 

  
This wasn't necessarily a problem before because there were @ posts every so often. Understandably, since there are more pregnancies now, there are a lot more @ posts and it's going to be that way from now on. And when it seems that a good portion of the board has @ posts, IMO, it's no longer just Seattle board, it's more Seattle parenting. And there are non @ posts, but when @ posts gets more replies, the non @ ones go to the bottom of the page and are not noticed as easily. 

I said it once and I will say it again, there are posters who are hurting because the influx of @ posts. Whether it being because of infertility or some other issue. Like SoundersChick said, why can't you understand that? I think the sub-board is a good idea, because any and all @ questions can be posted. There are already 34 posts! Imagine if all those questions were asked on the main board, it would fill up the page and once again, the non @ ones would go toward the bottom. 

I just feel that you don't seem to care that people are hurting. 

[sarack]

I came back thinking we were over this.. we're not?