DD's Dad is "Special"

[cop]

I don't know what to think about this guy anymore.  It has been fun telling people that he ran off and joined the circus since he took his new job, but I can't help but be disappointed yet again that he is such a crappy father.  My daughter is awesome and deserves so much more.  Well, actually, she has so much more.  She has my husband, who has been the only real father she can remember having.

She was supposed to spend a couple of weeks with him this summer, but now that he's on the road I don't know if she'll see him at all.  It sucks, but I know DD is going to have more fun with DH anyway- they're going on a cruise, spending time at Disney, and visiting cousins.  With her dad she'd probably just be spending all day vegging on the couch.  But I still wish her dad wasn't such a child.

And since he started his new job he has taken on this holier-than-thou, I work soooo much attitude.  He even e-mailed DD about how he hoped to talk to her on his day off but he couldn't make any promises because he had to work 18 hours the day before and he was going to be tired.      Yeah, that's something you should burden an 8 year old with.  I'm sure she's super impressed by your long days and excuses for why you can't call her.  The fact is, she already doesn't expect him to call because he rarely does.

I want to tell him that I'll be impressed by his long days when the child support payments start flowing again after his three year hiatus.  

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest or I might actually say these things directly to him like I really want to.   :-#

[babybchbum]

Ok so what is is new job really? It is it truly the circus?

Hugs mama- I can't imagine where you are at but Be grateful you have a wonderful DH who has accepted her as his own and shown her a true father figure.

[cop]

He actually did join the Circus.   

Not as a performer...but, still.  Kind of funny.  I don't know what I hope to accomplish by venting online, I just sometimes want so badly to reach through the phone and throttle him and venting tempers that urge.


Thanks for the words of encouragement, BabyBchBum.  I'm happy that DD is doing well despite her dad and I am so thankful for my husband and the stability we have been able to provide for the kids.  Is it going to be so hard not to use her dad as a cautionary tale when she goes off to college.  Because this is what happens when you have a kid before you've established that the person you are with isn't a child themself. 

[jen812]

I can imagine how frustrating that is for you. Eventually, she'll see him for who he truly is & appreciate your H even more. It's too bad that's the way it has to be.

[cop]

Thanks, Jen.  I hope that she grows up with a healthy perspective about the whole thing.  I don't want her to think that her father doesn't love her because I know he does.  I'm still working on accepting that he is who he is.  I know if I can raise her to accept him for who he is instead of what she or I want him to be, she'll have a much better relationship with him.  I just need to learn to accept it first myself.

[babybchbum]

COP you have done the first step which is realize it. The second step is accepting it and that can be hard. Hugs

[jen812]

Mar 25, 2013 20:41:24 GMT -5 cop said:

Thanks, Jen.  I hope that she grows up with a healthy perspective about the whole thing.  I don't want her to think that her father doesn't love her because I know he does.  I'm still working on accepting that he is who he is.  I know if I can raise her to accept him for who he is instead of what she or I want him to be, she'll have a much better relationship with him.  I just need to learn to accept it first myself.

I think she'll be just fine. You're a great mom.