Sister Vent

[sake]

Some of you may remember how annoyed I was with her during my pregnancy, b/c she is a total "competitive courtney" and tried to one-up me about every.damn.thing. 

She also called me to volunteer to throw me a baby shower, and we set a date, and then she didn't do anything else at all, and my mom kind of took over last minute, and put together a BEAUTIFUL shower, and then my sister took credit for the whole thing the day of. 

Well now she's due in May, and she said that she didn't really want a shower, so I wasn't going to go out of my way to do one, if she wasn't REALLY wanting one. I did however, want to buy her a nice gift, of something that she needed. But I had no clue what that would be because she doesn't have a registry, since she isn't having a shower. So I texted her and asked if she would let me know of a few things that she was wanting or needing for the baby. 
She texts me back ONE thing that she wants. It's a baby monitor that costs almost $200. It's the same one that we have, but we bought ours ourselves, b/c we didn't want to ask anyone else to spend that much on a baby monitor.
For my shower she gave us a small pack of diapers and 2 outfits for Grant. Which we totally appreciate, and the outfits were really cute, and I was thankful for all of our gifts.

But, guys, I am annoyed with her. I am annoyed that she only gave me ONE option of something to get, and it's expensive, and it's WAY more than she spent on us for my shower. I am also annoyed b/c I feel like I will be a shitty sister if I don't get it for her, since that's the only thing she specified that she wanted. 

I also feel like I need to add in here that she and her husband are well off. They have nice things, and a big house, and spend money on dumb shit all the time, so it's not like she was on a budget when she purchased my gift. 

Maybe I'm a bitch. But this, along with other annoying things she has done lately, is pushing me over the edge today. 

*ETA: I think I sounded ungrateful for the gifts she gave me. That is not how I feel at all, and I wouldn't mind spending more than she spent on me. It's just that I wanted OPTIONS. and not just the choice of one expensive thing to get. 

[cheeseandcrackers]

Yeah, that's pretty annoying and unfair of her.

[rex]

She sounds annoying.

I would just get her diapers and a couple of outfits instead of the monitor.

But maybe I'm a shitty sister.

[karmasabiotch]

Buy her a different less expensive monitor or skip that idea entirely and get a cusomized piggy bank or something fun.

[spitforspat]

I would just get her a gift card to a place she can buy the monitor from in whatever amount you had planned to spend.

It IS annoying. But don't let her get to you!

[soozy87]

Or just tell her "Oh, that is a little over my budget! Any other ideas?"

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2013 11:57:31 GMT -5 puddleofgrace said:

Give her a $50 gift card to the store that has the monitor and she can pay the rest.
I'd be annoyed too.

this exactly.  Give her a gc for what you want to spend and she can foot the rest of it.

[TrickyBob]

Small pack of diapers and 2 outfits.



I am pro gift card. She should have given options.

[Deleted]

I just had a thought. does she consider the money you are saving since you aren't throwing her a shower? I know throwing a party can get expensive? Maybe she figures since you don't have to throw her a shower you can get her a more expensive gift. NOT AGREEING. Just thinking maybe this is her rationale?

[mrsjuleshs]

You don't sound whiny at all. She sounds entitled. Get her a gift card or something personalized. She'll just have to get over it.

[walterismydog]

That's shitty. I would just get her some clothes and useful stuff.
This reminds me of a friend of mine who only registered for the most outrageous stuff for her wedding. I'm talking $200 Versace plates (and this was a "cheaper" option).

[lime]

Another vote for the GC.

Honestly, I try so hard not to keep score with my sister, but she does it constantly and I have to take a time out to responding to her shit. So, I understand your irritation at the situation.

[sake]

Mar 26, 2013 12:01:56 GMT -5 @sloanpeterson said:

I just had a thought. does she consider the money you are saving since you aren't throwing her a shower? I know throwing a party can get expensive? Maybe she figures since you don't have to throw her a shower you can get her a more expensive gift. NOT AGREEING. Just thinking maybe this is her rationale?

This would make sense, except SHE DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE to my shower AT ALL. She said she would throw me a shower, and then never planned one single thing. no food, no decor, no games, NOTHING. 

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2013 12:08:22 GMT -5 sake said:

Mar 26, 2013 12:01:56 GMT -5 @sloanpeterson said:

I just had a thought. does she consider the money you are saving since you aren't throwing her a shower? I know throwing a party can get expensive? Maybe she figures since you don't have to throw her a shower you can get her a more expensive gift. NOT AGREEING. Just thinking maybe this is her rationale?

This would make sense, except SHE DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE to my shower AT ALL. She said she would throw me a shower, and then never planned one single thing. no food, no decor, no games, NOTHING. 

Okay so I give a double fuck you to her. GC or something along those lines

[Deleted]

she totally thinks you owe her for the shower "she" threw, even if all she did was chuck money at it.

give what you can comfortably afford. another option, since you're a mom first, is to make up a little collection of things that you've found useful in these first few months (that are within your price range) as a sweet "sister to sister" basket. you know, your favorite diaper cream, blanket, socks, etc.

then, if she complains that it wasn't pricey enough, she looks like a hosebeast who doesn't care about sentiment.

win-win for you!

[hopecounts]

Mar 26, 2013 12:17:31 GMT -5 cville said:

she totally thinks you owe her for the shower "she" threw, even if all she did was chuck money at it.

give what you can comfortably afford. another option, since you're a mom first, is to make up a little collection of things that you've found useful in these first few months (that are within your price range) as a sweet "sister to sister" basket. you know, your favorite diaper cream, blanket, socks, etc.

then, if she complains that it wasn't pricey enough, she looks like a hosebeast who doesn't care about sentiment.

win-win for you!

I love this idea, kill her with kindness.
Do a sweet thoughtful basket with useful stuff and possibly a giftcard for a store where she can buy her preferred monitor and if she says anything she looks like the jerk (which she's kind of being.)

[sake]

ALSO... do you think it's weird to give your second son the same middle name as your husband AND your first son??
B/c that's what she's doing.

[lime]

My mom, younger sister and myself have the same middle name. I chalk it up to lack of creativity, not weirdness, FWIW.

[sake]

Mar 26, 2013 12:30:34 GMT -5 lime said:

My mom, younger sister and myself have the same middle name. I chalk it up to lack of creativity, not weirdness, FWIW.

This is possible. I can accept that. 

[ECB]

Yeah- I'm on the "give a GC" wagon.

[poppyseed]

Give her the cheaper, generic version of the monitor. Lol, jk. Gift card.

[Deleted]

Yeah, that's pretty shitty of her to do. I agree with everyone about the GC.