This is rough

[Deleted]

*sigh*

You guys... I'm having a really hard time with Owl's dx. I've been waiting for firm answers for so long, hoping for a dx and never ever ever thought I would feel like this. My feelings toward adopting her haven't changed, I love her and can't imagine not having her here but this is hitting me hard.

When Kershnic said that I need time to grieve, I shrugged it off thinking that there wasn't anything to grieve about, I had been waiting for answers and although it wasn't what I was expecting, at least I had an answer. But you know what? I'm grieving. No one wants their child to have CP, no one wants the struggles that come with a special needs child but I am not willing to give up because it's hard for me.

Raising this little girl is a challenge. Challenge accepted.

[Duchess1]

Of course you are! Forgive me if I am way off base,but I think you were expecting a diagnosis that tied into her background of abuse. Something not quite as permanent.

This dx blows that away. It says some of these things aren't going away. Some of this cannot be parented,played,loved,adopted or therapied away. That is a lot to swallow. However,that dx also all but guarantees you help and services for years to come.

With a specific dx OT and PT can work more efficiently. She will get IEP's,school services etc. Everyone will now be working harder to ensure her success and you can let some things go. Now you will understand her better and can adjust your expectations and goals in new ways that benefit all of you.

I have no doubt that you will always be her biggest advocate and fan. You will continue to make sure she gets every service possible and parent her in a way that helps her reach her goals and be her very best self. She's going to be okay and I know you will be to.

Lots of hugs and admiration for fighting so hard for your daughter.

[seattlekari]

Duchess absolutely captured the heart of this, I too thought you were expecting something different and thus you need time to adjust your frame of thought. It's ok to grieve. FWIW, everything you have written here has always showed what a HUGE advocate you are for your kids and I have admired your tenacity in that regard. You are one strong mama...sending hugs your way.

[kershnic]

I'm glad my wording was helpful to you. A serious diagnosis is a loss of an expectation. Every parent has expectations and hopes for what their children's lives will be. Some of them are for the children's wellbeing, and some of them are things the parent wants to experience with the child. Finding out that your daughter's life may be very different than you expected or hoped can be experienced as a loss and absolutely cause grief. It can aIso open up new unexpected great life paths! But you have to work through the grief first. I'm sorry yyou're dealing with this.

[ct]

((hugs))

[awkwardpenguin]

((hugs)) butterfly. It is okay to take some time to grieve. Even if all you've wanted is a diagnosis, actually hearing it can still be hard, especially if it's something that may not get better.