I have to put this somewhere. Bullied, the documentary

[Deleted]

I started watching this on Netflix Saturday:

And I turned it off after about 10 minutes but before I did I saw the most horrific bullying scene where Alex, a middle school kid, is sitting next to another boy on the bus. Alex says something like "you're my buddy, right?" What came out of the other boy's mouth after that was horrendous. He was using all kinds of expletives, talking about taking a knife and cutting Alex's face, killing him, and worse. It was so graphic and disturbing.

That night I had a terrible anxiety dream where a man who had escaped from prison had picked me out of some public event and threatened to kill me. I spent the rest of the dream running around the inside of a multi-level church (?) trying to find a safe hiding place. Blerg.

This has really upset me. My guy is only 2 but now I'm really thinking about how to handle something like this should he be a victim of bullying (or the bullier).

So, can anyone tell me what to do or where to go for information to be prepared for something like this?

Or am I being irrational because, well, he's 2.

[Jalapeñomel]

I haven't heard of this one, but we are watching with my 6th and 7th graders this movie:

[Jalapeñomel]

We have a school counselor that specializes in bullying, and we have lots of anti-bullying campaigns that go on around the school. There are anonymous suggestion boxes and emails that the kids can contact in case of bullying. There are also very serious repercussions for those who are doing the bullying.

It's very tragic.

[Jalapeñomel]

I think actually you probably watched the same movie as me, not the one you listed above. It's a documentary right? THe opening is about the family who lost a child to bullying?

[Deleted]

Apr 1, 2013 8:10:10 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I think actually you probably watched the same movie as me, not the one you listed above. It's a documentary right? THe opening is about the family who lost a child to bullying?

Yes. I couldn't even get past the first 10 minutes.

[kcandbrae]

i cried through that movie.

and i'm paranoid that my son is going to be picked on because he's such an odd bird.

we talk about bullying all the time and i'm hoping that in any bullying situation he will come forward. i'm hoping.

[Deleted]

i think about this all.the.time. i was nerdy and weird, but for the most part relatively unscathed by bullies from about middle school on. but there was this girl in 4th grade who i still freak out about a bit when i think about her. i finally told my parents after she punched me and told me she'd break every one of my bones, and i'm not sure what my parents said to her parents but she never even spoke to me again. it helped that we moved that summer and i was no longer on her bus. but even then, it wasn't like what i hear kids going through now.

my mom was a middle school and elementary school guidance counselor for years (now she's a librarian). anyway, one thing that she said that i think about a lot is that she was almost NEVER surprised when she met a bully's parents. they were just like you think the parents of a bully would be.  there were some surprises of course, and some parents who were horrified to hear what their kids were like at school, but generally speaking she saw it as largely traceable to how the parents were. so, probably in part because my kid is so small, i keep a sharp eye on the parents too. not that if i didn't like someone's mom i'd ban my kid from being friends or anything, i just am in the practice of CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

[joenali]

Just make sure you define bullying to him. Bullying is not when someone takes your pencil one time, or doesn't want you playing a tag game on the playground. It is when a person has power over another and they are constantly picking on that person, over and over.

Kids tend to overuse the word bully. It drives me crazy.

[eddy]

I won't be able to watch this documentary and I am scared of stuff like this.

Jack has been at his same daycare/preschool for 3 years. For the most part he has been with the same kids. The parents are all great the kids are great. It is this nice little safe haven. Next year he starts K and I am nervous for him. He is just so innocent. He has no idea people can be assholes. I am not ready for him to figure this out.

[CurlyQ284]

My SDs school is also very vigilant about bullying with assemblies and things. There is a link on the school website where you can report bullying anonymously. I think its great that so many schools sound like they are really cracking down on it and taking it seriously.

I was lightly bullied by one kid for a few weeks until he found a new target. I was chubby with glasses and braces but I think I made out OK considering. Middle school is the worst. I feel like those years were harder, maybe because the kids are all vying for their niches? Maybe because the really bad ones haven't been expelled yet? I don't know, but I feel like by 9th grade everything kind of settled with kids picking on each other.

[goaskalice]

I was bullied all through elemetary and middle school. Physically and mentally, it made me sick actually. I got shingles as a kid from the stress and thought about killing myself in 6th grade. My parents assumed that since I went to a good Christian school it wasn't happening, but once they found out - my mom actually caught some girls swinging me by my hair and hitting me at recess one day while she was coming early to pick up my younger sister - they did talk to me about it. I learned to stand up for myself better in seventh grade, and one of the biggest culprits left, but I will always resent the school for doing mostly nothing.

I plan on having a more open line of communication with my future kids, but at the end if the day I'm not sure there's much more that can be done. I do wish my parents had let me change schools, if my kid ever asks me about that I will probably try to find out why, not assume anything.

ETA: I turned out fine, and college was amazing for me. So, it's like if you're bullied you're doomed. 

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 1, 2013 8:02:42 GMT -5 @damnation said:

I started watching this on Netflix Saturday:

And I turned it off after about 10 minutes but before I did I saw the most horrific bullying scene where Alex, a middle school kid, is sitting next to another boy on the bus. Alex says something like "you're my buddy, right?" What came out of the other boy's mouth after that was horrendous. He was using all kinds of expletives, talking about taking a knife and cutting Alex's face, killing him, and worse. It was so graphic and disturbing.

That night I had a terrible anxiety dream where a man who had escaped from prison had picked me out of some public event and threatened to kill me. I spent the rest of the dream running around the inside of a multi-level church (?) trying to find a safe hiding place. Blerg.

This has really upset me. My guy is only 2 but now I'm really thinking about how to handle something like this should he be a victim of bullying (or the bullier).

So, can anyone tell me what to do or where to go for information to be prepared for something like this?

Or am I being irrational because, well, he's 2.

They did a "where are they now" on some of those kids.  What's horrible is that even with the FREAKING MOVIE coverage, the mom could not get the school to take any action towards the way the kids were treating her son on the bus, or when it then spread to his sister.  They had to change schools.

Its so wrong when the schools turn a blind eye.  I can't watch it.  It brings me back to my grade schools where the teachers KNEW that I was being harassed every day, commented to my mom every year, "Wow, they're both so smart, its really a shame Sparky and headmeangirl can't get along, so we'll just put them in the same class year after year and hope they figure it out."  To this day it affects how I look at teachers, which is wrong too, but still.