I need help making life decisions

[ElizabethBennet]

I have discussed this before but I need to talk about it again.

H and I both are ready to have a second kid. My baby fever is out of control and it has been for awhile. DD turned 2 in January and we feel that if we were to get pregnant in the near-ish future that the age range would be really good. We don't want a huge gap between kids and we want at least 3.

The problem is, is that I'm starting school next month. I'm planning on going to nursing school but I have none of my prerequisites so it will be awhile before I'm actually in nursing school. The original plan was to wait until I was done with school but then I'd want to wait at least another year after finding a job. We were both thinking that we could start trying now and then I do my prerequisites while pregnant and take a semester off after the hypothetical baby is born. Is this totally insane? I've heard nursing school is hard.

There is also a chance that H could deploy the middle of next year. I wouldn't want him to miss the pregnancy and birth if we could help it. I'm going to be 27 in two weeks and yes I know that's still young but I'd rather get our baby making out of the way sooner rather than later.

And if anyone is wondering H and I are in a MUCH better spot than we have been our entire marriage. We're finally working as a team and communicating better than we ever have before.

I know no one can make this decision for us but insight is always helpful.

[cheeseandcrackers]

Is there ever a right time to have a baby?

[ElizabethBennet]

Apr 1, 2013 9:22:54 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

Is there ever a right time to have a baby?

Lol no

[speckledfrog]

Have you talked to anyone who has gone to nursing school to see what they think? I had a friend just finish and they pretty much owned her, not like regular school at all.

[Deleted]

Apr 1, 2013 9:25:23 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Have you talked to anyone who has gone to nursing school to see what they think? I had a friend just finish and they pretty much owned her, not like regular school at all.

This is what I was thinking. I've heard from friends that it's really hard. Doesn't sound like something I'd want to be doing during the first/third tri or with a newborn along for the ride. I especially wouldn't want to have a new baby in the house while my H was deployed. If it were me, I'd probably wait.

[ElizabethBennet]

I've asked a few people about it and they say it's really hard.

[rupertpenny]

I'm also turning 27 in 2ish weeks. Birthday twins!

Anyway, I am pregnant and in school right now. I think it would probably be doable to work on your pre-recs while TTC/pregnant. Nursing school might be a different story, it depends on how flexible the program is, but taking a semester off could be a solution. I don't have any advice about deployment though.

[Jalapeñomel]

I could not imagine having a child while in nursing school. However, I have seen people do it, so if you want them both, you make it work.

But 27 is also young, so you can certainly have a child when school is finished as well.

[ElizabethBennet]

Talking to the school counselor is a good idea.

[goaskalice]

Another vote for school first. Personally, I would want to be able to focus and get it done quickly rather than take time off, or be stressed by family obligations.

[Deleted]

The rotations may be where you run into problems. My friend is doing it now with two slightly older kids (5 and 7) but says it would have been impossible if her husband had his previous job that involved a lot of trouble. Just because she keeps running into things where she's working longer hours than a daycare could accomodate, night shifts when daycare isn't available or her recent rotation that basically means they haven't seen her for a few weeks because it's so intense.

So for me the big factor would be how much family support you have around you to pick up what you just can't do because you can't set the schedule like you would with other programs.

Also, I don't know if it is just the program/specialty my friend chose or if this is common.

[ElizabethBennet]

Apr 1, 2013 9:52:03 GMT -5 @randomcdn said:

The rotations may be where you run into problems. My friend is doing it now with two slightly older kids (5 and 7) but says it would have been impossible if her husband had his previous job that involved a lot of trouble. Just because she keeps running into things where she's working longer hours than a daycare could accomodate, night shifts when daycare isn't available or her recent rotation that basically means they haven't seen her for a few weeks because it's so intense.

So for me the big factor would be how much family support you have around you to pick up what you just can't do because you can't set the schedule like you would with other programs.

Also, I don't know if it is just the program/specialty my friend chose or if this is common.

this makes me nervous. H has an unpredictable schedule with his job and there is always the change of deployments. I might have family help, but I might not.

[Deleted]

Then I'd specifically ask about residencies/practicums/whatever when you talk to the counsellor. How many, how long they last, hours to expect, etc.

I think the course work, while hard would be doable just like any schooling. Not ideal, but people get degrees with kids at home. It's the practical part that may be much harder.

[mamasaurus]

My BFF's mom did nursing school was she was pregnant. My BFF just did the same, as well. It can be done!

[ElizabethBennet]

Apr 1, 2013 9:57:25 GMT -5 @randomcdn said:

Then I'd specifically ask about residencies/practicums/whatever when you talk to the counsellor. How many, how long they last, hours to expect, etc.

I think the course work, while hard would be doable just like any schooling. Not ideal, but people get degrees with kids at home. It's the practical part that may be much harder.

I'm honestly not worried about the school work. I'm a good student and do well under pressure. It's the logistics of childcare and life that I'm worried about.

If H wasn't military and had consistent hours I think the decision would be easier.

[Deleted]

First off so glad you and your DH are in a good spot. My kids are two years apart and now there will be six years btween middle and this baby due in May.

I am going to be 100% honest with you. Nursing school if very hard when you are single and have no obligations. Add in a home, children, husband etc. Not impossible. hell people do it every day. but its hard. There is never a good time to have a baby.. Go with your heart and you can always take time off and go back.

[Jalapeñomel]

Also, without a child, school is pretty hard on a marriage, so keep that in mind when you make a decision.

[Saudade]

I am in nursing school and had a baby. My program is a little different. It's through a community college but it's distance. The clinicals are one long weekend a month. There are people in the program that fly in oAlaska, Texas, and New York. We decided to have a baby while I was in school and so far it has been ok.

I had to split up a semester because you have to have a 6 week clearance for clinicals and that wouldn't have worked.

I like that there is flexibility for exams and assignments but staying motivated is harder.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

[ElizabethBennet]

Apr 1, 2013 12:42:54 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Also, without a child, school is pretty hard on a marriage, so keep that in mind when you make a decision.

Honestly I think that if I didn't go to school that would be harder on my marriage in the long run. I've put off my school and career goals for 6 years and it's time I went back.

[ElizabethBennet]

Apr 1, 2013 12:55:58 GMT -5 Saudade said:

I am in nursing school and had a baby. My program is a little different. It's through a community college but it's distance. The clinicals are one long weekend a month. There are people in the program that fly in oAlaska, Texas, and New York. We decided to have a baby while I was in school and so far it has been ok.

I had to split up a semester because you have to have a 6 week clearance for clinicals and that wouldn't have worked.

I like that there is flexibility for exams and assignments but staying motivated is harder.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

How is the work load? How long is the actual nursing program?

What do you mean for the 6 week clearance? Do you basically need to be available 24/7?

[Saudade]

Apr 1, 2013 13:24:24 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Apr 1, 2013 12:55:58 GMT -5 Saudade said:

I am in nursing school and had a baby. My program is a little different. It's through a community college but it's distance. The clinicals are one long weekend a month. There are people in the program that fly in oAlaska, Texas, and New York. We decided to have a baby while I was in school and so far it has been ok.

I had to split up a semester because you have to have a 6 week clearance for clinicals and that wouldn't have worked.

I like that there is flexibility for exams and assignments but staying motivated is harder.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

How is the work load? How long is the actual nursing program?

What do you mean for the 6 week clearance? Do you basically need to be available 24/7?

Eh, the work load isn't the heaviest. It's an LPN program that feeds into an RN program. The LPN part is 3 semesters after pre-reqs ad the RN part is 2.5 semesters (summer, fall, spring). My quality of work declined after having a baby, mostly because I am burnt out on the program. The grading scale is a bit different (this might only be MN). So 94%-100% is an A, 88%-93% is a B, and 80%-87% is a C. You have to have 80% to pass. This isn't so hard, except if you have 10pt quizzes and get one wrong, you're already at a B. You have to have a proctor (such as a librarian) for exams.

If you have a baby during the clinical semesters you have to be 6 weeks out from delivery to return to clinicals. You also have to have a note from your doctor. This is due to the physical demands of clinicals. However, there was a girl in my cohort that talked with the director and had a 4 week clearance. 

The clinical weekends are exhausting. We're on the floor for 10 hours, have 1 hour of group time, and then have homework each night. But it's only once a month. 

My program is accredited by the NLNAC and also approved by the MNBON. 

[Saudade]

Apr 1, 2013 13:24:24 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Apr 1, 2013 12:55:58 GMT -5 Saudade said:

I am in nursing school and had a baby. My program is a little different. It's through a community college but it's distance. The clinicals are one long weekend a month. There are people in the program that fly in oAlaska, Texas, and New York. We decided to have a baby while I was in school and so far it has been ok.

I had to split up a semester because you have to have a 6 week clearance for clinicals and that wouldn't have worked.

I like that there is flexibility for exams and assignments but staying motivated is harder.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

How is the work load? How long is the actual nursing program?

What do you mean for the 6 week clearance? Do you basically need to be available 24/7?

You don't need to be available 24/7 at all. There are exams and assignment deadlines.

For example, for one unit there are lectures, activities, assignments, and an exam. The unit is open for 2 weeks. The assignments are due by the last day of the 2 weeks. The exam is open from Monday to Thursday of the last week. You can take it at any time during that open window.

There is a service that contracts with the school to do proctoring. You have to pay like $20 per exam but it allows you to do the exams at literally any time. I just use a librarian so I have to go during the day but I don't have to pay. For some people, they have to pay for daycare which ends up being more expensive than the $20 per exam.