How to tell a family member they can't move in with you.

[ECB]

"No".

I mean, really - "no" is a sentence.

But if you really feel you need to pad it, "Brother, after thinking about it, it's just not a situation that we feel is right for our family." Period. DON'T GIVE EXCUSES because he'll poke holes in them!!

[pamela]

Just say "no".
If you feel the need to explain, keep it simple. You and your husband have no need or desire for a roommate. Your family situation is good and you don't want to change that for you or for the kids.

[puppyluv]

You just say, "No. We have no interest in having a roomate living with us." I don't understand why he even would think it would be an option to move in with you if you didn't offer it.

[lime]

I was just going to come in an remind you that "no" is a complete sentence.

Don't worry about being kind. Worry about being firm.

[ellipses84]

Just say NO! We have a relative staying with us and the job he had didn't work out so now he is home all the time driving me crazy! If he's in your house, he becomes your problem. He can move and find another room to rent from someone else. Tell him the house is too crowded for one more adult on a permanent basis.

[protozoa]

"No. Just... no."

[lys]

You do not neeed a reason other than NO! Keep it short and sweet. NO. Repeat as needed.

[dr.girlfriend]

Direct him to rooms for rent on CL. That way he only has to pay his part.

[shopgirl07]

Yeah, this seems like an easy one to me. Sorry bro, having a roommate will not work for our family.

[chessie]

Easy Just say you cant.

[ECB]

Apr 1, 2013 18:01:02 GMT -5 sxia said:

Thanks, everyone. I know my parents have asked me before.
We've even discussed it before. However, I'm not interested in it.
He has a way of sucking up all energy.

I don't know your brothers story, but I have a 41 year old brother who still needs my parents to consign his rental agreement and still asks them for rental $$. He works, but he could work so much more and actually make good money. But he's lazy and my parents enable him. So he does the bare minimum. 

As such, I will never ever give him money, let him move in, etc. and I really would just say "no".  Like your brother - he's fricking 41. There is no need for him to need the help he needs. 

[Deleted]

"Listen, you know I love you but you can't live here."

[kershnic]

Apr 1, 2013 20:07:38 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

"Listen, you know I love you but you can't live here."

This, if no seems too harsh.  But I totally agree - don't give reasons for him to argue with you.  You just have to say no or you'll have him living with you for the rest of your lives.

[minniebee]

Just say no. I know it seems hard, but if you let him move in, it will be a lot more difficult to ask him to leave when he has been living with you too long and you can't stand it anymore.

[Velvetshady]

My answer as "No." just based on your thread title. Nothing you said in the following text would make me consider a different answer. It, in fact, enforced that thought that "No." is the only right response.

[Deleted]

Just tell him no. He is not your responsiblity.
How about since Dad is claiming him as a dependant he move in with dad???

[Deleted]

You're feeling guilty and you shouldn't. Just tell your brother "no, I'm sorry"

[dexteroni]

"No." If you want to use more words, then "I've thought about it, and no. It wouldn't be a good idea."

Also did your parents really ask you to take him in? That's shitty. If so, I might add "Why not move in with mom and dad?" lol. If they're trying to push him off on you, you can certainly try to push him off on them.

[crazytalk]

I don't know who I feel worse for in this situation - you or your brother. He's way out of line in asking, obviously, but I'm sorta sad for him that he's walking around in his life thinking that it's OK to ask his sister to move in, ya know?

Anyway, I love dexteroni's response right above. I think the "I've thought about it and no..." response would be best because obviously you've already been asked (by him and your parents?!) and you haven't said no firmly yet. And I agree with everyone else who said tht you shouldn't give reasons, because he'll just pick them apart and it will prolong the agony of the conversation.