the secretary who hates me is a paradox.

[Deleted]

on the one hand, the attorneys she works for think she's great.  she's efficient in getting things done.  she handles a wide variety of tasks.  she flutters the whole time and spends a lot of time telling anyone who will listen that EVERY DAY she has to make her bus and it comes at 5:20, but she makes it happen.

on the other hand, she's so unprofessional i want to die.  one of her attorneys was in a car accident (he's fine).  she keeps telling people who call (not sure who they are) that he'll be in today but is on pain medication and so might be a little loopy.  W.T.F.  A) he wouldn't be in and working if he didn't think he'd be alright; B) HOLY SHIT IS SHE SAYING THAT TO CLIENTS?!?!!; and C) TMI, as per the usual.


every day, i thank all appropriate deities that i am assigned to my secretary and not her.

i haven't attacked the fake spring flowers yet, but i did move the cat paperweight.  it was legit, i was looking at the paper.  but i moved it MORE than i needed to.  which made me feel wicked.

[Deleted]

Apr 2, 2013 8:22:51 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

At some point, a lack of professionalism becomes more prominent than organizational skills. Is there an office administrator or something who handles the secretaries? Because, uh, yeah. You can't tell that shit to clients. or anyone, really. I am trying to imagine what would happen if the Boss tried to call opposing counsel and was told he was on painkillers. TIME TO PUSH THE OC TO RESPOND TO DISCOVERY! lol.

I KNOW.

the fact that the people she actually works with don't have a problem with her leads me to believe that i must be overhearing her conversations with other attorneys here or something.  i mean, i'd do it nicely, but I'D FLIP MY SHIT if anyone said something like that to someone outside the cone. 

[hisno1girl]

You wicked woman!!

[livinitup]

What a loon.

[Deleted]

Apr 2, 2013 8:28:57 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Apr 2, 2013 8:24:30 GMT -5 cville said:

I KNOW.

the fact that the people she actually works with don't have a problem with her leads me to believe that i must be overhearing her conversations with other attorneys here or something.  i mean, i'd do it nicely, but I'D FLIP MY SHIT if anyone said something like that to someone outside the cone. 

I can't imagine saying that to anyone in-house, let alone someone who called from elsewhere.  I don't even tell people when the Boss is sick.  lol. 

Please tell me this is transactional and not litigation.  Because -- yeah.  TIME FOR SETTLEMENT NEGOTIATIONS, Y'ALL!  "I'll give your client $5,000.  And this blacklight poster."

ha ha.  no, i can't.

[Deleted]

We have a paralegal here who is 100% professional all of the time, but yesterday we had another attorney badgering us to set a trial date. She kept explaining that her boss would be out Monday and could have an answer early this morning. They kept on and on and on. She was polite and professional, as usual. But I guess even that got to be not enough and I heard her blurt out, "I understand your concern, but my boss is burying his mother this morning. I think a telephonic hearing on a motion to reschedule trial can wait until tomorrow. These dates are seven months out. Should I call him at the funeral home or at the gravesite to get his approval on the dates, or do you think you can wait 24 hours?"

I chuckled at my desk across the hall. Good for her.

On the other hand, we have an assistant I hear call clients by their first name all.of.the.time. She says, "But they insist!" No. Just stop it. The office manager is constantly on her back about it.

[Deleted]

UPDATE: she is so damn loud. anyway, i just heard her answer for the attorney who was in the accident and she said to opposing counsel (i recognized his name) "he's not in at the moment, mr. x, but i will take a message and have him contact you."

PHEW.

[Deleted]

now the mystery remains as to who everyone else calling was. i know she gave ME the full story when i asked if the attorney would be in because i wanted to discuss an issue with him. like, the FULL story. granted, he and i sit next to each other, but i was like "yo, i do not want to know about his brief hospital stay in that detail." must have been other people at our firm. who likewise didn't need to know. but at least can't spring an emergency TRO hearing on him or something.

[Deleted]

The secretary who hated and slandered me (essentially, said I was sleeping my way to the top) got fired. She wore acid washed jeans and body suits to work and would flutter around all day as well. She also went to the bathroom every hour to reapply makeup. There is no relevance to this except to say - there is hope that the unprofessional who malign attorneys will one day be fired, no matter how organized they might be.