Who wants to give me some parenting advice?

[sugarbear]

This is hard, yo.

first question: ds2 is six days old. He's gaining weight, rarely cries, and sleeps like a champ... When he's being held. We have a really comfy recliner that I can sleep in while holding him, but clearly that's not a long- term option. We have a rock n play, which I was going to out into our bedroom. If he sleeps on me, he'll give me a five hour stretch, while he'll only last about 45 minutes in the RnP. I think the issue is that he's a tummy sleeper. So what the hell do I do until he's allowed to sleep on his belly?


second question: everyone was all, "yay, three years is a perfect age difference between kids! Tidies gonna be great!" It did not occur to us that we were entering the terrible threes just as we were also turning ds1's life upside down with the birth of his little brother. Hold me. Te main issue right now is our morning routine, which currently looks like this: wake up at 6:30, I hand the baby to DH and read two stories to ds1. He likes to cuddle, and thesis the special one -on- one time that I get with him. But it's taking forever. Then he has to pick out clothes. Which is like pulling teeth. He won't get dressed til after he eats breakfast with dad, which takes forever (but is their special time, too). Then shoes on, out the door. Tis morning, this all took an hour and 45 minutes, and involved at least one tantrum. How can I make this easier without losing the quality time with DS? (Tis is a losing proposition, isn't it? Then just lie to me and pet my hair.)

[fluffaluff]

DS would only sleep soundly on his stomach..so that's where he slept. I don't put too much stock in the whole back sleeping theory

[Deleted]

Do you have a moby wrap or some other babywearing device? I basically wore my kid all day for about 3 months. She would sleep all day in that if I let her and I could still get things done.

During the night she was ok with a tight swaddle in the RnP for the most part, but there were still stretches where I had to hold her all night in the glider.

[ElizabethBennet]

Have clothes picked out at night and lay out as much breakfast stuff as possible.

Skip stories right at wake up and tell him if he gets ready quickly with no tantrums then he can read the stories.

[janiejones]

get a movement & video monitor and let your baby sleep however it can sleep. The movement monitor will alert you if they stop moving for more than 20 seconds, and the video will help you check on him without interrupting his sleep. Angelcare or Tommee Tippee (sp?) both make them.

[sugarbear]

Apr 4, 2013 11:18:40 GMT -5 fluffaluff said:

DS would only sleep soundly on his stomach..so that's where he slept. I don't put too much stock in the whole back sleeping theory

In your bedroom, or in his own from the start? We don't have room for the crib in our room, which is another issue. I can buy an attachable cosleeper, but figured I'd look for other options, first. He does have really good neck strength already.

[Deleted]

Oh you know what else worked? I would swaddle her, and hold her until she was asleep while her RnP warmed up with a heating pad or hot water bottle. If I put her down swaddled into a warm RnP she never even stirred. Took me a few weeks to figure that one out.

[sugarbear]

Apr 4, 2013 11:20:25 GMT -5 05heel said:

Do you have a moby wrap or some other babywearing device? I basically wore my kid all day for about 3 months. She would sleep all day in that if I let her and I could still get things done.

During the night she was ok with a tight swaddle in the RnP for the most part, but there were still stretches where I had to hold her all night in the glider.

I do. He loves it. It's the nights that are starting to get me down. I don't think he likes the swaddled, either. I'm going to try one more night of a super tight swaddle in the RnP, and then I might try no swaddle at all.

[fluffaluff]

He was in our bedroom..the ac in his nursery broke shortly before his arrival so we set up the crib in our room..once we did that and I saw how frustrated H got, I knew we wouldn't be taking it down anytime soon

[sugarbear]

Apr 4, 2013 11:20:29 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Have clothes picked out at night and lay out as much breakfast stuff as possible.

Skip stories right at wake up and tell him if he gets ready quickly with no tantrums then he can read the stories.

This is a great idea. Wy didn't I think of it?

[Deleted]

I took two baby blankets and rolled them into "arms." I laid DD down on her back in the middle of them and she slept swaddled and "hugged" for long stretches from day 1. God bless the nurse at the hospital that taught me that trick.

[Deleted]

I hope you find something that works. I didn't think she liked the swaddle either but I kept at it and she loved it eventually. Maybe you can swaddle just his legs?

[usuallylurking]

Does he have to pick out his own clothes? Can you have him pick them the night before? Is breakfast quick and easy or is that something you can cut time down on? My DS1 (turned 3 in March) is also just a slow eater. It doesn't matter what time of day or what he's eating. I feed him breakfast in the car because we have a 30 minute ride with the traffic and everything - is that an option?

With DS1 we let him sleep on his belly from the get-go (well, whenever we'd put him down). With DS2 he's always been a swaddle and back sleeper and he slept in his bouncer a LOT so I didn't have the same issue. If not in his bouncer then he was in the swing, sometimes turned up pretty high to keep him rocking and asleep. Are you swaddling? I would guess at 6 days old he's still missing the confinement from being in the womb.

[eaky77]

We started putting DS on his stomach at about 6 weeks. We have an angelcare sleep monitor that has a movement mat. It goes off if he were to stop moving after 15 seconds. He wouldn't sleep on his back due to acid reflux. The fist night we did it, he slept for 7 hours straight. I would recommend it to anyone.

[goaskalice]

Apr 4, 2013 11:20:29 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Have clothes picked out at night and lay out as much breakfast stuff as possible.

Skip stories right at wake up and tell him if he gets ready quickly with no tantrums then he can read the stories.

This all the way.

[Tacocat]

DD wanted to sleep next to me at first, so she slept in our bed with us for 2 weeks. Then we moved her to the RnP. Swaddling tightly helped her sleep longer.

[looseseal]

You are scaring me. We also thought three years would be a good gap. I'm only 34 weeks along, maybe we can change our minds? My son did well with the swaddle, so I'm not sure what other advice to offer.

My son is super slow in the mornings, too. I have started dressing him first thing a.m., before breakfast. If it means he goes to daycare with a messy shirt, so be it. Also, most of our mornings involve bribery and/or threats. If you want to take a toy to play with in the car, you must do X. If you don't do X, you get no toys in the car. I try to temper that with lots of praise when he cooperates and doesn't stall. We end up with more bribes and threats than praise, but maybe that will change someday? If not, at least I get to work on time.

[candreco]

Apr 4, 2013 11:27:03 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

I took two baby blankets and rolled them into "arms." I laid DD down on her back in the middle of them and she slept swaddled and "hugged" for long stretches from day 1. God bless the nurse at the hospital that taught me that trick.

We do this too, and if he's not liking being on his back, you can kind of prop him up on his side slightly.  DD slept great like that, and it has the bonus of helping prevent flat spots on the baby's head if you rotate which side they're on.  And it was right around the one-week mark that DS started to actually sleep better swaddled.  Hang in there, they change so fast these first few weeks it's hard to keep up.

For your older DS, you may need to find new ways of getting one on one time.  I'm with you on disrupting the older kid's routine as little as possible, but the reality is that everyone is going to need to adjust to the new baby.  With DD (she's ~4.5), there's been a lot of stressing all of the stuff she can do as a big girl that the baby can't, and also a crap ton of praise for being a great big sister.

And really, it hasn't even been a week!  Give yourself and your family some time to find your new routine, it won't be immediate.  We're just starting to settle into a rhythm at just under 3 weeks, and I'm sure it will change next week.

[sonrisa]

Apr 4, 2013 11:15:46 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

So what the hell do I do until he's allowed to sleep on his belly?

Go insane.

 T[h]is morning, this all took an hour and 45 minutes, and involved at least one tantrum. How can I make this easier without losing the quality time with DS? (Tis is a losing proposition, isn't it? Then just lie to me and pet my hair.)

I'm impressed you make it out of the house in an hour and forty-five minutes.  Go you!

(yeah, I'm no help)

[sugarbear]

Apr 4, 2013 12:01:41 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Apr 4, 2013 11:15:46 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

So what the hell do I do until he's allowed to sleep on his belly?

Go insane.

 T[h]is morning, this all took an hour and 45 minutes, and involved at least one tantrum. How can I make this easier without losing the quality time with DS? (Tis is a losing proposition, isn't it? Then just lie to me and pet my hair.)

I'm impressed you make it out of the house in an hour and forty-five minutes.  Go you!

(yeah, I'm no help)

LOL.

[revolution]

Have you tried a car seat or swing for sleeping? DS slept very well on me. Eventually I was able to rock him to sleep and then put him in his car seat and put rolled receiving blankets on each side of him to keep him feeling snug. He slept in his car seat in his crib until he could roll over. I felt guilty about doing that until the pedi told me the important thing was we all got sleep in whatever way was necessary.

As for your 3 year old. Does he get breakfast at daycare or where ever he is going? If so, pick out clothes the night before and do the stories only if he gets dressed quickly (as others said) and then give him a cereal bar or somethign in the car to hold him over until he gets his real breakfast. If not, fit breakfast in after he is dressed and only a story if he is ready in time.

ETA:  I missed yoru DH and DS eating breakfast together, so scratch that.
Can you move your story time to him to after dinner?

[sugarbear]

No breakfast at daycare, though I've been known to drop him Off with a string cheese.

We're going to try his vibrating bouncer tonight, and I'll use the rolled blanket trick. Our plan, if this doesn't work, is to stay the course for six weeks and then put him in the crib on his belly. We'll get the fancy monitor.

These are al great suggestions. Thank you!

[revolution]

Does he dress himself? My DD is SLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW at getting dressed. And as much as I hate morning, I try to be cheery and make it a race with her. See who can get dressed faster - or I bet I can go to the bathroom before you get your shirt on. As much as I just want to look at her and tell her to put the damn clothes on; that usually slows us down more and her stubbornness comes out or when she was younger, a tantrum. Now, we race to get stuff done.