ZOMG What should I do????

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Someone could be in my house. I'm not sure. What should I doooooo?

[Deleted]

This question is coming up far more often lately.

[pantsparty]

You've done the right thing for the first step - posted on a message board! I'm not sure what you should do next, though.

[Deleted]

You beat me to it.


I just don't understand the thought process behind "Someone is in my house/I just got stabbed and am bleeding profusely/my kid is choking on a Lego/my asshole fell out... WHAT DO I DO, INTERNET??!!"

I mean, my first instinct is not to fire up the computer and ask strangers on the internet what my options are when there is an emergency.


What should I have for lunch/wear to this party/do to my hair/paint my nails ARE acceptable things to ask the internet.

[sonrisa]

put the intruder in the fridge.

[Deleted]

You could do what my little brother did when he was little- carry around a bottle of windex. Blinded by cleanliness!

[CurlyQ284]

Do you have a baseball bat? Hit him with it! Call the police! Run out the back door! Are you OK TOTS?

[Deleted]

This just reminds me of dumb people on facebook asking their friends to call 911 or the police or whatever. Especially when they post from their phone.

[sonrisa]

Apr 4, 2013 11:59:07 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Apr 4, 2013 11:57:00 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

put the intruder in the fridge.

They can eat some leftover casseroles while they're in there.

And cuddle with the kitten, of course ;-)

[thebamker]

Apr 4, 2013 11:51:51 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

You've done the right thing for the first step - posted on a message board! I'm not sure what you should do next, though.

I laughed like a fool at this!

[fuckyourcouch]

SS!

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2013 11:40:56 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Someone could be in my house. I'm not sure. What should I doooooo?

Post a series of .gifs to interpret your feelings and actions as this pans out.

[mbcdefg]

Apr 4, 2013 11:59:58 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

This just reminds me of dumb people on facebook asking their friends to call 911 or the police or whatever. Especially when they post from their phone.

Wasn't there a girl on the Nest a few years ago that posted an intricate plan about what she'd do if she was home alone and started choking?

Step 1 was alerting the Nest so that they could call 911 on her behalf. Because she types really fast and would still have time to run outside and look for someone to help her.

[janiejones]

Apr 4, 2013 11:57:43 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

You could do what my little brother did when he was little- carry around a bottle of windex. Blinded by cleanliness!

[luckyval]

If it was luna's house, you could pelt him with dead squirrels. Beyond that, I got nothing.

[Deleted]

You yell at the intruder, "I'm logging into the Nest! You'd better get the hell out if you don't want any more trouble! I mean it! I'm about to click post, muthafucka!"

[Saint Monica]

I would rob him.