I was invited to an out of town Bach party but not wedding

[ralphlauren]

I did not attend the out of town bachelorette party. I think that is pretty shitty and lol funny. 

Come with us to napa and split the cost of the expensive weekend but you don't get to come to the wedding.  Ha.  I guess now I don't have to buy a nice gift!

[Deleted]

Maybe she thought you still lived in Napa or would enjoy returning?

[ralphlauren]

No she had my address and knows where I live.

[ginger]

Say what?!

I wouldn't have gone either.

They were just looking for someone else to help foot the bill.

[wkatie]

People are so weird. I don't get it.

Maybe you are being shunned for not going to the bach party? No invite for you!

[Deleted]

Maybe she wanted your expertise on Napa stuff or thought you'd be a fun person to have during that weekend.

I know it's an etiquette breach, but I just don't get riled up about this stuff.

[ralphlauren]

I never lived in napa. We were going to but we moved here. We went there for a vacation last year.

[janiejones]

Did the hosts know you weren't on the guest list for the wedding? Because I almost did the same thing but one if the other bridesmaids ran our bachelorette party guests list with the groom and he saved our asses. But this girl is a long time friend of the bride. We certainly thought shed be at the wedding ( that as it happens can only hold 80 guests and said friend has three kids so I see how her family got the cut)

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2013 16:43:13 GMT -5 ralphlauren said:

I never lived in napa. We were going to but we moved here. We went there for a vacation last year.

LOL.  Sorry.  I don't know why I thought you lived there!

[ginger]

Apr 4, 2013 16:39:59 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Maybe she wanted your expertise on Napa stuff or thought you'd be a fun person to have during that weekend.

I know it's an etiquette breach, but I just don't get riled up about this stuff.

To me, what she did is the equivalent of just saying, "HEY! WRITE ME A CHECK! Oh okay, fine...you can come too....."

[Deleted]

I don't understand the write-me-a-check bit.

We had this discussion on the board not long ago.

I've never been to a bachelorette party that required gift-giving, so I view it as all fun and no gift obligations.

[ginger]

She wanted her to foot part of the bill. Well, maybe not the bride, but definitely the MOH.

Typically everyone throws some money toward the bachelorette party except the bride. So the more people they get to attend, the less it personally costs them.

Of course this doesn't count if she wasn't asked for money, but I like to think she was so me and my 80-year-old-self can clutch my pearls.

[Deleted]

Meh. If I like the person, I'm happy to subsidize. It's a fun celebration.

I don't need to be invited to the wedding. Sometimes weddings are limited.

The bachelorette party is usually more fun. LOL.

[ginger]

I'm guessing they aren't close friends to begin with. Probably just had a science class together or something.

Money grab!

ralphlauren SOOOOO? 

[mala]

I totally read this as Bach the music composer. I was like "wtf is a Bach party? You get high and listen to classical music all night? "

[ECB]

Apr 4, 2013 16:39:59 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I know it's an etiquette breach, but I just don't get riled up about this stuff.

My DH has been invited on a couple b-parties for guys whose weddings we weren't invited to.  Men SOOOOOO don't care about this stuff.  Are you a guy?

BUT he knew going into it that he wasn't invited to the wedding.  That's actually my biggest issue - if the OP had known upfront, I kind of see your point- b-parties can be a lot of fun!  But to be invited, possibly even go, and then simply never get an invitation to the wedding while expecting one?  I think that's crappy. 

[Deleted]

I'm not a guy.

But maybe I think like one.

[Deleted]

I'm firmly on Team Miso here. Also, bachelorette parties tend to be way more fun than weddings, so if I am only going to be invited to one or the other, bachelorette party (particularly in Napa!!!) would always get my vote.

[ralphlauren]

We were very close at one point several years ago. This Is odd.

[EmilieMadison]

Apr 4, 2013 17:02:18 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I'm not a guy.

But maybe I think like one.

I have been "accused" of this.