My grandmother is probably going to die soon

[SKP82]

She's been on a breathing machine in the ICU for almost two weeks (when she went in, the doctors didn't know she had a living will that said she didn't want anything like that).  We just found out that she has breast cancer and probably metastatic lung cancer.  My family is planning to take her off the life support in the next week if she doesn't pass before then.  The last time the doctors took her off the breathing machine, her heart failed and they resuscitated her.  Now they know there is a DNR.

I feel bad because I want to be there for her, but I don't want to be around my family members on that side.  My uncle has been really shitty to me for a long time and I stopped speaking with him and his family a couple of years ago.  My cousin from my other uncle is always causing drama and I haven't spoken to her since she flipped out about not being invited to my wedding last year.

Sometimes these things bring families back together, but these are people I don't want in my life.  I really don't want to see and/or interact with them.  I will go to the memorial/funeral if she dies, but I don't think I want to go before that, and that makes me feel guilty.

I'm not sure what I'm really looking for here, but I needed to get that out. 

Please don't quote - I may DD some of this later.

[SKP82]

I think you're both right. I don't want to regret not going.

[kellykapowski]

You should see her. One of my biggest regrets was not seeing my grandmother more before she passed away. We didn't think she was going to die, so I never made that great of an effort to see her. I did get to see her once, though. But I wish I would have gone so many more times.

Forget about the jerks in the family. This is for you and for your grandmother.

[Deleted]

Go and visit. You will regret it if you don't. Trust me you will if you are close.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry SKP! I'd definitely go visit. ((hugs))

[shoeless]

I would go visit. I'm so sorry. (hugs)

[SKP82]

Thanks, everyone. I think I might drive up (it's about 8 hours away) Saturday and stay until Sunday to see her. I don't know if I should wait until they decide to "pull the plug" because she may not last until then.