Stuff you said/thought wrong as a kid

[ilovelamp]

Stolen from ML. What did you say or think (that you now know is incorrect) when you were a wee little one?

When my mom told me TV used to be in black in white, I thought she meant the whole world was literally in black and white. I was shocked! I even remember thinking, "well I'm glad God finally decided to give us color!" Apparently I wasn't very bright...

[Deleted]

Ultraviolet ray. I still have to correct myself because I want to call them ultraviolent rays.

And I thought people went on honeymoons to collect their baby.

[Dumbledork]

This all happened when I was like 6.

I heard part of a sermon at church that had something about how if you don't love the Son, you won't get into heaven. I heard it as if you don't love the sun, you won't get into heaven. I was all scared because I'd gotten a bad sunburn recently and hated the sun.

Another time, I heard them talking about how you had to be born again, etc. I went to school telling/asking classmates that they had to literally be born again, and asking if they knew how that worked. I remember one girl just looked at me and said "Umm... you've got that all wrong" and I was all "My preacher told me so and he's not allowed to lie!" A teacher overheard and told my mom. She still makes fun of me.

[meltoine]

There's a James Taylor song with a chorus that begins, "Shower the people you love with love". I thought it was, "showerly people you love will love". I thought there was a race of showerly people that you couldn't be friends with, but if you loved them they would be able to love each other and that made it okay that you couldn't visit them.

[meltoine]

And I thought that you got pregnant every time you had sex. I once told my babysitter that I wanted to have ten kids so I could have a lot of sex.

[brandienee]

When I was little I used to be afraid of going to bed, because I could always hear the little army marching near my bed. It took me years to figure out that I was listening to my heart beat. When my heart rate increased, I thought they were mad and trying to get me faster. I may have been influenced by the story of the toy soldier.

I can never understand Elton John songs. I still sing the chorus line of "Tiny Dancer" "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

[prettyinpink]

When I was little and couldn't go to sleep my Dad used to tell me how important it was that I go to bed so they could have their "Pony Party". He would tell me they kept a pony in the hall closet and all sorts of Barbies I had never seen before but that he and Mom couldn't play with them if I was up and if I didn't go to bed the pony would die because it wouldn't get dinner. Nice huh? I always believed him.

[jamesonontherocks]

I used to flip out at my dad for drinking coffee when he drove me to preschool - no drinking and driving!!

Also, the race for president? Def thought it was a marathon (picture obama in those sweet running shorts and tube socks to the knees with the stripes from the 80s).

yeah, I was a literal kid

[moviegirl03]

When I was in elementary school, I never saw any of my teachers go to the bathroom. I went home one day and declared that I wanted to be a teacher so that I never had to go to the bathroom. My mom told me they did have to use the bathroom, but probably had a faculty bathroom. I said she was wrong and they just never had to go.

When I was in church and they talked about giving your money to God, I seriously thought they meant that they sent God the money. I spent forever looking for how they got the money to God, and one day my mom took us through the bank drive up and I saw the tubes that transferred the money. I convinced myself that was the method that the church used to send God the money from tithing, and so I spent forever looking for the tube around the church. I finally asked my mom if it was an invisible tube so we couldn't see it...and asked what God needed the money for since He sat up in Heaven where there were no stores. :/

[kpol]

Once I found out that babies weren't always cut out of a woman's stomach, I thought they came out of their butt. All the women I knew who had a kid had a big butt which I thought was because they pushed a baby out of it.

Our local tv station ran classified ads with text only and had music playing in the background. I thought the words were the lyrics to the song playing and didn't believe my mom when she told me they were garage sale notices and whatnot.

[ilovelamp]

Jun 7, 2012 8:53:43 GMT -5 brandienee said:

When I was little I used to be afraid of going to bed, because I could always hear the little army marching near my bed. It took me years to figure out that I was listening to my heart beat. When my heart rate increased, I thought they were mad and trying to get me faster. I may have been infleuanced by the story of the toy soldier.

I can never understand Elton John songs. I still sing the chorus line of "Tiny Dancer" "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

Haha the bold had me laughing hysterically. Where did you come up with that one?

[ilovelamp]

Jun 6, 2012 23:31:01 GMT -5 @lemonlover33 said:

Ultraviolet ray. I still have to correct myself because I want to call them ultraviolent rays.

And I thought people went on honeymoons to collect their baby.

Those damn rays are always out to get you with their violence and shit. And thank God that's not how honeymoons work.

[brandienee]

Jun 7, 2012 9:48:26 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Jun 7, 2012 8:53:43 GMT -5 brandienee said:

When I was little I used to be afraid of going to bed, because I could always hear the little army marching near my bed. It took me years to figure out that I was listening to my heart beat. When my heart rate increased, I thought they were mad and trying to get me faster. I may have been infleuanced by the story of the toy soldier.

I can never understand Elton John songs. I still sing the chorus line of "Tiny Dancer" "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

Haha the bold had me laughing hysterically. Where did you come up with that one?

I always thought the beats were them stomping in formation. I don't really know where it came from... I just imagined a thousand little soldiers in red coats marching for my doom. LOL

[NomadicMama]

My older brother played soccer (like most kids). Evidently I liked to wander close to the side lines. Someone told me that the white paint would hurt/burn me if I touched it.

To this day, I still avoid the white painted lines for fear that I might get burned.


I thought girls where born with a baby already in their tummy and it just took a very long time for it to grow big enough to be born. I had no idea where second (or more) children came from. (And from my bit above, you can see that I am not the first born child.)

[MrsAggie]

My neighbor, who was only a year older than me, told me about sex when I was little because her parents let her watch rated R movies. I went YEARS thinking sex was just getting naked and kissing. Let's face it, in movies they're always rolling around naked and making out. It's very deceiving!!

[basilosaurus]

Jun 6, 2012 23:31:01 GMT -5 @lemonlover33 said:

Ultraviolet ray. I still have to correct myself because I want to call them ultraviolent rays.

Did you perhaps watch A Clockwork Orange at a too young age? Time for a little bit of the ultraviolence?