clicky: downs syndrome?

[jennlin]

in my BMB's FFFC, i put that i would term for downs. as i expected, people are getting huffy about it...just wondering what you guys would do.

[niq]

We decided that we wouldn't, but part of that is because msniq didn't want to spend eighteen months trying again.

I don't think it's flame worthy. Raising someone with disabilities is a huge loss of qol for the parents. I don't think there's a moral obligation to take that on.

Even on a tablet, I blame all wrong words in Swype

[jennlin]

Apr 5, 2013 11:39:46 GMT -5 niq said:

I don't think it's flame worthy. Raising someone with disabilities is a huge loss of qol for the parents. I don't think there's a moral obligation to take that on.

Even on a tablet, I blame all wrong words in Swype

thank you. i agree. h has a disabled cousin, and i see his aunt suffer, and i really don't want that for myself, (or for bjl, who would have to take care of newbaby when she gets older). if it's preventable, i want to prevent it.

[picksthemusic]

Apr 5, 2013 11:38:49 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

No. I didn't even get tested.

This. It wouldn't have changed anything for me.

[picksthemusic]

Apr 5, 2013 11:44:39 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

No. This is why we didn't do any kinds of genetic testing. The only time we'd even consider termination is if the baby had trisomy 13 and the span of life post-birth is relatively short and incredibly poor quality of life.

Also, there's no 100% guarantee that initial genetic screenings would result in correct test results, and other intrusive tests can lead to miscarriage.

This, too. I think the risks outweigh the benefits in most cases. If quality of life/length of life was really grossly small, or if the baby wouldn't survive outside the uterus, then we may consider termination, but even then, I'd probably carry to term if possible. But I'd have to cross that bridge if we come to it.

[catbus]

I most likely would not for Down Syndrome, but might for other chromosomal abnormalities. I do not judge people who would. As niq said, dealing with that can be quite a strain on parents and a marriage.
And I am all for screening and testing for these; if nothing else, I would want to be prepared for a special-needs baby. I would not want to continue a pregnancy in which the baby would end up suffering horribly.

[sarack]

i tested. before i was pregnant i said yes to this. now, i'm not so sure. i think h would be more against it than me.

[jennlin]

i'm flattered that my bmb is going crazy over *my* confession...normally my stuff gets glossed over on the clique-y bmb's. however, since i used the word "disability" someone has decided to lump dyslexia in with downs syndrome, and assumed i would also terminate for dyslexia and is raising a sht storm. ::eyeroll::

[dana86]

For downs no I wouldn't terminate. I think what surprised me most was H saying (when I was pregnant with M) that the testing wasnt necessary because it wouldn't change anything. Made me love him a little more. I am not against people who decide to terminate because of disabilities, it is the parent's choice of what they are capable of handling for their life.

[jennlin]

@lauralynne, your story makes me cry. honestly, i see myself in your same position, if it really were to happen to me. h and i decided (with bjl) that if something came up we would term (we haven't discussed it this time, but i assume it's the same). i think we say we want to, but don't know if we really would. or if we did, we'd still be devastated still the same.

[jennlin]

and p.s. @lauralynne, i purposely didn't put an SS.

[InBetweenDays]

I honestly have no idea what I'd do. We had the Integrated Screening done with both pregnancies - not because we really thought we'd terminate but because we wanted to be prepared if there was some sort of chromosomal abnormality. I'm of the mind set that the more information you have in advance the better. But if we were put in a situation where our baby was thought to have an abnormality I really don't know what we'd do.

[Deleted]

I just don't know. I don't think we'd be really up to parenting a special needs child, but Down's is so hard because there's such a spectrum from mild to severe. I know there are people out there who actually want to adopt babies with Downs because they had their own biologically and found the experience personally awesome for them. But, with H, I don't know that I could adopt out our baby either. Not being pregnant yet, I can't say emphatically (so I didn't vote), but since H is still not on board with having kids, I'd lean toward terminating.

[Deleted]

No. Even when we were told there was a huge possibility that Edmund would have trisomy 13 I couldn't do it.

I know it's a personal decision but I find it incredibly selfish to abort over something like Down's syndrome.