@ Can I post this here? Re: international adoption

[LauraMoser]

This is more MM than @, after all. I'm still working on getting DH on board, but I've always wanted to adopt a little girl from China. I know international adoption is $$$, but can anyone share with me what their international adoption cost and what country? This will obviously be 5+ years from now, but I would like to have a ballpark idea of what to save.

[Deleted]

It is really hard to adopt out of china right now unless you want a special needs child

[LauraMoser]

May 12, 2012 11:21:25 GMT -5 @septimus said:

It is really hard to adopt out of china right now unless you want a special needs child

Is it really? Damn, there goes my dream.

[Deleted]

So I've heard from my friends that have adopted from China. It is becoming impossible to adopt. One friend is adopting from China right now but the kid has major heart issues and they aren't sure she'll even live.

[cahabalily]

What septimus said.

Friends of our recently adopted 3 brothers from the Congo. They went in thinking there were only 2 siblings, it was going to be $20K. Found out there were 3 siblings, and couldn't bear separating them, so it was going to be $33K (I believe).

Fast forward - one week out from the actual adoption and the agency pops up and says, "sorry, it's going to be an extra $10K". They came up with the money, but just be aware that something like this could happen.

[Deleted]

I'm noticing a lot more kids being adopted from haiti and ethiopa lately. It seems to go in waves, it seems 8 years ago China and Guatemala were popular, 30 years ago it was Korea.

I wouldn't touch Russian orphanages with a ten foot pole. I haven't heard of a successful adoption yet.

[LauraMoser]

May 12, 2012 11:26:28 GMT -5 cahabalily said:

What septimus said.

Friends of our recently adopted 3 brothers from the Congo. They went in thinking there were only 2 siblings, it was going to be $20K. Found out there were 3 siblings, and couldn't bear separating them, so it was going to be $33K (I believe).

Fast forward - one week out from the actual adoption and the agency pops up and says, "sorry, it's going to be an extra $10K". They came up with the money, but just be aware that something like this could happen.

Thanks for the info. Maybe if its still near impossible to appt from China when we're ready, we may consider another country. My reasoning for China was because I have read a few books on what happens to baby girls in China and it breaks my heart.

[miss1180]

we're adopting from Korea, but i researched china when we were deciding, too.
the china program has changed... and for a non special needs child, the wait can be a LONG time. like you said, 4 or 5 years. BUT a lot of agencies are doing "special needs" programs from china that has shorter time frames
Basically, you fill out a "checklist" of medical needs that you are opened to considering. when the agency has a child with those needs, they send you the file. You have a couple days I think to look over the file, have a doctor look over it with you and make your decision. And some of the "special needs" are pretty minor. hearing loss, needing glasses, skin conditions, club foot (which is very correctable with surgery). so don't like "special needs" scare you off :-)
I'm not sure what made us pick Korea over china in the end. WE liked that in Korea the kids are in foster homes with families, not in orphanages. its really great for their emotional development to be in a family setting. we also had read that the health care in Korea is a little bit better in china. they kids get all the same vacinnations they would get here, and the doctors over there check for EVERYTHING and really make sure you have all of the info you need.
we're waiting to bring our son home. He goes once a month for a "well baby" check up. and we get all of those reports to look at. so its nice to have all of that information. we also got a lot of background information about his birth family, too. (since he has placed by his birthmother, she gave the agency a background, etc.
ANYWAY.... as far as MM. When all is said and done, We'll be paying a little under $30K for the adoption. the program fee is about $22K, and then we will travel to korea for a week, plus a lot of other "little" things like sending him care packages, fingerprinting, etc.
BUT there is also an adoption tax credit that is around $13K that you get back once you finalize the adoption. So that helps A LOT.
feel free to ask me any questions :-) you can email me at lil_mis1 at yahoo.com.
I can also recommend our agency- Holt International. They have been REALLY great to work with! good luck :-)

[LauraMoser]

Miss1180-good luck with your son! I'm excited for you!

[miss1180]

May 12, 2012 11:26:28 GMT -5 cahabalily said:

What septimus said.

Friends of our recently adopted 3 brothers from the Congo. They went in thinking there were only 2 siblings, it was going to be $20K. Found out there were 3 siblings, and couldn't bear separating them, so it was going to be $33K (I believe).

Fast forward - one week out from the actual adoption and the agency pops up and says, "sorry, it's going to be an extra $10K". They came up with the money, but just be aware that something like this could happen.

this is where researching your agency is REALLY, REALLY important! a reputable agency wouldn't do something like this... they would be upfront with you and not pull this "oh, wait. sorry- we need more money" bit.
our agency is Holt International. They have been around for over 50 years, have offices all over the country, and work in a lot of countries they work with. they have been completely upfront with us about everything. and always get right back to us with any questions, issues, etc.
before you pick an agency, go online and read "reviews" from people who have adopted through that agency.

[marshmallowevening]

I don't have any specific experience with adoption from China, but as far as MM adoption advice, adoption costs vary widely. When talking with an agency, make sure to get a breakdown of all costs (application, paperwork, agency fee, travel, court costs, etc). Also, the adoption tax credit has helped a lot of families but it is set to expire at the end of 2012.

If you have more adoption questions, the Bump has a pretty active adoption board.

[honeybee]

I have a cousin adopted from South Korea (about 7 years ago now..). It was pricey but the process went fairly smoothly and quickly considering some timelines out there, it took them about 1.5 years. Find a reputable agency, interview them like you would a job or daycare, look into everything. Get references. And not for nothing, its never to early to start asking for information packages, 5 years out isn't too early to start getting an idea.

[heygrey]

i'm friends with several adoptive families, all adopted from Africa (various countries), and all were in the $30k range.
the only caution i have is to absolutely not push this on your husband. it will be one of the most testing and trying times of your lives and if you're not both 100% committed it can ruin your family. i've watched several marriages disintegrate because one spouse really, really wanted to adopt so the other just went along with it. the resentment of being dragged along on the world's worst emotional roller coaster was too much to handle.

[soveryexcited]

Just had to say, as a South Korean adoptee (through Holt no less! LOL)- this thread warms my heart. Adoption is a wonderful, amazing thing. :-) And heygrey- I think the same thing can be said about having a child any ways; adoption or biological.

[mollybrown]

Re: China, a friend of mine adopted 2 children. The wait now is insanely long...as in, if you start the process now, your future child hasn't been born yet. My understanding is that there are more people looking to adopt babies in China than there are babies needing homes. My friend waited about 5 years for the first child, and the second child they waited about 2 years and the baby had special needs.

[drloretta]

You may want to XP this on the Adoption board (yep, we got one on here--yay). As the pps said, the wait for China is rather long, mostly due to changes after the big earthquake there. DH's CW waited almost 4 years to adopt from there.

Haiti can be difficult because the government is in chaos. Ethiopia seems to be big for international adoption, as are a few South American countries. Russia is in some flux, and I think Khazakstan is still going strong.

IMO it wouldn't hurt to reach out to agencies and get an idea of cost and wait times. You may find a program that really speaks to you.

[karinothing]

May 12, 2012 11:29:35 GMT -5 @septimus said:

I'm noticing a lot more kids being adopted from haiti and ethiopa lately. It seems to go in waves, it seems 8 years ago China and Guatemala were popular, 30 years ago it was Korea.

I wouldn't touch Russian orphanages with a ten foot pole. I haven't heard of a successful adoption yet.

My friend adopted a child from Russian, but that was 6 years ago.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 18:27:21 GMT -5 karinothing said:

May 12, 2012 11:29:35 GMT -5 @septimus said:

I'm noticing a lot more kids being adopted from haiti and ethiopa lately. It seems to go in waves, it seems 8 years ago China and Guatemala were popular, 30 years ago it was Korea.

I wouldn't touch Russian orphanages with a ten foot pole. I haven't heard of a successful adoption yet.

My friend adopted a child from Russian, but that was 6 years ago.

No problems with RAD? It seems most of the kids out of Russia have RAD and/or FAS

[karinothing]

May 12, 2012 18:35:14 GMT -5 @septimus said:

May 12, 2012 18:27:21 GMT -5 karinothing said:

My friend adopted a child from Russian, but that was 6 years ago.

No problems with RAD? It seems most of the kids out of Russia have RAD and/or FAS

Nope, he is a perfectly normal kid. They got him when he was under 1 though. He does have hearing issues, not sure if FAS can cause that.

[dr.girlfriend]

Yes, my friends were going to adopt from China, with an estimated adoption date of summer of 2008. They are still on the waiting list, and in the meantime went through a two-year adoption nightmare in Kazakhstan. I asked the dad recently about whether they were staying on the list for China, and he said that they were, but they are two years behind and right now are moving forward at the rate of 1 day every two weeks or so, meaning they should be up in about 14 more years...