paying for your kids college

[jennlin]

so in my other post, i started making clickies...then realized there's WAY too many options to really put in one (i clicked "done" on my phone thinking it'd take me back to the main screen, but it posted instead!)

so.... talk to me/us about how you plan on paying for your kids college, if you do. any limitations on schools, classes, locations, dorms, do they need to work, pay you back.....are you saving now, saving later........?

[InBetweenDays]

My parents are planning on paying for the grandkids' college (and my grandparents paid for my schooling). If for some reason that doesn't work out we do have a trust set up for the kids and some of that money will be used to pay for college. I don't think we'll put any restrictions on it in terms of schools, classes or locations. As long as they are working hard and are going after something they want to do we'll support that. They won't need to work during school, but we will want them to work over the summer. And we don't expect them to pay us back (and my parents don't expect to be paid back).

[jennlin]

We plan on paying for 100% of tuition/fees, fees, etc, given that it's in state and nearby. We do not want our kids to move out for college. If they choose move, we will still pay for tuition and fees but once the money is gone, the money is gone. Dorms/apartments/living expenses will be on them.

We are putting $5,000 a year into a GET program for each if the kids. I think we'll keep this up for 5-10 yrs depending on how much tuition *really* rises instead of what is just predicted.

[sarack]

i'm hoping that our kids can live at home or together and be at an instate college. if they do that, then i'll try my hardest to pay for 100%. i know that had my parents offered me that, or i went to a different school that offered to pay for my education, i would have graduated.

[niq]

Apr 11, 2013 16:24:35 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

I will pay up until 12th grade but I won't pay for college. I will help if they get in a pinch but otherwise, and they know this, college is entirely up to them to pay for. I know I'm in the (very) minority on this but it's based on my own experience. I frittered away my parents offer to pay - I flunked out because I didn't take it seriously. I didn't even party. I just didn't take it seriously. When I paid for it myself, I got VERY serious about it. It meant something all of a sudden. And I am very proud of doing it myself.
I want the same for them.

I get that people feel differently and I think making your kids pay. I think there are other ways to motivate.

My parents point to me was always "your job when you are in school is to be a good student" and I really took it to heart. There was also always a "four years is it, no matter what the school is" rule. I think if I had flunked out entirely they would have stopped paying too. And my parents always instilled in me "to those whom much is given, much is required" attitude. I was also really terrified of college my freshman year, because I
thought I was going from being a big fish in a small pond to being chum
in the water with a bunch of sharks. Between all of these things I worked my ass off (though I still sucked at working hard on things I didn't care about. I just got very good/lucky at finding things that I liked). I hope to instill those kinds of values in my kids.

Our FP suggested that we have our children take out loans, and then if we can still afford to and want to pay, offer to pay off or take over their loans. That just seems cruel to me.

[niq]

Apr 12, 2013 9:46:07 GMT -5 @sfgal530 said:

Apr 11, 2013 17:50:37 GMT -5 niq said:

I get that people feel differently and I think making your kids pay. I think there are other ways to motivate.

My parents point to me was always "your job when you are in school is to be a good student" and I really took it to heart. There was also always a "four years is it, no matter what the school is" rule. I think if I had flunked out entirely they would have stopped paying too. And my parents always instilled in me "to those whom much is given, much is required" attitude. I was also really terrified of college my freshman year, because I
thought I was going from being a big fish in a small pond to being chum
in the water with a bunch of sharks. Between all of these things I worked my ass off (though I still sucked at working hard on things I didn't care about. I just got very good/lucky at finding things that I liked). I hope to instill those kinds of values in my kids.

Our FP suggested that we have our children take out loans, and then if we can still afford to and want to pay, offer to pay off or take over their loans. That just seems cruel to me.

Did you see the MM thread around this subject (paying for college) and this particular concept?  It was maybe a month ago.  A lot of posters said they were going to "surprise" their kid at the end of college by paying off their loans.  A lot of other posters flamed them.  Also, as one poster pointed out - you can only surprise the first born.  The other kids will know you plan to do this, obviously. 

I agree that seems cruel and I think it defeats the point of paying for school - to alleviate the stress that your child may feel when they are working and trying to figure out how to pay for college.  I get the idea behind motivating them because it's their money, but my experience watching my classmates who had to pay for their own college was that (1) they were more prone to drop out since they didn't see the value in spending ALL their hard-earned money to pay for school or (2) they were so busy and stressed that they didn't get to enjoy their college experience they way they should have.  Internships, study abroad programs, research work, volunteering, social/leadership involvement in the sorority... none of those were possible.  That made me sad. 

Well in fairness they suggested we pay for the price of state school. So if they go to UW or WSU, it's free for them; if they go off to a private college they take out loans for about half the price. Still that seems lame for exactly the reasons you mentioned.