15 yo girl commits suicide after assualted by 3 teens

[curtains]

news.yahoo.com/3-teens-arrested-assault-girls-suicide-024221519.html

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — Eight days after allegedly being sexually battered while passed out at a party, and then humiliated by online photos of the assault, 15-year-old Audrie Pott posted on Facebook that her life was ruined, "worst day ever," and hanged herself.

For the next eight months, her family struggled to figure out what happened to their soccer loving, artistic, horse crazy daughter, whose gentle smile, long dark hair and shining eyes did not bely a struggling soul.

And then on Thursday, seven months after the tragedy, a Northern California sheriff's office arrested three 16-year-old boys on charges of sexual battery.

"The family has been trying to understand why their loving daughter would have taken her life at such a young age and to make sure that those responsible would be held accountable," said family attorney Robert Allard.

"After an extensive investigation that we have conducted on behalf of the family, there is no doubt in our minds that the victim, then only 15 years old, was savagely assaulted by her fellow high school students while she lay on a bed completely unconscious."

Allard said students used cell phones to share photos of the attack, and that the images went viral.

Santa Clara County Sheriff's Lt. Jose Cardoza said it arrested two of the teens at Saratoga High School and the third, a former Saratoga High student, at Christopher High School in Gilroy on Thursday. The names of the suspects were not released because they are minors.

Cardoza said the suspects were booked into juvenile hall and face two felonies and one misdemeanor each, all related to sexual battery that allegedly occurred at a Saratoga house party.

The lieutenant said the arrests were the result of information gathered by his agency's Saratoga High School resource officers. He said the investigation is ongoing, and Los Gatos police also continue looking into the girl's September suicide.

The Associated Press does not, as a rule, identify victims of sexual assault. But in this case, Pott's family wanted her name and case known, Allard said. The family also provided a photo to the AP.

The girl's family members did not comment and have requested privacy until a planned news conference Tuesday. Her father and step-mother Lawrence and Lisa Pott, along with her mother Sheila Pott, have started the Audrie Pott Foundation (audriepottfoundation.com) to provide music and art scholarships and offer youth counseling and support.

The foundation website alludes to the teen's struggles, but until now neither law enforcement, school officials nor family have discussed the sexual battery.

"She was compassionate about life, her friends, her family, and would never do anything to harm anyone," the site says. "She was in the process of developing the ability to cope with the cruelty of this world but had not quite figured it all out.

"Ultimately, she had not yet acquired the antibiotics to deal with the challenges present for teens in today's society."

On the day Pott died, Saratoga High School principal Paul Robinson announced her death, stunning classmates. Two days later other students and staff wore her favorite color, teal, in her honor.

Robinson wasn't immediately available for comment Thursday.

The Pott family is not alone.

In Canada on Thursday, authorities said they are looking further into the case of a teenage girl who hanged herself Sunday after an alleged rape and months of bullying. A photo said to be of the 2011 assault on 17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons was shared online.

No charges initially were filed against four teenage boys being investigated. But after an outcry, Nova Scotia's justice minister appointed four government departments to look into Parsons' case.

[tigress]

I read this. So sad.

[LLL]

ugh

[trafficgirl]

Oh that is so so sad.

[janiejones]

This also just happened in Nova Scotia. I see that was covered in the article, anyhow here is a CBC link.  I hate life reading stories like this.

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2013/04/09/ns-rehtaeh-parsons-suicide-rape.html


ETA- (Look at me not reading your whole post)

[cleo29]

Jesus. My heart breaks for these girls. I can't imagine that level of violation and humiliation. WTF is going on with these boys!?

[goaskalice]

I read about the Nova Scotia one, but 2 in one month?!? This is too much. What is going on with these boys?

[StormyDixon]

This is so sad, so many people are to blame for this one

[Deleted]

There are no words. My heart goes out to the parents here. That poor girl.

[curtains]

Sorry to post such a downer...

It just really hit me how vunerable these kids are with the (relative) newness of social media and cell phone cameras. Not that what happened to her wasn't devastating and full of awful but perhaps she could have gotten counselling and help without pictures of the attack going viral...

[Deleted]

WTF, ANOTHER one? This makes me sick. What are we doing wrong as a society that boys would do something so vile??  It makes me glad I don't have a girl, and makes me even more committed to teaching my son to respect women.

[Tacocat]

I read the other story also about the Canadian girl. Both so sad

[tizzy]

And what about these other kids who took pictures, but did nothing to stop it? That's heinous as well and I think they should be charged with something.

[fluffaluff]

Apr 12, 2013 10:50:26 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Jesus. My heart breaks for these girls. I can't imagine that level of violation and humiliation. WTF is going on with these boys!?

They're being taught NOT to be gentlemen starting in preschool 

[lime]

One of my friends from HS was raped in college and she hung herself, too.

What a terrible thing for a 20 year old to do. My heart broke for her parents.

[cleo29]

Apr 12, 2013 11:22:10 GMT -5 fluffaluff said:

Apr 12, 2013 10:50:26 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Jesus. My heart breaks for these girls. I can't imagine that level of violation and humiliation. WTF is going on with these boys!?

They're being taught NOT to be gentlemen starting in preschool 

Well, rape is still something that tends to put the woman on the defense. It seems like they think they have found some loop hole by raping a girl while she is either completely trashed and/or passed out.

Honestly, the way we approach rape, date rape in particular, has to seriously change. It's more common for this to happen than randomly being attacked while walking down the street. It makes me sick.

[angelaa73]

I don't understand why this keeps happening!! wtf is wrong with kids these days. JFC wake up parents!!!

[mirandahobbes]

This just breaks my heart. I just want to hug these girls and tell them that their life doesn't have to be over. They have nothing to be ashamed of, but those boys do.

[Deleted]

This is awful And just another instance where I dread sending my daughters out into this world.

[wannabe]

i honestly want to cry just thinking about this.

what the fuck is wrong with these boys?? my god.

[caffeinebean]

This breaks my heart. I just can't fathom why anyone would think that this is okay.

[lulu13]

Apr 12, 2013 13:15:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

This is so devastating. I can't imagine.

I do think a large part of the problem is that these kids are thrust into this social media world with absolutely no guidance. Parents only marginally know their way around and through social media platforms; they don't know enough about it and, honestly, don't think to speak to their kids about social etiquette and boundaries when it comes to this shit. We're all only now learning just how unspeakable and far-reaching the consequences can be.

The violation itself, the rape itself, is enough of a tragedy to have to overcome; you add to that inevitable sense of shame and violation a public element -- you add photos that everyone in the school, everyone in your peer group, everyone in your entire life can see? and it's suddenly incredibly understandable why these girls end up taking their own lives.

Setting aside the issue of the rape itself, which indicates a lack of empathy and a sociopathic tendency that would be present regardless of media, parents are not policing their kids' online activities closely enough, and worse, they're not talking to their kids about this shit. 

We just got a note home from my DD's 4th grade class stating that many of the kids have Facebook and Instgram accounts and that some problems have come from it. I had no idea this was going on and my DD does not have either one or access to create one without me knowing. I asked her if she knew classmates had these accounts and she rattled of the names of the kids who did..I seriously had no clue. And now I am super curious as to the "serious problems" that have come from them. My kid is not even 10 years old yet.

[Deleted]

you know, i didn't even want to tell my parents what happened to me. i called an anonymous hotline and then a friend who'd already moved numerous states away because i was still so raw and processing everything and didn't know if i wanted to be known as "that person who had that happen." in fact, i might never have told them but for the fact that my mom called me before the era of caller ID and i thought it was the pizza guy and i was hysterically crying and she GUESSED. and i was 21.

so i cannot even imagine the added trauma of having my entire school know something like that about me at 15 (especially knowing that the distribution was, i'm sure, heartless and gleeful). i can also completely understand why her parents didn't know and why she didn't go to them. even though, now that i am a parent, i am dying inside for them that they didn't get the opportunity to help her.

i'm not sure this is adding to the discussion any. i just can see how at 15 dealing with the aftermath of the event and then the social labeling, she would feel like she couldn't go on. i've felt that way. i wish there was something else to do, in the world, to stop this.

[lulu13]

Hopefully the boys don't get away with it. That is a very affluent community/school (average list price for a home there is 2.5 million+) and I could see them getting out of it because of connections/money. I hope I am wrong!

[Bree Van de Kamp]

Why?!?! Why the fuck does this keep happening?!?

That poor, poor child. Its sickening to think about how she felt in the last months, days, and moments of her short life. That poor baby.

[livinitup]

My nephew turns 18 next month and off to college next year. He's a really great kid who's graduating a Catholic HS. And I've really given thought to saying in a loving and supportive way "Don't rape women. Don't let your friends rape them either."

[Deleted]

Apr 12, 2013 14:33:26 GMT -5 Bree Van de Kamp said:

Why?!?! Why the fuck does this keep happening?!?

That poor, poor child. Its sickening to think about how she felt in the last months, days, and moments of her short life. That poor baby.

1. I think people did kill themselves because of bullying and/or rape.  But we didn't hear about it.  You couldn't post a YouTube video before you killed yourself, it was harder for people to read something in the paper and have it go around the world in seconds.  So it remained a tradegy within a smaller community. 

2. Kids didn't have the means (cell phone cameras, facebook, twitter, etc) to take pictures easily and spread them.  Either of themselves, friends being stupid or a crime.  And I do think a lot of it has to do with this age range has grown up with that technology being normal and not come to think of it as an invasion of privacy or what the impacts of posting are like those of us who didn't even have an email address in high school do.  To them it's the same as picking up the phone or whispering in the halls. 


And with that, I'm terrified about how I'm going to raise this baby to be smart about technology and online and privacy and respecting others and respecting herself and I'm scared. 

[cleo29]

Apr 12, 2013 14:43:52 GMT -5 livinitup said:

My nephew turns 18 next month and off to college next year. He's a really great kid who's graduating a Catholic HS. And I've really given thought to saying in a loving and supportive way "Don't rape women. Don't let your friends rape them either."

H and I talked about what we would do if we had boys re: girls and sex and rape and agreed that drilling it into their heads that no is no, a girl being completely wasted or passed out also means no sex with her.  It's not just about teaching them to respect the woman and her body, but teaching them to make smarter, safer decisions when it comes to sex.

[Deleted]

Apr 12, 2013 13:15:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

This is so devastating. I can't imagine.

I do think a large part of the problem is that these kids are thrust into this social media world with absolutely no guidance. Parents only marginally know their way around and through social media platforms; they don't know enough about it and, honestly, don't think to speak to their kids about social etiquette and boundaries when it comes to this shit. We're all only now learning just how unspeakable and far-reaching the consequences can be.

The violation itself, the rape itself, is enough of a tragedy to have to overcome; you add to that inevitable sense of shame and violation a public element -- you add photos that everyone in the school, everyone in your peer group, everyone in your entire life can see? and it's suddenly incredibly understandable why these girls end up taking their own lives.

Setting aside the issue of the rape itself, which indicates a lack of empathy and a sociopathic tendency that would be present regardless of media, parents are not policing their kids' online activities closely enough, and worse, they're not talking to their kids about this shit.

I was just talking to my parents about this the other night. We have quickly, at the speed of light quickly, entered into a world of technology where parents can't even comprehend the types of things that their children are doing. Snapchat? What's snapchat? My kid is sexting? But I check their phone! She/He doesn't have a FB! Or an instagram! But...but...

I know that some of it is the fault of the parents, for not being more aware of their child's online activities, but things happen so quickly it's impossible to keep up. All of it, signing up for these things, posting inappropriate images, etc, can happen in minutes. You may not allow your child a facebook account, but all it takes is a friend with a smartphone and it's done. Or a friend with internet access that you allow your child to go to their house. Your kid won't have a smart phone? Maybe not, but even a simple phone can take photos, and all it takes is a cord connected to a computer to share those photos.

I think that us, just by posting in an online message boards, are years ahead of most of the parents of teenaged children these days. So we can sit back and say, but of course we know about instagram/snapchat/navigate FB, etc, but the reality is, I would say 75% of my students' parents don't. And they're trying, but as soon as one issue gets tackled, five more spring up.

[juliagoulia]

My heart just breaks for that girl and her family. So horrible.