Baby Brides....What do you think about them?

[mrsukyankee]

Yup! A young 'un.

[Lucille Bluth]

I feel for the women particularly, because they usually end up saddled with children really quickly and lack an education, which can quickly become oppressive. That's a whole lot of expectations on a man to care for them and their brood.

Side Eye from me. If they can wait a few years and invest in themselves before becoming more than a wife and mother it makes them more interesting.

[ninjatofu]

Oooh, I like that response. Well put.

[lolo]

When I was younger, I always thought I wouldn't marry until late 20s or early 30s. I had too much I wanted to see and do, and I thought that a spouse would get in the way of that.

However, it has really proved the opposite. DH encourages me to explore my ambitions and supports me in my self-actualization. It has made me more willing to take risks, which I didn't anticipate. I also feel that I've learned so much about myself because of being married--things that I might not have learned otherwise, at least not as quickly.

We were 24 and 25, about a year ahead of the average for our area. We were both the first in our groups of friends to get married, but I don't regret it.

And, even if we do split up down the line, I don't feel like that means I was young and stupid to get married when I did. It means that for a while we grew together, and at some later point, we grew apart. I am still grateful that we can share in adventures and growth together for a while.

[lolo]

I should add that DH feels similarly. His parents actually credit me for helping DH come into his own!

[kradleygirl]

While I married at 27, my husbands best mate got married really early at 18/19. However they had a particular set of experiences that led them to marry so early. He had already battled through leukemia at the age of 16 and had been given a death date basically. Obviously that didn't eventuate (through chemo treatment etc). His now wife (then ex girlfriend) was by his side through the whole ordeal.

I didn't know them until later, as I hadn't met my husband yet, but they just recently celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary. They both have their careers and are really supportive of each other.

I really think its more to do with maturity and the couple. Age really is just a number.


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[GilliC]

:Y: mrsukyankee I think this is good advice.

I guess when I think about it more, maybe I wouldn't have grown into who I am if it wasn't for XH. Our problem is that he really needs to be the center of attention, and doesn't like to be outshined. I've always been a little shy and tended to hide in his shadow until we got to know people. But when I started making my own friends and making a name for myself at work, it really started to mess things up between us.

I'm wrong to side-eye young people getting married, as long as they know what they're getting into, and as long as they're willing to end it. When I think hard about it, I don't regret my marriage, because it helped make me who I am. What I regret is the stigma against divorce.

I will still side-eye someone who gets married young and then refuses to leave a marriage that makes them unhappy.

[bugabean]

Oooo I figured out how to quote on the iPad app.

Jun 9, 2012 20:33:44 GMT -5 GilliC said:

When I think hard about it, I don't regret my marriage, because it helped make me who I am. What I regret is the stigma against divorce.

Well said.