need to vent

[bronxgirl]

*the following vent only applies to people I know in real life, not any PG announcements on this board*

Two people just announced pregnancies and their due dates are right around the time I would have been due if my IVF had worked.  I figured I would be sad around this time anyways because tomorrow (DH's birthday) is the day we would have been 12 weeks and started telling people.  Interestingly, last week a CW'er who I don't see very often asked when I'm having more kids and told me "don't wait too long b/c it's good when they're close together"  I would think something like that would bother me, but it didn't at all.  It's just seeing other pregnancies. 

[G22]

*hugs* bronx! I'm sorry. Vent as much as you need.

[trace]

Big hugs, bronx. (hug2)

[discogranny]

Hugs bronx, I hate that we even have to deal with this. I know none of us want to feel bitter toward pregnancies/children/idiots.

Over time I think I have gotten to the point where stupid comments don't bother me so much. No one is ever going to understand just how hurtful a minor comment is until they have been where I am. Statistically, that's just not very likely so I can't expect them to respect those feelings.

Pregnancies and children have been wrecking me lately though. Facebook is killer. From seeing the automatic baby website FB update post of a close friend, I realized I would be 21 weeks pregnant today. I would have just had the "big" scan and would know that I was having a healthy daughter. Another FB friend started TTC when we did, we were so excited to get pregnant together and she did the first month. She posted a picture of her daughter standing in the flower bed helping her husband plant flowers. The pain that shot through me when I realized that I could not only have a child, but a child who is nearly two years old and able to stand, talk and walk was intense.

Geez, sorry to hijack the vent there. I guess all of that was just my way of telling you that I get you.

[jewel]

I'm sorry Bronx

I know this is flameful and crazy (everywhere but here), but I have a really hard time feeling excited for any pregnancy announcement, unless I think they '"deserve" it. The deserving factor is whatever I make up in my head, but it's usually related to IF or some sort of life tragedy. Like, if they have been trying for over 6 months, have had a loss, or had to use extreme measures. Or, if they recently had a close family member pass away, or had some other sort of raw deal in life, then I can think - I'm so happy, they really deserve this blessing.

It's stupid, and mean, I know. I hate feeling this way.

[G22]

discogranny, seriously FB sucks. I wouldn't know most of the friends on there were pregnant and id feel slightly less hateful/jealous/angry over stuff if I didn't have it.

I've considered getting rid of it, but I keep in touch with my family and close friends that's why so I keep it. And torture myself.

Big hugs to you too!

[bronxgirl]

Thank you so much everyone. I cannot say enough how wonderful this board has been for me and how much you guys are helping me cope with all this.

[ilovecandy]

((Hugs))

[sonrisa]

((Hugs)).

[changedname]

Hugs bronxgirl. I get it too. And jewel - I do that too sometimes.

Bronxgirl, I really hope and have my fingers crossed for you that your next baby is waiting for you - do you think another ivf will be a possibility?

[degal99]

::hugs:: It's incredibly tough. But completely normal feelings.

[bronxgirl]

Apr 16, 2013 15:20:13 GMT -5 changedname said:

Hugs bronxgirl. I get it too. And jewel - I do that too sometimes.

Bronxgirl, I really hope and have my fingers crossed for you that your next baby is waiting for you - do you think another ivf will be a possibility?

Thanks so much.  DH is a little more cautious about another IVF due to cost and likelihood of it being effective, but we'll discuss it again in the summer.

[KaraOrNot]

Hugs. I go through times when it doesn't bother me and than sometimes any comment or picture or announcement hits me like a ton of bricks. That is what is the worst for me...I never know how I am going to react.

[HoneySpider]

((hugs))

[speyedr]

Hugs! We are very quickly approaching my SIL due date and while I have mostly been ok with her pregnancy thus far because she lives so far away, the reality is starting to hit and I think its going to be hard. She is due in 3 weeks and I am having a hard time preparing myself for all of the excitement. I am so excited to be having another niece and so happy for SIL as she is 31 and this is her first but all I want is for that to be me. Ugg.

[lola]

(HUGS)) Bronx.

[kershnic]

It really really sucks. I'm sorry you're going through it. I know two women from the gay parenting internets who both got pregnant from try #1 and have due dates within 1 day of what would have been my due date from my IVF chemical pregnancy. Seeing their updates on facebook kills me every single freaking time. I am seriously dreading August when their babies will be born. It's so hard. Hugs.