WWSNPD -- MIL sending extra shower "invites"

[niq]

Ah, #firsttimegrandparentproblems

We sent an invite list to the baby shower to MIL, she sent out an evite. Yes, I know there are already mixed feelings on parents throwing showers, but hey we're the first so cut her some slack, she's excited. The guest list on the evite is hidden from us.

One of msniq's aunts who lives out of town bought us some plain white onesies off our registry. Another one just declined but said she would send a gift and asked MIL if we had a 529 college savings plan (!). And MIL says in the reply "we didn't expect you'd be able to make it, just thought you might want to know". These aunts are on FB, they know we are having a baby, why are you sending them invites WITH THE REGISTRY LINK IN IT to people you don't expect to show up?!

Now, when we went back to ATL my aunt did give us some baby stuff unsolicited. She had been asking my dad for the registry before we flew in (we didn't want to give it out b/c we were still adding stuff & taking other stuff off). Still this whole thing with sending out the registry just seems extra gauche and gift-grabby.

Is there a way we can politely tell MIL to tell OOT guests that they shouldn't feel obliged to give a gift? If not what do we do with the gifts? Smile and feel guilty?

And what on earth are we supposed to tell aunts & uncles who want to contribute to a 529 plan? Should we just trust them only to contribute if they can afford it? I mean, in theory we're going to hit our savings goals but lord knows every little bit helps!

[picksthemusic]

So, I think in the baby shower world, registry info on invites is expected and not tacky. We got gifts from OOT family for our baby shower. Seriously, if people are offering, it's a good thing!

[jennlin]

We sen then to oot guests we know couldn't come. H's cousins/aunts got butthurt we didn't invite them to my bridal shower we knew they weren't coming to, and some other event I can't remember right now. But since then, we always send ALL correspondence to the family in California and overseas.

[catbus]

Don't worry about it at all! In my experience, it's normal to invite to an event everyone you would theoretically like to attend an event, even if you know they can't attend. If they're close family, it's totally fine, and they'd probably send gifts anyway. Your MIL probably just wants to show those family members that their presence would be welcomed.

[sarack]

I totally feel like it's normal for a baby shower to shower the mom/baby with gifts. Including registry info is important, people are going to ask anyway, and I think that'd be more annoying than actually just including it in the invite.

When is your baby shower? it's going to be here, right?

[niq]

Yeah, it's here and it's very small. I think we invited about 10 non-family friends (couples count as 1, so it's really more like 15-18).

Also thanks everybody, we will roll with the punches. It was just a little bit of a shock/surprise.