Second opinion - do I mention it to original RE?

[changedname]

Last week DH and I met had a second opinion with a really good RE in the city (she charges about 3x what my RE charges for Ivf etc). She went through all my tests etc and also my IVF protocol. She agreed with everything my RE has done so far and also my new protocol to avoid the cysts but was really surprised at the dosage of gonal F I will be on. She said that would have been ok with my original (cancelled) ivf because I didn't do bcp but now that I am and will be very supressed, then she would start me on a much higher dose to "wake up" my ovaries. (current dose is 187.5mg and she is recommened 300-something).

We can't change REs for this ivf because we already paid for the cycle but DH wants me to ask current doctor about the dosage before we start the cycle.

So, do I come clean and say we had a second opinion? Or do I just pretend I read something online or something? My fear is that my RE will get defensive and not want to entertain the idea of a higher dose. wwyd?

[jewel]

Tell them that you read it online, a friend going through IVF mentioned it, or you just happened to talk to your cousin, who is a doctor.

But, I'm kind of a chicken about these sorts of things.

[G22]

I'm with jewel. I'd find a way to mention it without saying you got a second opinion. I'm non confrontational.

[electricmayhem]

I would ask what number they are shooting for at your ER and then question how your meds will be adjusted (and by when) if things are not progressing as they would like. I guess my thought is that the meds can always be increased, but if you start off high, that's harder to pull back later.

[electricmayhem]

*dup

[Deleted]

A good doctor should not be defensive and should have sound reasoning to explain the protocol. This shouldn't be a confrontational issue, people get we one opinions all the time. I would bring it up and not let it go until the RE fully explains the reasoning and you fully understand. There's an awful lot riding on these procedures, I'd want to go in with full and complete knowledge of what the protocol is what it is to avoid any second guessing.

[genet313]

Apr 18, 2013 14:27:06 GMT -5 @bonsoirlune said:

A good doctor should not be defensive and should have sound reasoning to explain the protocol. This shouldn't be a confrontational issue, people get we one opinions all the time. I would bring it up and not let it go until the RE fully explains the reasoning and you fully understand. There's an awful lot riding on these procedures, I'd want to go in with full and complete knowledge of what the protocol is what it is to avoid any second guessing.

This, exactly.  If your car had an issue, you'd probably see at least one other mechanic.  This is your body and a potential baby.  You have every right to seek a second opinion - doctors are amazing, but they're not perfect and additional input can only help your chances and help your process.   

I'd also be upfront with your first DR and say you got a second opinion - if they are defensive, as bonsoir says, that's a natural reaction, and I'd forgive it, but if the first RE is unwilling to explain protocol, or dismisses the idea w/o justification, I'd be wary.

[azurely]

I am also non-confrontational, so I would probably just say something about reading it online or in a book. I am the queen of google, and it probably annoys my doctors sometimes when I say, "I saw something online..." but I would rather be over informed than under.

Another idea is that you could ask her reasoning for that dose, like, "what happens if I don't respond at that dose? Will you be able to bump it up?" That would give you an idea of her reasoning, without having to say you got a second opinion.