Moms of 3-4 yos

[Deleted]

Does your child whine and complain a lot? Is he or she pretty moody? DS can be as sweet as pie one moment and then the second he isn't getting or doing what he wants, a flip switches, and he has a big tantrum.

What are your tips for handling this? I've tried ignoring it or telling him that you don't get what you want by acting like this but it seems like it's getting worse.

TIA for any replies!

[brit1017]

Yup, both my 4yo and 2yo do this. I generally say that I can't understand them when they speak like that, and to try asking again. If they throw a major tantrum b/c they are not getting their way, I tell them that they can go upstairs to their room and come back down when they are ready to be nice. If they don't go up by themselves (DS normally will stomp his way up the stairs himself and stomp around in his room, but he is in a better mood when he comes down), I'll take them and put them upstairs in their room and come back downstairs.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it feels like they are in timeouts in their rooms for half the day...

[vanillacourage]

Yes.

We're trying to get him to bed earlier, now that he doesn't nap he needs that much more sleep at night. We notice a difference in his behavior, even through the next evening, when he gets ~12 hours at night.

[omalley]

One of my three year olds does this all of the time! The other 3 yr old has occasional tantrums but thankfully does not whine.

I do the same thing as far as telling him to stop whining (while I am wondering if he even knows what the word whine means?!) and I tell him that he can't get, do, or go whatever he wants if he whines or has a tantrum. I have been hoping that he will just grow out of it. ;-)

A lot of times I used to give in and give him what he wants just for my sanity but I am starting to be strict and not give in to his demands. I am hoping we will see an improvement. And my husband did time-out a few times when he was really having a fit and it calmed him down.

[6fsn]

Sort of like pp- if he doesn't ask nicely for something I send him out of the room to come back and try again. If it's a full on tantrum I tell him he can either go to his room to cry or he can settle down and stay with me. I give him a slow count backward from 10 to get it together.

When he was ~2 I would tell him it was okay to be upset for a couple of minutes, but after that he had to go somewhere else to cry. I'd set the kitchen timer and a lot of the time he'd start sucking it up when he'd hear the beeps.

[fortmyersbride]

Like pp said, I tell DS that I can't understand him when he whines- so when he's ready to stop whining to let me know and we can talk. We've also been telling him recently that "crying is for owies" so we don't cry just b/c we're cranky/tired/etc.

[lishie]

I try to explain to my 3 yo that he will not get what he wants when he whines and that when he is able to discuss what he wants using an inside voice and without yelling, screaming or crying, we will discuss it. I then leave him alone either in his room or our living room and allow him to cool down. Usually, but not always, that works.

[ijack]

With the whining we tell her we can't understand her. If it gets out of control she goes upstairs where I can't hear her.

[theintended]

Yup. I tell her when she's ready to speak/ask nicely, I'm happy to listen, then I walk away. She's usually fine immediately or at least within in a minute or two.

[SusanBAnthony]

My 4 is whiny, and I tend to be playful about it. He whines, I whine back, then I say, oh did you not like that? Was that annoying? Why don't you try asking me nicely. It works, but I do get sick of doing it 50 times a day.

My 2 is a tantrum thrower, hard core. She gets counted (1,2,3) then either stops crying (more and more) or goes to her bad with her nuk to lay down until she is ready to be done screaming. She is welcome to scream as long as she wants, but I don't want to hear it. I also always offer snuggles/rocking to her, but she doesn't want it- she just wants to scream.

[statlerwaldorf]

DD is very whiny. We've been doing the 1,2,3 magic which seems to be helping. She doesn't normally throw tantrums unless she is tired.

[nannersp]

Yup, our 3-yr-old is extra whiny lately, as well as talking back more. She's been getting more timeouts, which I think is helping a little.

[madringal]

My 4 year old can be very whiney if she doesn't get a nap. She isn't moody and doesn't throw tantrums, but my goodness can that girl get whiney! She needs a nap by 1 and is usually in bed for the night at 8:30.

[lala]

Jun 8, 2012 7:04:41 GMT -5 brit1017 said:

Yup, both my 4yo and 2yo do this. I generally say that I can't understand them when they speak like that, and to try asking again. If they throw a major tantrum b/c they are not getting their way, I tell them that they can go upstairs to their room and come back down when they are ready to be nice. If they don't go up by themselves (DS normally will stomp his way up the stairs himself and stomp around in his room, but he is in a better mood when he comes down), I'll take them and put them upstairs in their room and come back downstairs.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it feels like they are in timeouts in their rooms for half the day...

This is more or less what we do...sometimes it seems like I'm getting through and it works, other times, not so much. Today DD was upset b/c I wouldn't let her watch show while I put the baby down. She got mad and was fussing when I went upstairs. I heard her go to her room, put on a book on CD and get in her bed. She went back downstairs about 10 minutes later and told me, when I came down, that she was cranky and needed a break. Score! Alas, that happens about 5% of the time.