Tell me an embarrassing story about yourself!

[Daria Morgandorffer]

When I was in 6th grade I was a safety patrol officer that helped little kids cross the streets safely after school. One time I really had to pee but I was too afraid to leave my post, lest a kid die. So I peed myself, and kept helping the kids.

So the kindys and first graders teased me because I had peed my pants, and continued to call me "pee girl" the rest of the year.

I should have let them die.

[LauraMoser]

In sixth grade I was walking into the classroom one morning. I tripped over my own feet and fell into the classroom, making a very loud thud. Everyone stopped what they were doing and laughed at me.

There was another time, the summer after sixth grade I went to a public pool with my sixth grade bf. I jumped off the diving board and as I hit the water, my bikini top flew up. Fortunately there wasn't much to see on my 12 year old self and if anyone noticed, they never said anything.

[jigsy]

May 12, 2012 14:53:30 GMT -5 Daria Morgandorffer said:

When I was in 6th grade I was a safety patrol officer that helped little kids cross the streets safely after school. One time I really had to pee but I was too afraid to leave my post, lest a kid die. So I peed myself, and kept helping the kids.

So the kindys and first graders teased me because I had peed my pants, and continued to call me "pee girl" the rest of the year.

I should have let them die.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....that there is funny shit.

[megs193]

On our first date my husband took me to this little family owned italian restaurant. All of the lights were dim and it was really romantic. One of the servers told us to follow him to our table and somehow I ended up getting confused and following another server into the kitchen. We had gone out for drinks beforehand and I am lightweight so I blame it on that but I was really embarrassed.

[noodleskooze]

In high school I had a not-so-subtle crush on a teacher. After I graduated college, I went back to work for my high school. He was still there, and it was super awkward because I could totally tell that he knew I had had a crush on him.

[Willis Jackson]

I peed my pants in 5th grade while giving a presentation to my entire class.

I was nervous.

[imojoebunny]

When I was pregnant with DD, we had weekend house guest. DH farted in the bedroom. I got out of the shower and came into the bedroom and started to vomit from the smell. I ran outside onto the second story deck, which was small and over a large first floor deck. I vomited off the side. I looked down and there was our house guest on the first story deck reading the paper. I was completely naked. He never said a word and continued to "read" the paper, but there is no way he did not see my bare ass vomiting.

[Brie]

When I was in 7th grade, I went to a music camp at school for two weeks over the summer. We were watching The Sound of Music in the library one day and I got up and realized I'd gotten my period all over my white shorts and the yellow plastic chair. I was so mortified, I ran out and hid in the bathroom until a (female) teacher found me. My mom couldn't leave work right away to bring me more clothes, so they decided to find me something in the costume room from all the old musicals. So, they brought me an Alice in Wonderland costume. I had to sit in the main office (which was all glass) in the Alice costume until my mom could come get me. While I was waiting, a male teacher came in and asked me what had happened in the library because he'd seen all the blood. I just started sobbing. It was terrible.

[citybudgetmom]

Okay, we're going 6th grade over here. I can do that. A circle of the "cool" people were huddled around talking. For whatever reason I was included in said huddle that day.

It was kind of loud, or at least it seemed that was from *inside* the huddle. I was feeling proud when all of a sudden I ripped a surprise fart. This wouldn't be so bad since everyone *in* the huddle was already distracted, but I peeked behind me and realized I had farted in the FACE of some chick who was sitting in a chair. She just smiled instead of, err, "blowing" my cover.

She Facebook friended me and I can't bring myself to interact with her, even now, 20 years later.

[InvaderGIR]

It was actually just last year. I ate something that did NOT agree with me on a road trip and we ended up having to pull over so I could run into walmart and use the bathroom. I got in the bathroom and let loose. It was BAD. Well, right after I locked the stall door, someone came in to clean the bathrooms. I figured she would either wait or just clean around me(I wasn't about to show my face and planned on waiting her out). She knew I was there because I cleared my throat/shuffled my feet in an effort to make her go away. She kept spraying air freshener and then opened the door to let fresh air in. Then a male employee came in to talk to her and they both talked about how disgusting it smelled and how nasty I was. He stayed in the bathroom talking to her the entire time she cleaned and they laughed about me. I waited until they had both left, unrolled every single roll of toilet paper in the stall into the bowl, and flushed until it overflowed.

I'm not sorry.

[Deleted]

This was when I was in seventh grade. My school made everyone gather together before school and then would dismiss us by grade from the gym. 6th and 7th grade were on one side and 8th on the other.

I was trying to get to my friends on the 3rd row in the middle when my foot slipped through the bleachers and I ended up lying on top of several people stuck. I also dropped my bag lunch which ended up upside down in the same crack only saved by the apple that wouldn't let it slip through.

I was mortified. The worst part was knowing the 8th graders could see everything.

[Dusky]

I worked at a small clothing store in college and a customer I was working with was having trouble finding a decent business suit in our practically non-existent professional wear section. I suggested a nearby store, and I meant to explain that the other store's suit department was a lot larger, but I got tongue tied and instead told the woman that their suits were much larger. Luckily, she was really nice it, but it didn't stop me from turning bright red.

[KaraOrNot]

I shit my pants in 5th grade. I went to the bathroom and flushed my underwear down the toilet. I still wasn't feeling well, so I went to the nurse and they called my mom to come get me. As I was waiting for my mom, they kept saying they smelled poop and went around checking everyone's feet to see if someone had stepped in something.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 15:29:42 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

I peed my pants in 5th grade while giving a presentation to my entire class.

I was nervous.

This is ironic. I peed myself reading a story to the class while standing at the front of the class in 2nd grade. Strangely, I don't think anyone noticed.

[citybudgetmom]

May 12, 2012 17:46:59 GMT -5 InvaderGIR said:

It was actually just last year. I ate something that did NOT agree with me on a road trip and we ended up having to pull over so I could run into walmart and use the bathroom. I got in the bathroom and let loose. It was BAD. Well, right after I locked the stall door, someone came in to clean the bathrooms. I figured she would either wait or just clean around me(I wasn't about to show my face and planned on waiting her out). She knew I was there because I cleared my throat/shuffled my feet in an effort to make her go away. She kept spraying air freshener and then opened the door to let fresh air in. Then a male employee came in to talk to her and they both talked about how disgusting it smelled and how nasty I was. He stayed in the bathroom talking to her the entire time she cleaned and they laughed about me. I waited until they had both left, unrolled every single roll of toilet paper in the stall into the bowl, and flushed until it overflowed.

I'm not sorry.

Rarely do I actually crack up at stuff I read on the computer, but that is effing hilarious. I mean terrible, but SO funny. I love your revenge.

[womet]

I was in math class in 2nd grade and was struggling a bit with the material. I had to shit but I was afraid of being called on for the answer if I raised my hand. I finally found a time when I could ask to use the bathroom, but it was too late. I shit my pants on the way to the bathroom. Fortunately, it didn't get on my pants. So I flushed my underwear and washed myself up before going back to math class.
~~~~~~
Another story... I was on a trip with my mom and we were on a bus trip with her friends/coworkers. I got on the bus in the morning and was really proud about my hair that morning. I was looking really cute with how I'd styled it that morning. Rather than say "mom, how do you like my blow dry job," I asked "mom, how do you like my blow job." And of course, I was really loud about it and everyone looked at me. Mortified.

[kitty36]

A few years ago my now dh and I were at an outdoor food festival. We were STARVING when we got there I went nuts on all the yummy, fattening foods. We were in line for a booth when I felt my stomach start to cramp. I leaned back towards my husband and whispered "I'm about to have some RAGING gas." There was a pause and then an unfamiliar voice said "I don't know why you're telling me this but thanks for the warning" Yeah I had gotten separated in line from my dh and was talking to a stranger who was wearing the same color shirt. I was very happy we could melt into the crowd after my TMI moment.

[rubytue]

Back in college I was living in a studio. I was going out to a party and needed batteries for my camera. I borrowed them from my toy. Yes, that kind of toy. A rather large, purple one. And left the toy on my bed before running out the door (remember, studio apartment). Then, I got way-to-drunk to drive myself home. And my ex and his friend carried me into my apartment.

A few month later, I was the dive bar we frequented on a Saturday night. It was like 1am and it was a live radio broadcast of the "Hair Ball" (think 80s hair band music) and they were looking for sex/toy stories. My friends (including the ex, we were off and on) dared me to tell that one to win the prize pack (more toys). So I did. And won. No names. I figured what the hell, it was 1am. Everyone I knew was either out with me (my undergrad frat buddies) or asleep (my grad school colleagues).

I'm still not embarrassed yet. Did I mention this was when I was 26 and in grad school? I was MORTIFIED when I walked into my lab the next morning and the guy looked and me with this shit eating grin and said "Purple?"

[Daria Morgandorffer]

Oh I thought of another one.

In eighth grade music class, our desks were set up on the tiered steps for the choir. I had my legs all wound around the desk and accidentally scooted my desk forward- it fell off the ledge and continued to fall down three more tiers while I was stuck in it. I hit the bottom, still in my desk, staring at my class from the ground. Once they all knew I was ok, everyone laughed- hard.

[Deleted]

I was pregnant with horrible morning sickness. I felt the need to puke while I was driving home on the highway. I knew I had a plastic bag in the car so I reached over and started puking... Only to realize there was a hole in the bottom of the bag. It was all over me. so I reached back to try and find another bag, which I did and started puking again... Only to realize it was my dh sirius radio in the bag (we had just bought a new car and hadn't installed it yet)
I walked into the house crying and covered in puke and handed him the bag. He very nicely tried to clean it off but gagged the whole time. It was awful.
We threw away the radio!

[5thofjuly]

The summer after sophomore year of college I went to a bonfire with my friends from home. Of course, everyone was drinking. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom, and so did my friend Autumn. We went off to the edge of a wooded area so no one would see us.

You know how when you have to pee outside you pull your pants down, then hold your pants out of the way with one hand while you sort of make that tripod with both legs and the other arm? Pants down? Check. Out of the way? Check. Lean back on the other arm? Um. Nope. It turns out we were right at the top of a giant hill. When I went to lean back on my hand and start to pee, my hand never hit the ground (due to the hill.) I went rolling down the hill with my pants around my ankles.

My girlfriend said all she could hear was me yelling her name and it getting quieter and quieter as I got farther away, like AUTUMN AUTUmn AUTumn AUtumn Autumn autumn....

I lost one of my favorite shoes in the tumble, but didn't get seriously hurt, thank goodness. Some of our guy friends grabbed flashlights and launched a shoe search party, but we never actually found it. It was definitely one of my most embarassing moments.

[Kore]

May 12, 2012 20:15:19 GMT -5 kitty36 said:

A few years ago my now dh and I were at an outdoor food festival. We were STARVING when we got there I went nuts on all the yummy, fattening foods. We were in line for a booth when I felt my stomach start to cramp. I leaned back towards my husband and whispered "I'm about to have some RAGING gas." There was a pause and then an unfamiliar voice said "I don't know why you're telling me this but thanks for the warning" Yeah I had gotten separated in line from my dh and was talking to a stranger who was wearing the same color shirt. I was very happy we could melt into the crowd after my TMI moment.

I'm seriously dying laughing at this.

[aeroluv327]

I've had a lot of embarassing things happen to me, but this one comes to mind first, it was just a couple of weeks ago.

I got to work on a Friday morning and it had been one of those weeks. I composed an email to my friend.
Subject: As R Kelly would say...
It's the freaking weekend baby! Are you doing anything fun!

Got a reply back... from one of my buyers who has the same first initial. I turned bright red and wanted to crawl under my desk, you would have thought she could see me through the computer. Luckily, she thought it was funny and it was someone I worked with often enough that she knew I wasn't a complete idiot.

Note to self: ingest an adequate amount of caffeine before sending emails.

[georgeharrison]

May 12, 2012 20:57:15 GMT -5 Daria Morgandorffer said:

Oh I thought of another one.

In eighth grade music class, our desks were set up on the tiered steps for the choir. I had my legs all wound around the desk and accidentally scooted my desk forward- it fell off the ledge and continued to fall down three more tiers while I was stuck in it. I hit the bottom, still in my desk, staring at my class from the ground. Once they all knew I was ok, everyone laughed- hard.

Although these are all entertaining, this one made me crack up.

[megs193]

May 12, 2012 20:15:19 GMT -5 kitty36 said:

A few years ago my now dh and I were at an outdoor food festival. We were STARVING when we got there I went nuts on all the yummy, fattening foods. We were in line for a booth when I felt my stomach start to cramp. I leaned back towards my husband and whispered "I'm about to have some RAGING gas." There was a pause and then an unfamiliar voice said "I don't know why you're telling me this but thanks for the warning" Yeah I had gotten separated in line from my dh and was talking to a stranger who was wearing the same color shirt. I was very happy we could melt into the crowd after my TMI moment.

I just woke up my DH who had fallen asleep on the couch because I was laughing so hard. In case you are wondering he didn't seem to find it too funny. He looked at me like I was weird and went back to sleep.

[ijack]

OMG, the gas story has me dying!!

[isabel]

I was a high school senior (maybe a junior?). We had a home soccer game and I had been sitting on the bench the whole game. One of the girls on the field got hurt and had to come off so my coach asked me to go in. It was really cold out so I was wearing pants over my shorts. I tore my pants off... and my shorts along with them. Totally stood there in my undies for a few seconds without even realizing it. The girls on my team gave me hell, but I don't know if any of the parents or people in the stands saw. None of them said anything.

[WOT?*]

I was a sophomore in high school when a friend offered me a ride home on her way to work. Four of us crammed into the cab of her dad's Ford pickup, with me at the door since I got out first. We drove from the campus, turned left at the first street, the truck door opened and I went flying out. The greatest part is we were the first truck after the last float in the homecoming parade so half my high school saw me flying out of the truck. And I was in driver's ed at the time so this was the example used for "why you should always wear a seatbelt" for the next eight weeks. And because I broke my leg and ankle, I was in a long-leg cast for the next few weeks before I had surgery. I was "OH, YOU'RE THE ONE..." for the rest of the year.

Flamingo, I too did the two different shoes. One was leather, one was suede. Nobody mentioned a thing until my boss spoke up at about 2:00 p.m. I never even realized it until he mentioned it to me.

[laddie]

I'm dying at the gas story.

[GailGoldie]

May 12, 2012 15:30:04 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

When I was pregnant with DD, we had weekend house guest. DH farted in the bedroom. I got out of the shower and came into the bedroom and started to vomit from the smell. I ran outside onto the second story deck, which was small and over a large first floor deck. I vomited off the side. I looked down and there was our house guest on the first story deck reading the paper. I was completely naked. He never said a word and continued to "read" the paper, but there is no way he did not see my bare ass vomiting.

this has to be one of the funniest visuals ever. I love this story.