Post by oregonpachey on Jun 8, 2012 13:13:28 GMT -5
I am going to C&P a recent email convo I had with someone I donate milk to.
What are your initial thoughts when reading this?
Her: Hi Rachel! So sorry I was stuck with the girls and couldn't greet you on Friday. We are so grateful for the milk. My husband said he told you about the possibility of us going out of town. BUT, nothing is finalized yet and it may only be for a couple of weeks. So, I wanted to beg you to continue pumping for us if you can. I am just terrified of having to try formula with the girls again since they wouldn't drink it before and one of the girls broke out in hives. I will keep you posted on whether we are leaving or not and if your freezer gets too full I could have my dad meet you here to put it in ours 'cause when we get back we will still be in need! I hope to get one more delivery (or I will come pick up) before we leave (if we do) some time next week. More info soon I hope! Thanks again for all you've done for us. Wendy
Me: Hi Wendy, of course I am going to continue pumping. I don't know if your husband told you but our freezer died and I had to throw out almost all my frozen milk. Trust me when I say that was devastating. I am working to build my stash up again. When you get low again, let me know. I should have some milk by then.
Her: Oh Rachel, that is awful about your freezer! He didn't tell me as he knew I would be too upset since my girls need so much. Thanks so much for the sacrifice of your time to keep pumping!
When I get some responses, I am going to let you know what I am getting from this conversation.
My initial thoughts are the women is kindy flaky, but wants your milk. Is she helping at all with the cost of supplies? I would think they are looking into moving out of town, but haven't decided yet and don't want you to stop pumping for them.
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Are you trying to tell her that you won't be able to give her any milk for awhile and she's not getting it?
This is essentially it. I lost over 500 oz of milk and now am rebuilding my stash. I will see what I can donate to her but in the meantime, I am feeling pressured to give her some.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Jun 8, 2012 13:34:08 GMT -5
Yep I'd say she isn't quite getting it.
Do you have a local HM4HB fb page? Maybe she could find some donations there until you can donate to her again. Do you have any bfing friends that might be interested in doing a few short term donations to her? (A few moms in my bf support group have extra milk but didn't know how to go about donating)
I donate milk too & it's so easy to overextend yourself trying to help others. So far I've made 3 one time donations to separate families. While it would be great to be matched up with someone I think there would also be more pressure.
I never let my stash drop below 300oz when donating so don't feel bad about telling her you have to wait. Your baby has first dibs on your milk
Post by Ashley&Scott on Jun 8, 2012 13:36:01 GMT -5
I have another quick donor question for you, do you give Calvin any frozen milk or just fresh?
(I'm not very good about rotating my stash. At first we gave all fresh because M wasn't consistently taking the bottle. Now it just seems easier to give fresh & donate the frozen when my freezer gets full.)
Do you have a local HM4HB fb page? Maybe she could find some donations there until you can donate to her again. Do you have any bfing friends that might be interested in doing a few short term donations to her? (A few moms in my bf support group have extra milk but didn't know how to go about donating)
I donate milk too & it's so easy to overextend yourself trying to help others. So far I've made 3 one time donations to separate families. While it would be great to be matched up with someone I think there would also be more pressure.
I never let my stash drop below 300oz when donating so don't feel bad about telling her you have to wait. Your baby has first dibs on your milk
I am so glad I am not crazy. She actually found me on the HM4HB fb page so I know she knows that it exists. What did she do before me?
At any rate, I have 150 oz already built back up so I should be able to give her something next week.
Are you trying to tell her that you won't be able to give her any milk for awhile and she's not getting it?
This is essentially it. I lost over 500 oz of milk and now am rebuilding my stash. I will see what I can donate to her but in the meantime, I am feeling pressured to give her some.
OMG! I would be devastated at loosing that much!
Do you donate on a schedule or does she just call when she's running low? Obviously your son comes first so I would tell her you won't have enough extra to cover them for a few weeks while they are out of town.
Post by barefootcontessa on Jun 8, 2012 13:41:56 GMT -5
I can see how she did not get from your correspondence that you will not be giving her milk. It sounds like she has twins and is overwhelmed. I would just tell her flat out. It is nice of you to do, btw.
It sounds like her H didn't tell her about your freezer so that she would keep bugging you for milk and you'd give in to her. I don't think she gets that you don't have it.
Are you her only donor? And she has more than one baby? I am just amazed at how much milk some of you ladies are able to pump!
I have another quick donor question for you, do you give Calvin any frozen milk or just fresh?
(I'm not very good about rotating my stash. At first we gave all fresh because M wasn't consistently taking the bottle. Now it just seems easier to give fresh & donate the frozen when my freezer gets full.)
Right now he gets just fresh. I am hoping to pump until 10 months and then use the frozen stuff up until he goes to WCM. I am not good about rotating out the stash.
As a person who never breastfed, I wouldnt think about you pumping for your own child. I know that people do that, but without thinking, I would assume you just feed the baby from the breast and I get the rest. Yes, I know that is wrong. But, if you want to say something then you have to be clear.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Jun 8, 2012 13:51:44 GMT -5
Oh good I'm not the only one only feeding fresh.
I also donate the oldest milk. When M gets to be 9 months or so I plan to stop donating & pack our freezer to the brim. I'll probably pump until he's 1 year, then send frozen milk until it's gone before transitioning to WCM.
Sounds like you were both a little vague. I'd respond something along the lines "Just to be clear, until I rebuild my stash I will not be able to guarantee any donations. I hope to be able to be ready when you need it, but you might consider looking into other options just in case."
Sounds like you were both a little vague. I'd respond something along the lines "Just to be clear, until I rebuild my stash I will not be able to guarantee any donations. I hope to be able to be ready when you need it, but you might consider looking into other options just in case."
Sounds like you were both a little vague. I'd respond something along the lines "Just to be clear, until I rebuild my stash I will not be able to guarantee any donations. I hope to be able to be ready when you need it, but you might consider looking into other options just in case."
I agree with this as well. She might be assuming that since she will be gone for a few weeks you will have enough to donate when she gets back. That's how I read it.
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I think when she talks about how upset she would've been knowing about your freezer right away, it's b/c she probably understands that you wouldn't have extra to donate after losing your stash.
I think she's in a rough spot and appreciates whatever you can give her...emails are so tough: it's too easy to infer emotion that may or may not be there, kwim?