3 month schedule help desperately needed (LONG)

[2moms2b]

So the boys, I thought were done with their 12 week growth spurt but things are so upside down here I am not sure.  They used to naturally
flow with a 3 to 3.5 hour schedule and now I feel so lost as they are all over the place.  They are 3 months old

Our day pre 12 week growth spurt looked like this: Up around 6am, J would eat 5 ounces, and S would eat 4oz.  They would eat again around 9:30 to 10am, J would eat 4 to 5 oz, S would eat 4oz.  Then rinse and repeat at 1ish and 4ish.  Then at 6:30 we do baths, story, swaddle and J gets a 5oz bottle, S gets a 4oz then down for the night around 7:30. Between 3 and 4am they would wake and get a 4oz bottle then right back down.  They took all of these feedings easily and would get fussy if we were more than 15 minutes "late" for any of these times.  They took two solid naps one from 8am to 10ish and one from 1:30 to 4ish with some cat naps in between. Planning our day was easy and I could get things done.

Now it's a nightmare.  They refuse the first bottle of the morning almost every morning.  Daycare tries to give it to them again around 8:30 as
they have now been up 2.5 hours and it's been almost 5 hours since they ate but its a crap shoot.  Sometimes they eat it other times no.  They
get fussy around 9:30 still and take a bottle (the ounces range) and then the rest of the day is anyone's guess.  They generally both will
eat around 1 like normal but the 4pm bottle is typically a fight where they might eat 3 ounces max and the night time bottle is a nightmare
unless we wait until 8pm or later.  They are picking random times of the day (never the same time) to eat and now take like 8+ bottles of the
day at smaller ounces.  The only reason I don't worry about the long stretches is they are still getting the ounces they need but I am about
to cry as we cannot leave the house or plan any errands as we have no clue what they are going to do.  They have been like this for almost 2
weeks and I am at a loss.   They also still take two solid naps just now its around 10 to 1 and from 2 to 4:30. 

I figured they were naturally trying putting more time between their feedings so we could increase S to 5oz and a couple of J's bottles to 6oz (as they would only be eating 5 times a day instead of 6).  The issue I am having is they are so all over the place, I am not sure how to get them back to a schedule and cut out all these random 2oz bottles.  I just figured things would even out by now.

So my question is should I try and get them back to the old schedule or try and move them to a 4 to 5 hour schedule cutting out a bottle?  Also how would you even go about doing this with them fighting the first bottle of the day? 

I know some people are very ok no schedule especially at this age but with two and each day we both have about 2 to 3 hours alone with them, we have to do something.  We are both so overwhelmed we are starting to fight and it's just not a good place to be.  Thank you all so much for reading all this and I welcome any advice.  

  

[ElsaVonM]

You're already ahead of where we were at 12 weeks - they were still eating every 2.5-3 hours at night and taking 1.5 hour naps in between. I wouldn't try to get them to go 4-5 hours between eating - even adults usually want a snack if they're going that long between eating (except at night). I think that things will even out naturally and they'll settle into a new pattern. At this age they are whole new people every 4 or 5 weeks and you just have to go with the flow. (As far as errands, we just did a lot of stuff solo while other mom and babies stayed home - and if it was something we all needed or wanted to do together, we just left right after a nap and hoped for the best.)

[2moms2b]

Thanks! I agree switching them to the longer schedule is probably not best it just seems they were doing it themselves. My biggest issue is all these 2oz bottles they are now eating. I feel like we are back to the beginning with always feeding someone. There is no predictability and it's so hard on them and in turn hard on us. It's like content to screaming hungry in -5 seconds.

I plan on talking to daycare as after writing this and thinking about it, it might be nap related as they are easier (not scheduled) on the weekends when we enforce the eat play sleep routine. They might only catnap but they are never awake for more than an hour or so. I need to find out if they are napping frequently at daycare or just the two longer naps. If they are exhausted all the time this might have something to do with it. I could be totally wrong but at least I feel like I have a place to start.

The head scratching moment for me still is the first bottle of the day. I cannot understand why this bottle is our biggest challenge when they have gone the longest stretch of sleep. If anyone has any suggestions here I will greatly take them.

[2brides]

Like Elsa, you are ahead of where we were at 12w (eating every 3 hrs like clockwork and no where near sleeping for more than 3 hrs.) I am all for scheduling - but it took us a long time to get one down pat since in the beginning they are always switching stuff up on you. I'd just follow their lead since it'll change in a few weeks anyway.

And at least feeding them when you are out and about isn't too difficult. I had to time every outing because there was no way I could discretely nurse them simultaneously in public.

[ElsaVonM]

I wish I knew how to make babies eat, but alas. I remember on the twin board on The Bump someone posted and asked if they should buy the 4oz bottles, and TONS of people wrote back and said "No, we were only using the 8oz bottles by 6 weeks" or 8 weeks or 12 weeks. Um . . . We STILL use our 4oz bottles, because very frequently they just don't want 6 or 8 oz. I have no idea how we're going to handle weaning off of bottles in a few weeks because they are interested in cups as playthings, not as very-important-nutrition-you-are-going-to-waste-away-if-you-don't-drink-this!

Have you watched the Louis CK special, "Chewed Up"? One of the things he talks about is trying to convince his kids to eat.

"They have your footprint at the hospital, they know that I have you, I'm not allowed to let you die . . . You have a social security number, you're on the grid mother***er, EAT! If you're skinny, I go to jail, do you understand?"

Sometimes when the babies won't eat I'm all "YOU'RE ON THE GRID" and they just stare at me. But it makes me feel better. :-D

[2moms2b]

Elsa that made me laugh so thank you! And Cookie we just moved to size two fast flow nipples and it seems to help in the area of fighting the bottle.

I am happy to report that I let the boys sleep this morning until 7:15 got them up and dressed and they ate! They ate full bottles!!!! I think by letting them sleep an extra hour they were more awake, hungry and ready to eat. I figure now I will just let them sleep in the morning until they wake up or until I absolutely have to get them up. The good news is I work from home so I don't have to leave until 7:45 to 8am to get them dropped off and back home for work.

Thanks everyone for your feedback and support! I am feeling much more positive today.