Age old wedding RSVP question

[hannamarin]

Our friend (not close) is getting married in Sept but sent the invites a month ago. Wow! And they are due at the end of this month.
The invite said no kids. No problem. My ILs will keep her overnight. We will get her the next day or just sleep at ILs after the wedding. iLs live 30 min away. Wedding another 20 min farther from ILs.
Ceremony is at 1pm. Reception is at 6pm. Same location.
Rsvp has both listed. There must be some food at the ceremony or they need to order chairs..? So, we need to know now if we are going to both or one, etc
layla will be 9 mths by then. But means we have to drop her off by noon, then probably go back and hang with the ILs for the afternoon (fine, we like them, but nap unlikely) then go to the wedding.
Would you go to all of it?
We will definitely attend the reception

[winofairy]

I would probably not go especially since you aren't "close" friends. Just seems like a lot of trouble for you. I don't like it when the reception is not immediately after the wedding.

[brit1017]

I would probably go to both. While I really, really hate long breaks between the ceremony and the reception, if I had family that I could visit, it wouldn't bother me.

If you are only going to go to one, I would go to the ceremony. It seems odd to skip the wedding ceremony, which is the important part, and just show up for the party.

[curbsideprophet]

I would go to the ceremony, both or none. I would not just go to the reception. 20 min is not far, I would take advantage of the break to go and feed DD.

[lala]

I would go to both assuming I wanted to go to the wedding. I am not a fan of just going to the reception, I figure if I can't be bothered to go to the meaningful part, the actual wedding, I shouldn't just go the party.

The situation actually doesn't seem that bad to me - it's odd that there is a big gap when it's at the same location, usually it's 2 locations, but I'd plan on going back to the house, hanging w/ DD and then going back to the dinner. It's only 20 minutes. OR if I wanted to make a day of it, I'd find something local that interested DH and I and we'd have a museum, shopping or other date in the middle.

It is really bizarre that a wedding in Sept has an RSVP date now - 3 months ahead? That is crazy. Most invites only go out 8 weeks in advance. Lots of people don't know that far out if they can even go. Most caterers only need a head count one week out max.

[Deleted]

This is all the norm where I live, down to the early invites (allows to invite a Blist). Gaps are common. I'd go to everything if I wanted to go at all.

[drloretta]

I'd go to everything. I would not skip the ceremony but attend the reception.

[littlemermaid]

Most wedding receptions I attend have 200 - 400 people at them. The bride and groom do not expect all those people to attend the ceremony. In my circle of family and friends the ceremony is more for family and really close friends. The reception is the celebration of their wedding and that's where they invite the "extras" like coworkers, work associates, people they haven't seen in a while. If I were you I would go to the reception only since she's not a close friend. It'll be a nice evening out for you and your husband.

[hannamarin]

My only reason to not go to the ceremony is that it is at noon. Which means, we have to leave our house at 11am. That means get the baby all ready, us all ready, etc all before that. It becomes a very long day. Especially if we spend the night at ILs.

[Deleted]

I would just go to the reception. A five hour gap between the two is just too long. Plus, while others here have said the ceremony is the important part, when I was a bride I would have wanted more people at the reception. I was fine with only family and close friends at the ceremony but definitely wanted a party at the reception. The more the merrier!

[vanillacourage]

I'd go to everything and have a mini-date with my DH in between, not hang with my inlaws.