I suppose I should introduce myself

[awkwardpenguin]

Hi everyone.  I've randomly interjected in a few threads over here, so I figured I'd introduce myself.  My wife and I are a same-sex couple, and we've been TTC for just over a year.  We started with trying at home, but now are seeing an RE.  DW will be the one to carry, and her official Dx right now is unexplained.  She is 35 and all her testing has come back normal.

We've been working with an RE since November but haven't managed to do a cycle with the RE yet.  We're in the process of jumping through lots of legal and clinical hoops to get our donor's banked sperm released to our RE's office.  Once that happens, we'll have our first medicated IUIs.  We did another "on our own" attempt this past week, so DW is now in the TWW.

Just wanted to say hi.  It's strange for me as the non-IF partner, but this crazy process has affected me a lot too.

[discogranny]

Welcome! It's a lot on both parts of the equation, no matter how the equation is made up. You are her support system and it can be just as taxing as being the one who is actually undergoing the procedures.

I hope you guys get lucky before you have to go to medicated IUIs, but if not, I hope you have a quick stay at the RE. Good luck!

[HoneySpider]

Hi! Sorry that you're here but welcome to the board

[KaraOrNot]

Welcome!

[G22]

Welcome!

[genet313]

Sorry you have to be here awkward, but welcome!  We're a good group.  

[ilovecandy]

Welcome!

[womet]

Hi and welcome! Call me naive, but can you explain how you do things "on your own" at home? 

[trace]

Welcome!

[azurely]

Can I ask a possibly naive question? How did you decide DW will carry the baby?

[awkwardpenguin]

Ideally we both want to carry one child, so really we just decided she would go first. She's 35 and I'm 32, plus I have some medical issues that we thought might make it harder for me (endometriosis, and some meds I'd have to get off), so it made sense to start with her. As it turns out, we're not having an easy time of it with her, either.

Many female same-sex couples start out going right to the RE, but we had this quaint idea that we wanted to be as low-intervention as possible. And we also knew that we wanted to use a friend as a donor. So we went to a women's health clinic here with an "alternative insemination" program. They said we could try "on our own" or bank our donor's sperm and do unmedicated IUI. We gave on our own a try, and it's pretty much the "turkey baster method" you hear jokes about, except we use a specimen cup and a 3cc oral syringe. Our donor hands us over the specimen and we use the oral syringe to place the sperm as close to the cervix as possible. It's totally not as awkward in real life as I think that sounds when I type it out, but he is a pretty close friend.

Now that we're using the RE, our donor is donating his sperm to a bank to be washed and frozen into IUI vials so we can use them for IUI. At least in our state, all sperm must be processed through a sperm bank in order to be used in fertility procedures performed by a doctor. So that's a set of hoops to jump through.

I'm active on the LGBT board here and was active on the LGBT parenting board on The Bump, so I know people who have had success with lots of different methods, including the try at home method. It just hasn't worked for us.