Post by Captain Serious on May 1, 2013 15:35:18 GMT -5
I mean, really, at this point, I no longer consider her a friend. This is the one who couldn't fathom why I would want or feel the need to stay home with my boys rather than work, since they are already school-aged.
I went to lunch with her the other day, and after very little chit-chat, she delved right in.
"Friend": So, have you shared your plans with your family yet? Do your parents know?
Me: Oh, them?!? They've known for months! Pretty much since I decided.
"F": And they are on board? They don't think you're crazy?
Me (completely taken aback and wondering where they hell she's going with this): They think it's great!
Waited a moment while her comment sunk in deeper
Me: I don't know why anyone would consider it crazy. And, Lord knows, I've done far crazier things in my life. It would take a lot more than me wanting to be home and take care of my children for them to think I'm doing something crazy.
Scene.
I decided to just let it all go, because decided that either she's really career driven and just can't understand, jealous, or can't stand to be around her own children. Whatever, she's always been really sweet, and I don't see her often outside of work anyway. This friendship will likely just fade out.
Then today, I ran into her in the hall. She was walking with an older, female coworker, who stopped me because she wanted to wish me well. The end of our short conversation went like this:
Older Coworker: Enjoy your time with them. You'll never regret it.
Me: Thanks. That's what I figure, too.
"Friend": You'll be telling yourself that when you're home, pulling your hair out.
I just walked away. Peace out. It's all clear now; she just doesn't like her children enough to want to be home with them. Got it. I'm done and over any friendship we shared.
Post by Captain Serious on May 1, 2013 15:46:44 GMT -5
I don't know what about?
I do know that her parents and in-laws are very involved in her life and parenting, and that she hates it but doesn't stop it, so I'm sure she assumed that I would just let my parents influence my choices, too.
I think she is jealous and doing everything she can to rain on your parade. I'm jealous of anyone that doesn't have to work. LOL. I wouldn't be a jerk about it, though.
WTF? I'm one of those moms that failed miserably at being home. But I totally get that some people LOOOOOOOVE it, and wouldn't miss it for the world.
And remind me...they are in school occasionally, yes? I might actually kill for that set up. Being home with them sometimes, but not all the time, etc. THAT I could probably handle.
She's crazy. And maybe jealous? I'm having a hard time understanding her.
They are both in school, but have special needs that are increasing as they age. I also commute 2 hours a day, and feel like I'm constantly running between school, work, therapy, tutoring appointments, sports, doctors, other appointments, etc.
Post by Captain Serious on May 1, 2013 15:55:59 GMT -5
Also jillianashley6 I used to hate staying at home. I was miserable home with M and couldn't wait to get back to work where I had an outside purpose that was just for me and not shared with other family members. But once J joined the family, I was constantly busy and no longer felt that way. Things worked so much smoother before I returned to work, and the whole family was happier because of it. I can't wait to return to that.
I think this is such a bizarre thing to judge about. Some women love staying home and others love going to work. I don't get it.
I was never meant to be a SAHM. With both kids I stayed home for 6 weeks and (8 with my son) and promptly went back to work. Even with that, I can totally understand you wanting to stay home. After explaining why makes it even more desirable to stay home but you owe no one an explanation.
She honestly sounds jealous. Of What? I have no clue. Maybe she wants to not work and is jealous you get to? Who knows
Post by Captain Serious on May 1, 2013 16:31:26 GMT -5
I feel like she's judging that I'm either lazy, since the boys will be in school most the day (excepting summer, of course), or somehow not "good enough" for being able to work and be a mother at the same time. It's so bizarre. I don't think she'd be judging me as harshly if the boys weren't in school yet.