I'm worried about my MIL

[Deleted]

We have not seen her in weeks. Every time FIL comes over or there is a family gathering of sorts she begs off citing some vague 'stomach bug' as her reason. IDK what to think. I am fairly certain that she is in the early stages of dementia (she's always been a little nuts, but it's more pronounced in the past several months. She will ask me the same questions multiple times in the same conversation, just says off the wall stuff...). Anyway, I am worried that she is distancing herself from the family so that we don't notice it or something. Or she is sick and doesn't want us to know. It would be very typical of her to just not tell anyone if she was seriously ill. She likes to be the one in control of everything, so she wouldn't want anyone doing anything for her. Ugh. 

[2boys2danes]

Ugh.. that does sound very suspicious. Can H talk to your FIL about it and maybe see if he has noticed anything??

[orval]

Plastic surgery? I know from what you describe, there are other things going on. But it could be a possibility?

[Deleted]

May 4, 2013 15:14:53 GMT -5 orval said:

Plastic surgery? I know from what you describe, there are other things going on. But it could be a possibility?

Lol. I hadn't considered that. Guess I'll know soon enough. She can't hide forever. 

[litebright]

My grandmother does this, and my grandfather aids and abets. She is in the not-so-early stages of dementia; it's very obvious now and I think she is less self-aware as time goes on, but they started this habit when she was still pretty cognizant of it. He actively tries to keep their time with people other than my mom very short. Phone calls are like 5 minutes, max.

A couple of years ago, they drove to Denver from Ohio as part of a cross-country trip and I swear, they were at our house for 20 minutes, took us to lunch, then left. I was kind of baffled, but they've gotten themselves into this approach and now it's just the way they handle everything.

[wildfloweragain]

We have a family member of that generation who does this due to alcoholism. She had it kicked for 20ish yrs but life events happened.
I don't mean must be your MIL has alcoholism but it sounds familiar having something she doesn't want the family to pick up on.


...sent from my Jedi mind

[underwaterrhymes]

Is it possible she's anxious about socializing? My grandmother went through a big change a few years ago from enjoying going out and seeing others and now she rarely leaves the house. She's definitely going downhill a bit mentally, but mostly she's anxious.

Regardless, I'm sorry.

[snickers]

Aw, I am sorry.
It could be any number of things, unfortunately, you probably won't know until FIL or MIl tell your DH. I hope that happens so, so you can support her with whatever it is.

[livinitup]

You can't declare your concerns and ask some questions? Visit?

[saraandmichael]

why haven't you gone over to see her?

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone. I'm close with my SIL and we have talked about it. She's on top of it and has talked to her dad about it. We both agree that it is most likely worsening dementia. We're just going to keep monitoring the situation. She's just...difficult at baseline. Idk what we're going to do. Ugh.

[hopecounts]

Get her to a psychiatrist there's medicine that can stabilize her mental condition.
My gran was on it and we had 10 relatively good years (she remembered us, was able to handle self care, Etx.) before for a short and drastic decline just before she passed.
That time included her meeting my daughter so I wouldn't trade them for anything.

[Deleted]

May 4, 2013 16:34:58 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

why haven't you gone over to see her?

Because she's never home. My husband has go e over a couple of times but she goes off to the store as soon as he gets there. 

[saraandmichael]

May 4, 2013 17:08:00 GMT -5 @bostonjen said:

May 4, 2013 16:34:58 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

why haven't you gone over to see her?

Because she's never home. My husband has go e over a couple of times but she goes off to the store as soon as he gets there. 

=(

that sounds troubling, for sure.

you all lived with your in-laws between houses for a bit, right? was everything alright then?

[Deleted]

Sara, it was as normal as it ever was I guess. She just keeps herself busy and spends all her time going to the grocery store or running around doing make up errands to run. She's slippery.