I'm so glad you took this difficult step into the light. Facing your fears can be so painful, but it's very important for the process of healing. ((((sara))))
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I am so glad you got to have this session with your dad and that it helped you! Glad your dad finally gave you the validation, support, and understanding you deserved and that your relationship with him is moving in a more positive direction. You are amazing.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
I'm SO happy that you're dad is finally giving you what you need. This is amazing and I couldn't be more proud of you for taking this bull by the fucking horns!
I have a question... which you don't have to answer - obviously.
Does his wife believe her son raped you?
you know, its funny that you ask that because my therapist asked the same thing. and it had never occurred to me that she wouldn't believe it. at the time i answered with saying that i think she does because i have never really considered her not.
and as part of this very layered process, my stepmom has been to see my therapist as well (on her own...we are not in a place to be there at the same time yet) and was asked that very question. and she said that she absolutely believes it and has never had doubt in me saying it happened.
however, my stepmom lives in a world where her son is dead and just cannot think of him having done that. which, you know, i get is a survival tactic and don't begrudge her need for that in the least. however, that need of hers very much conflicts with my own needs regarding memories of him, which is a big stumbling block in this whole process.
I always assumed she didn't believe you or she wouldn't be acting the way she has all this time. On one hand, I'm glad she believes it's true, b/c otherwise - any relationship with her would be impossible. On the other hand - it almost makes her seem like more of a monster to believe it, but expect your dad to celebrate his memory (and everything else her crazy ass has done).
it sounds like she believes that it happened, but not that "her son" did it. if that makes any sense.
yes. nail meets head.
My guess is she will never fully move forward and deal with this the 'right' way until she accepts that HER SON was a monster. Now - that doesn't mean she has to dwell on it and let her love for him turn to hatred. She can forgive him and move forward, but there is no true forgiveness, and no actual moving, if reality never comes into play to begin with.
This is so awesome...I have chills and tears in my eyes. Here's the thing Sara - ALL of us knew you could do this. We really did. I'm so happy to hear you feel you're making progress. (((Sara)))
Post by saraandmichael on May 7, 2013 12:14:43 GMT -5
thank you all so much for the support and encouragement.
one of the most challenging parts of this has been not having that from the people in my life that i am used to getting it from. and not because they haven't offered words of encouragement or thoughts of strength and bravery, but because they have felt hollow and disingenuous because of their own feelings about how i have/am handled all of this. and it has been so incredibly lonely to sit with these thoughts day after day and not have anyone to unload them on. so thanks for collectively being that person.