Visiting family- a vent

[Willis Jackson]

I'm visiting my parents right now. My dad is retired. My mom was a SAHM but all of her children are grown so I guess she's retired, too.

DS (3) is being difficult and jealous of all the attention DD (9mo) is getting, while DD is overwhelmed by all of the attention and is very fussy and clingy. The house is not childproofed AT ALL so I'm constantly pulling dangerous crap out of DS's hands. DH is not with us on this trip.

I just told my mom that I was frustrated by being pulled in different directions and being unable to keep my kids content. She says to me, "Yeah, multiply that by 12 and you have my life."

WTF is she talking about?! She is such a one-upper. Ugh.

[karinothing]

Ugh, I hate people like that. So annoying. All the more reason to ditch them and come over. I have wine

[OscarQ]

Are you one of 12 kids? Hmmm, sorry that your mom isn't being more helpful. I'd be pissed that she was ignoring one kid while overwhelming the other one. If your mom is such a pro she should know better. Not cool.

[vanillacourage]

How did the drive go?

Are there activities near your parents (zoo, etc) that you can take them to to escape for a while? Hang in there.

[anna7602]

My mom is a one-upper, too. It sucks. Sometimes you just want someone to say, "I know, it's hard" or maybe "it gets better." But the whole my-life-was-a-billion-times-harder-so-suck-it-up attitude kills me.

[bunch]

"you're right, mom. Since you've got this whole martyr role down, I'm going to Kari's for a drink while you keep the kids. 2 more shouldn't be a big deal at all."

[Willis Jackson]

She had 4 kids, which she reminds me ALL THE TIME. "Imagine if you had twice as many kids like I did!" For some reason she's also constantly saying, "What if DS were twins and DD were sextuplets like the Gosselins!" Um, what?

The drive went really well. We left mid morning, stopped at a McDonald's playplace for a few hours at lunchtime, and rolled into my parents' for a late dinner. DS pretty much just watched trucks drive by for 7 hours, perfectly happy.

Kari! I suggested we get lunch yesterday! My brothers and their kids are coming so we're booked until we leave

[hannamarin]

People who have 12 kids get no sympathy You made yourbed

I hate how clueless grandparents suddenly become.
My ILs (who I love dearly) dont seem to understand that 4 of them in Laylas face cooing and kissing etc is too much for a baby. Especially when she just woke up. My H has to tell them almost every weekend.
They also dont understand that when we arrive, it is not nice to suddenly ignore the older nieces who actually get hurt when Layla could care less.
Soon, I know L will want to play more by herself (on the floor, etc) but they prefer to carry her around or sit with her on their lap. Even know you can see her getting bored.

[karinothing]

Jun 10, 2012 15:36:31 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

She had 4 kids, which she reminds me ALL THE TIME. "Imagine if you had twice as many kids like I did!" For some reason she's also constantly saying, "What if DS were twins and DD were sextuplets like the Gosselins!" Um, what?

The drive went really well. We left mid morning, stopped at a McDonald's playplace for a few hours at lunchtime, and rolled into my parents' for a late dinner. DS pretty much just watched trucks drive by for 7 hours, perfectly happy.

Kari! I suggested we get lunch yesterday! My brothers and their kids are coming so we're booked until we leave

Oh no! I missed that Next time we must make plans though. I have a chance to go to London (the US city not the UK one) soon (not sure if I am going to go). I can't remember if you are anywhere near there BUT if you are DS and I would need someone to hang out with during the day.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry, that is rough and super annoying. I wish you luck and hope you send me some in return. I will be with my ILs and my mom for 10 days starting this coming Friday. They all mean well and try to be helpful but end up doing the opposite.

[RandZB]

Sounds just like my mom. She is always so "busy" that she can't clean her house or show up on time for anything or get bills written out and in the mail. Yeah, she's a housewife who does no housework and has plenty of time to be on Facebook all day. But she is busier than I am, a mom of a toddler and a baby who works full time and still manages to keep her house presentable. It infuriates me.

[SusanBAnthony]

I just got home from a weekend with my IL's. I can commiserate. It was horrible at first- my MIL was so so so clueless- she got up in the kids faces all the time and tried to sntach them away when they only wanted me. And made lots of PA remarks about rocking them to sleep, etc. And their house was not childproofed, so I spent the whole time picking up random crap and finding tall shelved to stash it on.

Anyway, now my SIL has a baby, and MIL watches her 2 days a week. Suddenly the house is picked up, and MIL actually admitted that she doesn't know how to get niece to nap, bc she just holds her the whole time she sleeps. LOLOLOLOLOL. The criticism of me has ended!

[zeewifeandmama]

Ugh how obnoxious!

[onomatopoeia]

Do your siblings have a bunch of kids (12)? My mom sometimes plays the martyr/woe is me card when it comes to this. DS got sick a few months ago at the same time my nephew came down with strep throat, and she went on and on about "how much more can I handle?". Mom, you live 12 hours away. You don't need to DO anything. Just tell DS you hope he feels better.

She also talks about how she "is a single mom with 5 kids". When she first started saying this, she only had my 16 year old brother left at home and she lived 5 minutes away from my dad (who was a very active parent).

Basically, I'm just commiserating with you. I think for my mom, it's a lot of seeking validation and acknowledgement for everything she did/does.

[barefootcontessa]

I can only imagine how incredibly difficult it is to be retired and then have your daughter and two grandkids visit. I am tired just thinking about it.

I am laughing at the Kate Gosselin comment. Yes, your daughter could have been six babies -- so you should be grateful you only had one.