s/o - depression question

[speckledfrog]

May 9, 2013 13:02:33 GMT -5 bethieroo said:

Guys, let's ask Vino!

Stop being an ass.


I felt like this in junior high.  I wished I would get hit by a car on the way to school or get some sort of fatal illness.  It wasn't until years later that I realized this wasn't okay.

[papie]

I read her post even though I had never read her blog before, and it described exactly how I have been feeling the last few months. The lack of emotions. Nothing is fun, nothing IS. I am just there, going through the motions of every fucking day. I do wish I was dead sometimes, but I would never have the energy or desire to do something about it.
I fucking hate depression.

[game blouses]

Yes. I was in college and the dentist told me I'd need several fillings (I'd neglected my dental care for a while). He left the room and I thought "I won't need teeth if I'm dead. I'll just make the appointment to get him off my back, and I'll be dead before that." Having that thought cross my mind shocked me into reality.

[bcv513]

I felt like this in junior high. Sometimes I used to think "Would anyone even miss me." Besides my parents of course. Early teenage-hood is rough

[Deleted]

May 9, 2013 12:08:07 GMT -5 lemon said:

I'm not really sure. My son died a year ago this month. When I think about death/dying, I'm just not afraid of it anymore. Does that count? IDK.

I am sorry about your son. I lost a daughter just over 2 years ago and I know that feeling about not being afraid of death because she went through it. But I have also had moments where I have felt like if I was going to continue feeling so sad and missing her, that I would rather just not wake up. I have gotten past those feelings for the most part, but when I hit different milestones, the feelings rush back.

[pinkeggs]

May 9, 2013 13:11:20 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

May 9, 2013 12:08:07 GMT -5 lemon said:

I'm not really sure. My son died a year ago this month. When I think about death/dying, I'm just not afraid of it anymore. Does that count? IDK.

I am sorry about your son. I lost a daughter just over 2 years ago and I know that feeling about not being afraid of death because she went through it. But I have also had moments where I have felt like if I was going to continue feeling so sad and missing her, that I would rather just not wake up. I have gotten past those feelings for the most part, but when I hit different milestones, the feelings rush back.

(hug) to both of you.

[papie]

May 9, 2013 13:11:20 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

May 9, 2013 12:08:07 GMT -5 lemon said:

I'm not really sure. My son died a year ago this month. When I think about death/dying, I'm just not afraid of it anymore. Does that count? IDK.

I am sorry about your son. I lost a daughter just over 2 years ago and I know that feeling about not being afraid of death because she went through it. But I have also had moments where I have felt like if I was going to continue feeling so sad and missing her, that I would rather just not wake up. I have gotten past those feelings for the most part, but when I hit different milestones, the feelings rush back.

(((hugs))) to both of you.  I can't imagine the pain. 

[Deleted]

I have never wanted to be dead. I would like to live forever if possible.

Although I used to ask myself that question during times of particular hard life "stuff"..."do i just want to die and not have to feel this way?" The answer has always been no, and then I am able to come out of it with some perspective.

[snipsnsnails]

May 9, 2013 13:12:22 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

May 9, 2013 13:11:20 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

I am sorry about your son. I lost a daughter just over 2 years ago and I know that feeling about not being afraid of death because she went through it. But I have also had moments where I have felt like if I was going to continue feeling so sad and missing her, that I would rather just not wake up. I have gotten past those feelings for the most part, but when I hit different milestones, the feelings rush back.

(hug) to both of you.

I just want to echo the hugs to both of you, Mjm and lemon.

[agnes]

Most of my teenage years, I felt like this.

[lemon]

May 9, 2013 13:11:20 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

May 9, 2013 12:08:07 GMT -5 lemon said:

I'm not really sure. My son died a year ago this month. When I think about death/dying, I'm just not afraid of it anymore. Does that count? IDK.

I am sorry about your son. I lost a daughter just over 2 years ago and I know that feeling about not being afraid of death because she went through it. But I have also had moments where I have felt like if I was going to continue feeling so sad and missing her, that I would rather just not wake up. I have gotten past those feelings for the most part, but when I hit different milestones, the feelings rush back.

I'm sorry for your loss as well.  Hugs to you.  It's the shittiest club ever.

[sporky]

Yes, absolutely. I was actually suicidal back in high school- had written the notes and everything, but didn't actually do it (obviously). Since then, in my deeper depressions, which happen from time to time, I have certainly had the "the world would be better off if I wasn't here" thoughts, and the whole idea of just no longer existing definitely resonated with me. I've been there and it sucks.