Thank you for being pleasant and helpful yesterday, it was a nice change from what I've experienced with you. I'm excited to move forward and it sounds like I've finally proven myself to you, you sounded comfortable in my assessment of new issues arising with Owl, I'm happy to have your approval.
Signed, Feeling Freer
Dear J,
I can see the stress of returning to work beginning to build, please don't let it take a toll on our relationship again, we are SO good right now. I am here for you and have your back.
Love, Your Wife
Dear Dog,
You dig crater size holes all over the yard, eat my expensive running shoes, have chewed through three garden hoses, do not follow commands, jump on the kids, and destroy pretty much everything... WTH do I do with you? I have tried and tried with no avail, I am at my wits end. I don't want to rehome you but I also don't want the kids to be afraid anymore. Let's get it together please.
Dear weather, I have a really important job interview today so please please ease up. I feel like I straightened my hair for nothing now! I also do not want to walk in looking like a drowned rat.
Sincerely, The drowned rat
Dear job interview, My nerves are now shot from driving through flooded areas, hail and torrential rain so please please please go well. I really need you to work out especially since you offer domestic partnership benefits and M really needs insurance.
Sincerely, Qualified applicant who needs a change fast.
please get better. We have a non-refundable room reserved in that city for our staycation. I'd like you to be well enough to go and have fun.
love, your wife
Dear weather,
Please don't be too hot today when I am having to stand in the middle of the unshaded t-ball field. And please don't rain tomorrow during the staycation. I purposefully paid more money so we were in walkable distance from everything. I'd like to enjoy my walking.
Please, please stop walking through the screen door. I know it's hilarious and convenient to make you're own doggy door but I m tired to re-screening the dang thing and I want to leave it open! I am resorting to ghetto duct tape in an effort to make it more difficult to get through. Please just slide it open.
Love.
Dear (other) baby o'mine:
Kindly stop sucking up all my H2O or I'm going to end up in the hospital. Hugging the gym shower floor as the room spun around me, while N screamed his head off, terrified, this morning was too far. I don't want to go to the hospital but no matter how much freaking water I drink, it doesn't seem enough. You seem hell bent on a weekend visit. I, on the other hand, would like to stay out until August. Let's stop this madness, shall we?
Dear weather in my state, It is may. My daughter is trying to learn the seasons and our constant wearing of sweaters confuses her. Also, I don't think it is fair I am being blamed & called "mean" for buying spring clothes she cannot wear.
A tired cold mama
Dear hiring manager,
Thank you for the beautiful email telling me you are not going to hire me for the job because I am overqualified & would be better suited for the supervisors job. Your kind words do not help me buy my family a minivan. I assure you I would have been very happy and not overstepped my bounds.
Post by seattlekari on May 10, 2013 13:04:16 GMT -5
Dear A's boss,
Why do you have to be such an asshat douchenozzle? Treating the supervisors who report to you like shit does not make happy and productive employees. Also, listening to those who work for you that actually DO THE WORK might teach you a few things. I wish the guy supervising you would see what a tool you are and kick you to the curb.
Sincerely,
the girl who loves A and would like to see her more than twice a month
Dear E's dad,
Sometimes (like last night) we can get along so well, almost like friends. Can you please find it within you to continue on that track? The angry spiteful you is not pleasant to deal with.
Post by bluedaisyus on May 10, 2013 14:03:26 GMT -5
Dear wife,
Sunday is our anniversary. We don't have to get up early on Monday and will have the house all to ourselves. I fully expect you to take advantage of me. If not, I'll be pissed.
Post by never2amazing on May 10, 2013 15:16:23 GMT -5
Dear Wifey,
Thank you for the WONDERFUL surprise this morning. The flowers are beautiful and I am so looking forward to opening the gift and cards. Looking forward to Don Pablo's tonight...great idea! And yes, I would love to do a train ride with my brood tomorrow!
Hugs and Love, Yours
Dear Peanut,
PLEASE find my IPOD! I know I should have taken it from you, but I didn't because, well frankly, I love you and I want you to be able to play the games I downloaded just for you and your brother. However, with that being said, FIND MY IPOD KIDDO!
Thank you for the beautiful email telling me you are not going to hire me for the job because I am overqualified & would be better suited for the supervisors job. Your kind words do not help me buy my family a minivan. I assure you I would have been very happy and not overstepped my bounds.