People are dumb, ya'll. Lying on a resume!?

[gmail]

Colleague of mine is on a search committee, and sees a name he recognizes from a previous job. She blatantly lied about her past responsibilities, trying to make herself match the required responsibilities of the open job. Colleague knows the work she did (b/c he worked with her) and knows that she had NOTHING to do with that particular job area.

So she's an idiot for lying AND for not realizing that her former colleague works at our institution and would most likely be asked about her. Higher Ed is a small world.

[kimmyo73]

As a fellow, Higher Ed person I can attest to the small world comment. We are a mobile bunch and you will cross paths again when you least expect it.

[snickers]

Wow, I also wish you could call her on it.

[fuckyourcouch]

y'all*

(i'm just being a dick, that is really stupid of her.)

[underwaterrhymes]

Yeah, this isn't the smartest thing to do.

We had a young woman apply for an internship position when I worked at Disney. She had indicated she was fluent in French on her resume. So one of the recruiters who happened to also be fluent in French asked her some questions en Francais.

She had no fucking clue what he was saying. Busted!

[gmail]

We interviewed, and offered to, a candidate many years ago. His resume stated that he had earned his MA, but after we offered, he was all "Oh..yeah...so I won't officially graduate until December (start date was July 1) because I still need to finish a paper. That's cool, right?"

[Deleted]

After divorcing my ex-H, he went through all kinds of job drama and kept getting new jobs and losing them. It started with him getting fired from the job he had while we were married because it turned out he was stealing money from his employer. He was the headmaster of a private Christian school and was directly paying our bills from the school account and also writing checks to cash (I obviously had NO idea). After that he was fired from about 4 jobs in 3 years. I know one of those lost jobs was because they found out he lied about his former employment.

I kept wondering how the fuck he kept getting good jobs with his past job drama. Well, it turned out he was putting a big gap in employment on his resume, and then telling potential employers that his wife died so he took a lengthy sabbatical and spent the time speaking and writing. His wife before me did die, but he took like a whole two weeks off of work when it happened.

His lie ended up working out for him, and now he has a really fantastic job in administration at a private school in California. Part of me really wants to tip them off that he is a lying liar who lies. And then pretends to be sooooo Godly. He is gross.

[ndolehan]

We have a chick like this at work - lies about stuff all the time. She keeps saying she has a culinary degree, but her food was so awful they pulled her transcripts. She never graduated! Only went to 5 weeks of class!

She was smart enough not to put anything on her application about graduationg though, so there wasn't much they could do about things, she still lies about having degree. I don't think she knows about them pulling transcripts. I've almost told her a few times, but no one really likes her, everyone knows...maybe someday when she ticks me off enough!

[sent]

May 10, 2013 12:28:01 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Yeah, this isn't the smartest thing to do.

We had a young woman apply for an internship position when I worked at Disney. She had indicated she was fluent in French on her resume. So one of the recruiters who happened to also be fluent in French asked her some questions en Francais.

She had no fucking clue what he was saying. Busted!

I put that I had an interest in conversational German and Spanish.  Interest, not fluency.  Because I had taken both in high school and continued in college and really did want to become better at them, but that's hard to do living in the US.

The selection committee for this one grad school I was applying to had a few of the current students on it.  One of them was a dude that had done his Mormon missionary in a German country for 2 years and was therefore fluent.  He reamed me for a good 2 minutes in German.  Then a Spanish speaking student on the committee lectured me about honesty and integrity in our field and how he is fluent in Spanish and is so cultured and blah blah.  I did point out that my resume said "interest" and never said I was fluent.  What I didn't tell them is that I am fluent in 2 other languages.  But I didn't indicate those languages on my resume because they would've never heard of those languages.  It would've only served to make me look weird rather than vanilla with a slight hint of interest which is what they were looking for.  

Obviously I didn't get into that school.  But I did get in somewhere else so technically and unfortunately, those d-bags are now my colleagues.  

If I ever see them at a meeting and have had enough margaritas, I will let them have a piece of my mind.  Except it will be in my other fluent languages.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

May 10, 2013 14:44:02 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

May 10, 2013 14:26:26 GMT -5 sent said:

What I didn't tell them is that I am fluent in 2 other languages.  But I didn't indicate those languages on my resume because they would've never heard of those languages.

Lol! What?

I'm fluent in Whale, yo.

[zoidberg]

May 10, 2013 14:48:40 GMT -5 sawyerthedestroyer said:

May 10, 2013 14:44:02 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Lol! What?

I'm fluent in Whale, yo.

And Klingon.

[goaskalice]

May 10, 2013 14:58:45 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

May 10, 2013 14:48:40 GMT -5 sawyerthedestroyer said:

I'm fluent in Whale, yo.

MeeeeeEEEEEeee ttttoOOOOOOOooooOO.

Damn it you took the words right out of my mouth. 

[Deleted]

May 10, 2013 14:58:45 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

May 10, 2013 14:48:40 GMT -5 sawyerthedestroyer said:

I'm fluent in Whale, yo.

MeeeeeEEEEEeee ttttoOOOOOOOooooOO.

I am legit LOLing at this. I love this thread. sent please share these two nearly unknown languages.

[gozf]

lo-fucking-l.

I need to know what these mysterious languages are.

[jane6672]

May 20, 2013 12:16:18 GMT -5 toledo said:

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS THREAD. Bumpity bump.

god, if you do exist, thank you for sending sent to us all. OMG, YOU NAMED HER SENT. It's a sign!

REPENT AND BELIEEEEEVE.

[margotmacomber]

LOL at some German country.

I bet she speaks Pokemon.

Also, lol that the fact that posters know details of other posters lives is like, some crazy weird thing.  

[Deleted]

@cse1960. @cse1960.

You are missing the point of the resurrection of this thread.

[softspot]

May 20, 2013 13:27:28 GMT -5 Stan said:

I'm don't curse in English in public, so our clients who translate obscure languages in the military give me good phrases. I can say go f your mother and suck my balls in Pashto. I use them often. The other night at the Sharks and Kings, we got a 5 on 3, so I yelled, "How do you like 5 on 3 now? Hochte mei woochra!"

knowing you IRL makes this so much more funny.

[cc]

I love speaking whale.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2013 13:34:02 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Ds1 got me a book for Mother's Day that is all about how to curse around the world. I will post some in a bit, they are awesome.

My cousin tried to give up cussing when he though his baby was starting to pick up on words. Cousin couldn't completely give it up, so he took to cussing in other languages. By the time the baby was a toddler, he was running around saying "scheisse" (shit in German) when he got a boo-boo. 

[agnes]

May 20, 2013 14:25:54 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

May 20, 2013 13:34:02 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Ds1 got me a book for Mother's Day that is all about how to curse around the world. I will post some in a bit, they are awesome.

My cousin tried to give up cussing when he though his baby was starting to pick up on words. Cousin couldn't completely give it up, so he took to cussing in other languages. By the time the baby was a toddler, he was running around saying "scheisse" (shit in German) when he got a boo-boo. 

My Nana (great grandma) used to say "scheisse poo" all the time.  She was 2nd gen Californian and not of German descent.

She also liked the word "twat."  I never knew this was a bad word until I older.

[silva]

So...what's the rule about changing your job title to fit the job needs/make yourself look better?

Because someone I know wanted to change her title from Admin. Assistant to Director of First Impressions.

My response..."ummmmmm."

[silva]

May 20, 2013 15:42:45 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

May 20, 2013 15:39:32 GMT -5 silva said:

So...what's the rule about changing your job title to fit the job needs/make yourself look better?

Because someone I know wanted to change her title from Admin. Assistant to Director of First Impressions.

My response..."ummmmmm."

If someone said that to me, I would totally tell them it's a good idea.  If only for the ensuing hilarity.

I'm there as well. My husband however seemed to think it's common. I thought, sure, but "Director of First Impressions?" Come on!

[hisno1girl]

Maybe she speaks Jive?



Best. Movie. Ever.