Let's talk about boys, then.

[Wrath0fKuus]

frkls, I particularly want to hear your opinion on this, having both a tiny husband and a son who is getting HGH for being similarly tiny.

How affected are boys/men by the brainwashing that male = big, muscular, square-jawed, and solves all problems by violence?

[studytime45]

My boyfriend is only slightly taller than me (I'm 5'6.5", he's like 5'9") and it bothers him when I wear super high heels. I don't think the fact that he's below-average height really gets to him, but feeling smaller than I am does get to him.

From my experience with male friends, it's definitely a factor in their self-esteem.

[deanlicker78]

My BIL is my height (5'4") and he weighs maybe 120 lbs. He struggles with his size all the time. He has tried everything to bulk up with no success and it has caused some serious depression for him at times.

[speckledfrog]

I think it's over simplifying to say that J is getting hormones just because he's "tiny."

[Deleted]

May 14, 2013 15:01:41 GMT -5 studytime45 said:

My boyfriend is only slightly taller than me (I'm 5'6.5", he's like 5'9") and it bothers him when I wear super high heels. I don't think the fact that he's below-average height really gets to him, but feeling smaller than I am does get to him.

From my experience with male friends, it's definitely a factor in their self-esteem.

Average male Canadian height is 5'9. He's not below average.

[littlesthobo]

Hmmm. I keep typing and deleting because I'm having a hard time articulating what I'm thinking.
Oddly enough, I'm more concerned about my son seeing my husband watch hockey games than I am about my daughter watching princess movies. My son has a heart defect, so it's unlikely he'll ever be athletic. I'd hate for him to think that to be a "man" he has to be athletic/strong.
But that could just be me being overprotective of my baby.

[CurlyQ284]

My DH is 5'7", his height doesn't seem to bother him. He is also not muscular, square jawed or violent. He is average, mellow, and likes watching TV. In fact, I know very few guys that meet that stereotype or seem bothered by it.

I think male stereotypes aren't as "in your face" as the female stereotypes.

ETA I guess I should add that DH has this big huge jeep with a bunch of add ons so maybe he is compensating lol

[sawyerthedestroyer]

H is 5'6" and was picked on a lot throughout his school years because of it. He still has issues regarding his height sometimes. He works out a lot partly because he feels like he needs to compensate.

[partiallysunny]

My H is short, but he's in denial. I'm only 5'1" and when I wear heals I'm almost level with him. He is constantly telling me he is "average" height for a man. I don't believe him, but I don't argue.

Needless to say, our son is small compared to every kid his age (even little girls). He's only two, so I'm not yet sure how this is going to effect him.

My H doesn't seem effected by it, that I can tell. But H is quit, so it's hard to tell. I only remember one time him ever getting angry about something that was related to his size (our friend was fucking around and put on H's pants. This friend was very tall and H's pants looked hilarious on him).

[Deleted]

I've been brainwashed to think a man should be bigger than me in some form, physically, and that's the way I like it. I'm not small and tiny men do not interest me.

[studytime45]

May 14, 2013 15:09:43 GMT -5 @fucksticklegit said:

May 14, 2013 15:01:41 GMT -5 studytime45 said:

My boyfriend is only slightly taller than me (I'm 5'6.5", he's like 5'9") and it bothers him when I wear super high heels. I don't think the fact that he's below-average height really gets to him, but feeling smaller than I am does get to him.

From my experience with male friends, it's definitely a factor in their self-esteem.

Average male Canadian height is 5'9. He's not below average.

Oh really? I thought it was at least a little above 5'10". I'm sorry if my "below-average" comment seemed cruel, it definitely wasn't meant to be. I love him!! lol

[Knight]

H and I are the same height (5'9) and it doesn't seem to bother him. He doesn't really care if I wear heels but I rarely do anyway. It looks like J may end up taller than both of us but I don't see that bothering H.

[Deleted]

I must be a rare breed. I both accept that we are indoctrinated from birth and choose to perpetuate the indoctrination (selectively, of course).

Meh. Culture is subjective. There is no open culture free of prejudice and purposeless ideals of beauty. If I didn't allow myself to be guided by American cultural norms I'd be adopting others.

[karmasabiotch]

It's a factor. Boys get picked on more. At my last job when I worked with men that used physical violence, many of them identified height as one of their issues.

J will be short. I'm 4'11 and H's family is short as well. I think that this will be a factor for him at some point. Hopefully he will either be really smart or really funny so that he doesn't stand out and get picked on.

[LeggsBenedict]

My brother is 5'2. People loooove pointing that out to him, like he never noticed.

[Deleted]

J and I are roughly the same height, somewhere between 5'9-5'10. He LOVES when I wear heels.

Being as tall as I am as a girl, I tended to prefer guys much larger than myself so I could feel like a dainty flower...except I'm not in any way... But its never been a hard and fast rule and now I couldn't care less that the guy I'm with isn't a hulking behemoth because he's fucking amazing in so many other ways.

[luckyval]

May 14, 2013 15:20:37 GMT -5 LeggsBenedict said:

My brother is 5'2. People loooove pointing that out to him, like he ever noticed.

This is also a problem for my friend who is 6'4"

It amazes me how often she gets comments and stares

[Deleted]

My dad is 5'2. He isn't a stereotypical male...he is quiet, mild mannered and soft spoken. Smart. Polite. Sweet.

He says he got teased when he was a kid, but it doesn't seem to have impacted him any. He is exactly the kind of man I would hope my son would grow up to be.

[Wrath0fKuus]

May 14, 2013 15:07:01 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Do you ever get tired of THINKING about stuff? lol

Nope!  You're tired because your brain is flabby.  Just think of me as the brain version of Jillian Michaels, minus the screaming in people's faces because I'm not a close talker.

[purplecow0206]

DH and I are about the same height (5'5" or so) and I know it weirds him out when I wear heels. He doesn't like to admit it out loud, but he does. The only time he made an actual preference known was at our wedding (mainly because of the photos), but it's come up other than then. When we were first dating, especially, he'd make an off-handed comment about my being tall EVERY time I wore heels. He doesn't say much now, but I also only wear heels on fancy date nights, which we don't have that often, or at least we have them less than when we first dated.

[Deleted]

I know nothing about boys really. I will say I think it's interesting that we all immediately go to height and for women we usually go to breasts and weight.

[MWOS]

On a related note, how do we feel about treating Type 1 diabetes with insulin? We sure do live in a culture obsessed with sugar!

[pantsparty]

My brother is 5'4" and he has had more girlfriends AND friends than almost all my other brothers combined, LOL. It really doesn't phase him, he's super easy going and friendly. When he was in high school he did well in the lightweight wrestling division.

I think my dad is 5'5" and it doesn't seem to bother him. My mom is 5'7", so she tries not to wear heels when they go out, but overall he seems fine with it.

[cleo29]

I was just asking H, who I know in high school worked hard to bulk up and add muscle. His reason, he didn't want to be picked on anymore and he is not a short guy. He was just tall and thin.

He told me that one of the bigger influences on boys are professional athletes and the use of steroids to get the body and muscle mass.

[pantsparty]

May 14, 2013 15:07:01 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Do you ever get tired of THINKING about stuff? lol

I left the Merida post as soon as I saw kuus has posted. I was all Okay, this shit is about to get way too heavy and intelligent for me. Then I put on heels and a roast in the oven while waiting for my husband to come home.

[pedanticwench]

I always feel like a lumbering oaf around my dad, who is at least 2-3 inches shorter than me.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2013 15:33:32 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

KHC is seven. He's intensely aware of his hair and his clothes, and he's intensely aware of the appearances of others. He is scared of seeming too smart, because the smart boys aren't the "tough" boys. And he wants to be tough.

I've told the tale before of his woes over toys as a toddler, and how he liked the little-girl toys but because they were pink had a little identity crisis over it.

I don't think it's as rough for boys as it is for girls, but I think there are a shitload of dumb stereotypes out there that serve to keep the sexes apart as little kids, particularly these days. When we were little, things were not so sharply divided, I don't think.

This is my brother. Dude is insanely smart but purposely never turned in assignments because he didn't want to be seen as the nerd. He was also super popular and had awesome hair. Definitely the cool kid in our family. 

[thebuddhagouda]

I'm less than an inch shorter than my husband, and I'll be damned if I'm giving up my heels. He's never cared.

I know he was teased over his height as a kid, so I hope that's never an issue for our son. All of the men in my family are over 6 ft though, and he's always been in the 90% for height so it may not. As an adult male, his height makes no difference to him. I will admit that I occasionally miss having a significant other that makes me feel tiny, but that's my issue not his.

[savan]

DH was one of those small boys. He says he didn't reach his current height, just 5'8" (though if you ask he will say it's 5'10"), until college. He was tormented and stuffed into lockers in high school. He was terrified DS would also be small but so far that doesn't seem to be the case. There is definitely a stigma out there.

[luckyval]

May 14, 2013 15:34:53 GMT -5 pedanticwench said:

I always feel like a lumbering oaf around my dad, who is at least 2-3 inches shorter than me.

Eh, I'm 5'5'' and I feel like a lumbering oaf most of the time