I wish my sister could have a pep talk with ML.

[rex]

My sister had a fiance. I did not like him from minute one, fyi. 

Asshole cheated on her, I assume numerous times, because my sister finally found out when someone took the time to video his antics and show her. I won't even get to what was on the video, but this guy is SCUM. 

She gave him back the ring, but is still dating and living with him. Will not leave. 

Told me tonight, "just pray for me. I love him." 

I just don't know what happened to her that she has no self-respect. I keep telling her that she is worth so much and she can have so much better, and she doesn't need to take this. 

I know there's nothing I can do. She lives 1,000 miles away so I can't even talk to her face-to-face. I have no idea what else to say to her besides what I have been. 

My heart is just breaking for her. 

[Deleted]

What is her reason for staying?

I mean, aside from loving him.

[rex]

It's her only reason. I've asked.

She would have help in a heartbeat to move back home, which she has said she would do if she ever did leave. We've talked about how positive it would be to get away from him and be around people who love her. She's basically alone there.

I think she is afraid, and that's really why she won't leave. I haven't said that to her though. I'm trying to keep her talking to me.

[luckyval]

How long have they been together?

[karmasabiotch]

Did Frkls SIL ever come back?

[karmasabiotch]

Is he physically abusive?

It sounds like her spirit is broken.

[Deleted]

Can you convince her to come home for a long weekend vacation? Have fun, chat, let her see how great it would be to come home???

That is your best bet, I think.

[rex]

May 22, 2013 18:23:59 GMT -5 luckyval said:

How long have they been together?

A year. She is also only 23.

It's a mess.

I don't think he is physically abusive, but in the times I have seen them together, he is drinking heavily and insults/makes fun of her a lot. When I say drink heavily, I mean I have seen him drink a 12-pack in an hour on numerous occasions. 

[cleo29]

May 22, 2013 18:23:02 GMT -5 rex said:

It's her only reason. I've asked.

She would have help in a heartbeat to move back home, which she has said she would do if she ever did leave. We've talked about how positive it would be to get away from him and be around people who love her. She's basically alone there.

I think she is afraid, and that's really why she won't leave. I haven't said that to her though. I'm trying to keep her talking to me.

If she does ever leave him, she has to have no communication with him for at least six months. People don't do this and many times end up getting sucked back in, but you need to give yourself to detox from the relationship, stop missing the guy and then see how much better things are without them.

[lilybug]

When I found out about XH's cheating, it wasn't an immediate "Get your shit, it's over" kind of thing. I knew I wanted to split, but I doubted myself a million times - it was all so confusing. am forever grateful to the people who encouraged me and made me feel justified in kicking his ass to the curb.

Just stick with her. It sounds like you're doing all the right things - hopefully she works up the courage to leave.